First of please dont judge me by this post. I have been married for two years and love my wife very much, I have two little kids and as I said in my last post they are completely my whole world. I grew up with out a farther and as one of 5 kids things were hard. I work full time office hours, and want the best for my kids, a nice house for then to grow up in (rent private dont own yet) and just for them to be happy, and to always know that what ever or when ever they need me I am there for them.
Anyway back to my post, I dont drink alcohol barely at all, the main reason my brother was an alcolic and the amount of times I had to pick him for the hospital, or police station, the amount of times he tried kill himself, the fights, and the mess he used to get himslef in to. Being the only family left round here it was always up to me to sort things out.
Last night being new year, I decided to have a few cans of larger, I had four cans, got a little tipsy and completely flipped with my wife, I pushed her on to the sofa, I smashed cups, threw things (not at her) and all this was over a silly little remark. I feel so ashamed, stupid, and low, I did everything i swore I wouldn't do, and scared my wife, i feel like scum!! My mother was in an abusive marriage with my stepfather and I remember most of it, and said I would never go down that way. I really hope that this was just because of the drink and not the start of me getting angry easily as I get older, we have had our usual married couple rows but nothing like this before, the kids were upstiar sleeping, but I worrie if this happens again and they are around,, what if my wife left me and took the kids. We are okay today I have scrubbed the house cooked a big lunch, fixed the cuboard and she seems okay with me now, bit its still playing on my mind what I did.
hi, yeah will have a look at this. My wife has been really good about this, we had a nice long talk, and she said generally I am not an angry person, and am usually calm, she says she dosent think any less of me, she was shocked, but relies it was the drink, apparently I had vodka, which I dont remember. We also think that maybe as for the past few weeks, I have either been working or in the house, I need to get out once in a while and do my own thing. I enjoy wildlife photography, so gonna try and get out a little more with that, as I don't get to do it so much these days.