Hey all, only just found this site after 12 years of parenting.
I’m 36 and Ive been separated for 8 months and have a 12 year old boy. Since becoming single I have been thinking about having ‘the snip’ as to have another child would massively change the relationship with my boy and if I’m honest a new baby isn’t something I actually want.
None of my friends have children so it’s difficult for them to have an opinion and talk to, so talking to you guys instead. Any thoughts are welcome.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you look at all the possible scenarios that may present themselves to you in the future. If having done that and you remain feeling the same as you do now, your decision will be based on having an open mind, therefore being aware of all the pros and cons. I believe you cannot do more than that when making your decision.
What I would do as a precautionary measure having decided to go ahead with a vasectomy is to enquire of the doctor if at anytime in the future it could be reversed. It is surprising how life changes also our feelings over the years. What we feel at present may not be how we feel in a few years time.
Vasectomies can be reversed - I've had a vasectomy, a reversal and another vasectomy so I'm speaking from experience that a reversal can be successful. However, the longer the time after the reversal, the less chance of it being successful as (so far as I understand it), the body starts to produce antibodies to the sperm. Another option is to have sperm frozen before you have a vasectomy - I believe the expected life of frozen sperm is about 10 years, and there's no guarantee that it will be successful, and there is only a limited supply when you come to use it.
Otherwise, it's a simple choice. You may be betters waiting until you meet someone special and talking it through with her, before going ahead with this decision.
It is best to be sure it's what you want, before going forward, as reversal doesn't always work, that said I do know of a few people who have had the reversal and had children afterwards.
Also it's worth looking into the option, as there are newer proceedures now that are said to be less painful with a quicker recovery, look up scalpeless, there are lots of private companies doing this and it's not hugely expensive, you can also get refered from NHS for some too.