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TOPIC: One Night Stand Dad

One Night Stand Dad 2 years 11 months ago #77865

Hello my name is Paul, I am 21 years old and i have been born in a small village in Germany. After I finished Highschool I left to travel the world, that was almost 4 years ago and I haven’t been back since. At the very moment I am living on an island in Thailand working as a surf teacher. This is my story:

About a month or two ago I went to a friends birthday party. It was a small party, we made a little fire and had some beers at the beach. It was a beautiful night and our mute was up, so we continued drinking into the early morning hours passing around joints and having a good time. There was a girl on this party, her name as I found out now is Lin, she is 29 years old, Thai, and comes from a poor religious family, making a living as chef in a hotel kitchen. To make a long story short: We had left together and parted in the morning never hearing of each other again, both forgetting each others name... Until, than 14 days ago, i suddenly recived a phone call of her: Her period was three weeks late by then and we went to the doctor together, who confirmed the pregnancy. An abortion is of no discussion from her side (and illegal here); me, I would prefer to get one but i have to respect her decision. So now I am trying not to get crazy and mad of worry and deal with it. What happened, happened.
Since i am not an irresponsible dickhead (coward), there is no way out of it but being father whether i like it or not. I hope some of you happened to become a father in a similar matter and can share some experiences with me, their fears, how they tackled the problems they where suddenly facing etc...

P.S. To get ahead of some comments, which might come up now: This girl is not a hooker or bitch or whatever some people might prejudge after reading my story. She is also not after my money. She is also not a baby crazy chick. She didn’t wanted to be in this situation just as much as me, myself. And this NOT a Thai Baby scam or whatever.. I hope for some serious answers or advices. Or best some storys of other guys who fathered a child during a one-night-stand, and took responsibility for it like a man should.

P.P.S I know i don’t have 100% clarity about it being my child but we will do a check once it is born. The mom(Lin) understands that i need the certainty. According to her I’ve been the only guy she had sex since she broke up with her boyfriend in march. I must say i trust her in this matter. She is not unknown amongst my friends(people I trust as much as i would my own parents) which is why i am sure she is not lying to me.

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One Night Stand Dad 2 years 11 months ago #77892

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Hi and welcome to the forum

It must be quite a shock but you are right to face up to it and it's understandable how you are feeling.

You will have quite a long time to get used to the idea as you've found out quite early on about the situation.

I don't have direct experience of what you're going through but sure some of our other members have and will be along to comment.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

One Night Stand Dad 2 years 11 months ago #77916

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Last Edit: by paulpaul.

One Night Stand Dad 2 years 1 month ago #85175

well now it is probably late to talk you about protection when having one night stands... I understand your feelings and hope you and her will be happy in future what ever solution you choose, so I wish you best!

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Last Edit: by Mojo.

One Night Stand Dad 2 years 1 month ago #85177

Do you intend to get together as a couple, live together, get married?

It's hard to give advice without knowing where your relationship is going in the future - will you stay separate and just see your child every now and then?

Either way, you're being very responsible and I commend you for that. A lot of guys in that situation would just run. I hope you can see that a new child is going to enter the world and it will need both parents. Being a parent is one of the best experiences you will ever have - it will be hard work, there will be dirty nappies and crying and sleepless nights and that's just the start. But it is the most rewarding experience you will ever have. Teaching your baby to walk, talk, enjoy the world, it's fun.

Make the most of it - it will change you so much that you hardly recognise yourself, but it will be worth every single second.

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One Night Stand Dad 11 months 2 weeks ago #94206

Well, I am sharing your opinion Paul_6611 ...

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One Night Stand Dad 9 months 2 weeks ago #95362

Hi Paul - I have just landed in a pretty much identical situation but with a girl from Uganda. Would be great to hear how you have handled it if possible.
Cheers, Sam

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