I'm very new to all this, so if I've placed this on the wrong board, I'm sorry.
My wife left me in December, when our daughter was 3 months old. She claimed that I was too controlling, because I wouldn't let her parents stay as much as she wanted them to. To put this into perspective, her parents live in Northern Ireland, and stayed with us for 8 weeks when our daughter was born. My wife wanted them to come and stay for another couple of weeks, despite the fact they had only been gone for a month, whereas I felt we needed more time together on our own as a family. She left to go and stay with her parents in Northern Ireland and hasn't spoken to me since. I get an occasional text, saying my daughter is fine, but no real insight into how she's doing.
Since she left, I have been travelling the 800 miles return journey, once a month to see my daughter. That is all I have been allowed by me ex, and for 2 hours only at a time. I have obviously been going through the courts, to get a formal arrangement to see my daughter. This was agreed last Wednesday, which means that I can go over and see my daughter twice a month, on two consecutive days each time. Sadly, I think it will only have to be once a month, due to the costs involved. However, whilst we were in court we couldn't obviously check flight times etc, and so the times of the visit were left open for discussion between my wife and I. On checking flight times, the very next day, it seems I only have two options. The first is to fly from Cardiff, which is my nearest airport. I would fly out at 3pm and therefore reach their house in Northern Ireland at about 5:30pm, so I could see my daughter for two hours then. The following day I proposed that I see her between 08:00 and 10:00 in the morning. I realise that these times aren't the most sociable, but they're hardly the middle of the night, especially for a baby. My wife refused these times, and has given me set times that I can go and see my daughter. In order to go see her at these times, my only option is to fly from Bristol, and get a 7am flight, which means getting up at 4am on the Saturday, waiting around for 6 hours in northern Ireland, seeing my daughter for 2 hours, and then having another 6 hours to waste, getting up the following day to do the same, to return home at about 9pm on the Sunday. Obviously I want to see my daughter, but the times of the flights really restrict me, and the ones my wife are forcing me to use, means additional costs, and that I would have no time at the weekend at all, even to simply get my washing done for work on Monday.
I just cant believe how unreasonable my ex is being. What makes matters worse, is that I spoke to the CAFCAS officer dealing with our case, and she sided with my ex, saying that I would get better quality contact if I go in the middle of the day. I mean I can see her point, but it's like they just don't live in the real world.
I was just wondering if anyone else has been through anything similar, and has any suggestions for me? Any help would be much appreciated.
I think from where you stand, you would have the option of going along with what she has said, or writting to the judge that handled the case and ask them for advice, the case hasn't long been closed, I know my ex wrote to the judge after our case was finished when she was in one of her awkward moods......(which was life long Lol) and the judge made an order via the post.
There is no gaurentee they will agree with your request but it would be worth a go.
Hey mate I just joined today and read your post. Wow I thought I had it bad and I live in the next street as my child. Massive respect for you you are a proper dad to do that for your child, I wish you all the luck and hope you get a LOT more time soon.