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TOPIC: Changing school

Changing school 1 year 11 months ago #93338

Hi All

Great site and forum, learning much from reading the posts.

I've got a bit of an issue which hopefully someone can answer.

Basically, my Son, whom is 7, lives with his mum. My contact (agreed after several rounds of meditation when the boy was a few weeks old), stays with me every other weekend, and we normally wing it with school holidays etc.

This has been fine for the last 7 years, however, since march, the lads behavior has deteriorated where he has been suspended from school for a total of 16 days since march and if wasn't for the summer holidays starting, would have been expelled. He has become violent and aggressive with use of very bad language etc.

During this time, Family resilience team (level 3 safeguarding) have been involved to try to understand why the sudden change in behavior. This behavior is not limited to school as there has been a few occasions at home where she has had to call her mother and brother on separate occasions to help her calm him down.
Now I must point out, I have yet to experience any such behavior when he stays with me. I''m not claiming Dad of the year, just pointing out facts.

I have learned over the last few months that her ex was violent, there was domestic violence in the house, arguments, shouting etc. Although this has now stopped as the ex is no longer around, she has had a child with him and I believe this is a possible cause to his behavior.

Much of his Behavior has been refusing to go home, shouting abuse as his mum etc.

I have offered to help, but this was ignored and since then, she has cut off all links with me, apart from every other Friday when I pick him up.
He has apparently started seeing a child psychologist, paid for by his Nan, (mothers side) to which as of yet I have had no contact with or copy of assessment.

I am concerned that he will be expelled eventually when going back to school in September, and I am thinking the only way to resolve this would be to put an urgent specific steps order to move him to a school near me, which would also have to be accompanied by a residential order as I live more than an hours drive.

My question is how likely would I be to get this order approved?

Thanks for your time.

Ben

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Changing school 1 year 11 months ago #93361

  • actd
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Residence isn't normally moved unless there's a good reason with regards to a child's welfare, but I would certainly say you have a good argument. I do wonder whether this could be done in time, but I would speak to the resilience team to see if they would be prepared to support your application. Once issue or argument shoe could put is that it would be separating your son from his sibling.

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Changing school 1 year 11 months ago #93368

  • Mojo
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Hi there

I can understand your concerns, but as actd says there has to be serious safeguarding issues before a court would make that decision.

Have the family resilience team included you in their assessments? Are Social Services involved?

As the problem ex is no longer around, and he is getting help, the court may consider that moving him would cause further disruption and would just exacerbate his situation, which wouldn’t be in his best interests.

That said, if the problem doesn’t improve it’s certainly worth thinking about. I would get onto the agencies that are involved with your son, keeping in regular contact with the school and the team that are working with him.

As you have parental responsibility you are entitled to receive reports from the child psychologist, the fact that when he spends time with you his behaviour improves, should form part of the consultations.

I would write to her formally and ask for details of the psychologist, reminding her that you are entitled to be kept up to,date with anything concerning his health and well being. Perhaps a solicitors letter would be more effective at getting the flow of information established.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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