Hi There,
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It seems like you are in a very low place at the moment, many of us have been where you are and the biggest thing you need to worry about when it is like this is to look after yourself and your health.
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If you are in a situation of meltdown and breaking down, then I would say you need to speak with your GP and ask for some help, if you have already then return and explain that things aren't any better and if anything they are worse and you need further help.
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With regards to your son and ex, the court order is written so that she has to make your son available when stated, it can't enforce that you turn up, and certianly wouldn;t enforce that you turn up when you are un well and likely to pass the illness on to your son.
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It's the threats that are the worse, what does she threaten you with?
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GTTS