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TOPIC: Recent separation

Recent separation 6 months 3 weeks ago #99059

  • Hth
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Me and my wife recently had verbal arguements. She called the police and we called our families to help us resolve the issues.

The police adviced us both to go to our parents house for 2-3 days and let the situation calm down.

We have a 3 yr old son and my wife is 8 months pregnant. Its been now 46 days she is at her parents house . Yesterday there was my family function. I have sent a message to her via her brother in order to take my son with me to the function.
But she said she will not allow my to take my son anywhere but agreed to meet my som at her parents house.

I went to see him and asked if I can take him to the function for few hours but she refused to allow me.

I am considering to file a divorce application because the reason for divorce is big a enough for me. But since she is pregnant I want to know what are my rights.i dont want her to make any false allegations about being incompetent parent and not attempting to contact my son. She has blocked me to contact her directly.
Please advice what should I be doing at this stage?

Whats my right over my son.
I am not able to contact her directly but my message is passed over to her via her brother.

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Recent separation 6 months 3 weeks ago #99062

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I would say that the first step would be to try counselling, such as Relate, before doing anything else. She is 88 months pregnant, so her hormones could be all over the place at the moment.

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Recent separation 6 months 3 weeks ago #99068

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Thank you

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Recent separation 6 months 3 weeks ago #99079

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Hi there

Even if you feel that your marriage is over, it would be worth trying some marriage counselling, just to be sure that you’ve done everything you can, especially as you have a child, with one on the way... as actd says, her hormones will be all over the place.

The other option would be to try mediation, to get some arrangements in place for contact with your child. You could contact a mediator near to where she lives and have a chat, but leave it up to them to write to her and ask her to attend...hopefully you can reach agreement and maybe even talk about what she wants and when she might come home?

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Recent separation 6 months 2 weeks ago #99169

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actd wrote: I would say that the first step would be to try counselling, such as Relate, before doing anything else. She is 88 months pregnant, so her hormones could be all over the place at the moment.


oops 8 months pregnant, not 88 months - that would be perfectly understandable.

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Recent separation 6 months 1 week ago #99231

Hi hth, how is your situation now?

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Recent separation 6 months 1 week ago #99260

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Arranged by family to see my son yesterday as it was his birthday. She called the police to kick me and my mother out.
Not once we were asked to leave by instead police were called secretly.

Now I have arranged an appointment with mediator to see if they can help @ a cost of £90 per session.

Otherwise Ive been advised to apply for child contact through application C11 for but my financial situation are not great to afford barristors fee.

Thank you guys for your advice

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Recent separation 6 months 1 week ago #99272

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That’s awful! Why would she want to spoil her child’s birthday like that.

Mediation is required before an application for a Child Arrangements Order can be made. If it fails or she refuses to attend, the mediator will sign the C100 form to enable you to apply to court.

It’s possible to represent yourself in family court, which brings the costs right down... its a £215 court fee, but that’s the only payment. We will do what we can to advise and support you, it’s doable and we have had many members go it alone with much success.

You might like to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, where you’ll get face to face support and advice from others in a similar situation. Here’s a link to their website where you’ll find details of meetings nationally, hopefully there will be one near you.

www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings

All the best

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Recent separation 6 months 1 week ago #99357

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Hello
Thanks for support guys.
Update:
My mediation appointment is not due for 2 weeks as they are busy.
Meanwhile, I have received courts order of ‘ non-molestation’ from my ex wife which states number of restrictions to me such as:
1) not to contact her in any means
2) not to go near her upto 100m
3) not to threaten her or use any violence

In her statement shes made many false alligations of domestic violence and making threats to her.

I dont have any history of violence and never made any threats. Does the court believe in such allegations for serving me this order.

It does say i can appeal for this order to be removed within two days.

This means shes made it even more difficult for me to see my son. If I am not allowed to contact her or see her that means wont br able to see my son.

Any advice will be appreciated.
Should i instruct a solicitor/barristor now.
Next hearing is on Thursday 13th June 2019.
Any recommendations of a barristor is appreciated in my area. Wembley/Southall West London

Thank you all

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Recent separation 6 months 1 week ago #99363

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Hi there

If there hasn’t been any domestic violence and she is making false allegations, perhaps it would be wise to appeal it.

What I find strange... when a non mol has been issued, it’s the courts responsibility to set a further hearing for the person served with the NMO, to be able to respond to the allegations made about them. Has that not happened in your case? You could call the court and ask them about it.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Recent separation 6 months 1 week ago #99367

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I thooihbty the upcoming hearing on the 13th June is so that I can oppose the order + allegations.
There are not other hearings ive been told about.
She said that shes at high risk apparently so insisted on emergny NMO.

I am instructing a Barristor today and see what she advices.

Thank you

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Recent separation 6 months 1 week ago #99369

hth i live in same locality. i am guessing your hearing will be in central london, holborn? yes its a good idea to get a barrister. i have read other cases like this that on the day of hearing, the non-mol order is seen as nonsense and thrown out. lot of the times its used as an excuse to get legal aid. i am surprised a non-mol was not used against me. i worked fast. did MIAM mediation assessment, didnt bother mention to ex as she cut contact with me, and doing that third party messaging crap thats happening with you. mediator was satisfied and said hes just signing me off to make a court application.

when you speak to barrister, press them about a fact finding hearing, and if he/she can work hard to convince the court, not to go for that. its very likely the other side will ask for fact finding hearing. glad i avoided that in my case.

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