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TOPIC: excluded

excluded 9 years 9 months ago #6710

  • bigted
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After a series of behavioural difficulties over a year my 12 year old daughter has now been permanently excluded from her school, we loved in a city and moved to the countryside last October.
Although my Daughter has tried to fit in and make friends, she has found the whole ethos of the school to be pedantic and punished for the least little thing, (not wearing a school shirt).
I have tried to teach her to conform but at her age and the trauma of the split between her mother and i, it has become a battle field of wills, and bad temper.
She constantly seeks confirmation of acceptance (although she knows that i love her and will not let her down),i fell that she still see's adults as the "enemy" and goes out of her way to upset the balance and not do as she is asked. I have asked for help from the school with her behaviour and she has now been referred to an educational psychologist and has to attend an evaluation.
I am worried that there maybe an underlying ADHD issue here but i have been advised not to label this bout of behaviour too early.
Is there anyone else who is experiencing this behaviour and evaluation process who could advise me ?

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Re: excluded 9 years 9 months ago #6726

Hi bigted

I'm really sorry to hear that your daughter has been permanently excluded from her school. It sounds as if she is a very unhappy, angry girl and often children are only able to show their feelings by 'acting out'. Coping with the aftermath of a divorce, especially if it wasn't particularly amicable together with a move to the country and a new school are all huge events for her to cope with together with the onset of puberty and raging hormones.

What she needs is lots of love and reassurance, although it sounds like you are doing a great job of this already. I would resist the temptation of pinning a label on your daughter too at this stage and wait until you see what the results of her referral to an ed psych reveal.

In the meantime you can get expert advice about how to handle your daughter through Parentline. You can call them for free, 24/7 or log on to [url:3cu28d62] www.parentlineplus.org.uk [/url]

I hope this helps.

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Re: excluded 9 years 8 months ago #7093

Hi bigted,
I do hope things have settled for you and her since you posted your concerns - sorry to hear of your difficulties. There seems to be a number of things your daughter may need help with e.g. confidence building, anger management etc. Its important to constantly talk and reassure her - spend valuable one-to-one time with her doing things you both like in order to build a better rapport because she is still at an impressionable age.

A really good ebook you will find that gives lots of tips and better understanding of exclusion and how the system works can be found on Amazon on
http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-About-Seco ... B004AYDLYE
It will also help you with finding a new school if you need to, dealing with parents evening, reports etc. I found it very useful.

Best wishes

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