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TOPIC: To win or not to win?

To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4523

I play badminton with my kids every Sunday and it is great - they always get a head start and will usually let them win. It is funny as they rule all my shots out, but it is nothing more than some fun.

Part of me thinks I should not let them win as learning to lose is every bit as important as learning to win.

However for their self esteem it is good to see them win but as I just kidding them?

What do you think?

Mario

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4527

Ooooo toughy. I think it's good to let them win sometimes, but ok for you to win at others.... But never tell them cos as they get older there will be days you wish you had a choice?? ;)

of course there is loads of room for being encouraging throughtout games like that too ;)

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4564

If they are anything like my young nephew, they most likely know that you let them win!!

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4565

Interesting one really, I would mix it up a bit as you don't want them getting to down hearted(especially if there quite competitive) but then the best way for them to learn is to lose as then will just want to get better and beat you.

My lad is nearly 3 and when we're playing footie in the garden i've already started not letting him score everytime-he's not going to become Villa captain otherwise is he.. :lol: :lol:

It is a tricky one though as when they get a bit older they will probally hate to think that you let them win,I know I did.

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4567

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I used to play chess regularly with my son - I never let him win, and when he won for the first time, he really enjoyed it as he knew it was by his own efforts. These days, we are more evenly matched, though he has checkmated me in the minimum number of moves (3 is it?) on a few occasions.

The lesson I did need to teach him was that he couldn't be a bad winner, since if he was, no-one would want to play with him.

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4568

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I don't know about 'letting them win'. I consider myself to be reasonably good at Bowling on the Wii and recently, my three year old beat me :shock: . We don't even play it that often. It doesn't get switched on for weeks at a time. Then every now and then we have a couple of hours ...and he beat me! :oops:

As for letting them win. No one likes to lose all the time - it's just no fun ...and could be quite demoralising. I think there is a subtle distinction between actively 'letting someone win' (which feels a bit patronising) and just lowering your game a bit.

I used to play badminton with my wife and I would try to always return, even if it was wildly out, I would try to position the shuttle, rather than slamming it and little things like that. It meant I was still getting a good game out of it and she wasn't getting slaughtered all the time.

Similarly, when cycling (touring long distance) if I was the stronger cyclist, I would ride to my mates speed, but always just out in front pacing him and visa versa when he was stronger than me. When I'm out with my boys I will keep in a high gear, so that I'm working harder than them, but we're achieving about the same.

I think the important thing is to make sure that every now and then you have a bit of a blow out and play someone at your own level.

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4572

But never tell them cos as they get older there will be days you wish you had a choice??

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4628

Apparently schools sports days are to change as they are to be non competitive - surely it is important to learn to lose as it is to win?

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Re: To win or not to win? 9 years 5 months ago #4753

Played crazy golf at the seaside with the kids and I went round in one under par - thats taking things too seriously isnt it????

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