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TOPIC: It can't be all bad....can it?

It can't be all bad....can it? 3 months 1 week ago #90777

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Hi all,

New member and Dad-to-be in October.

My wife is at 11 weeks pregnant which we're delighted about as we've been trying to get pregnant for 4 years and this is our 5th round of IVF.

Our family and close friends obviously know the process we've been going through and recently we've shared the news that my wife is finally pregnant and everything's looking positive. I've been struck by the number of people who've congratulated us then followed this with a huge amount of doom and gloom about how bad it is being a parent: lack of sleep, no money, stress/worry, not knowing what you're doing etc etc. I really thought the majority of what we'd hear would be positive and, although it's mostly done tongue-in-cheek, it's made me feel anxious already at the prospect of what's to come thanks to all the negative comments.

Has anyone else experienced this? Do any fathers here have any advice, and can anyone share some positive experiences to help my panicking mind?!

Many thanks, in advance, for any comments.

Tom

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It can't be all bad....can it? 3 months 1 week ago #90784

It’s true that it is difficult, but it’s worth it. You’ll have lots of good moments to look forward to, it’s not just doom and gloom.

The first time your baby smiles at you, their first words,when they start playing, etc etc.

As you asked for advise, I would say, get involved as much as possible and share the parental leave with your wife, don’t let her take it all.

Some ideas to consider, go to the antenatal appointements and the scans, talk to your baby while he/she is inside mom, find support from other parents.

If you can afford it, work less and spend more time with your child, they will only be small for a short amount of time, and when it’s gone it will never come back.

Congratulations and hope the pregnancy goes well.
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It can't be all bad....can it? 3 months 1 week ago #90787

Hi There,
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Congratulations, it sounds as though its been a long journey,
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The easiest answer to this is look around you family and friends, how many of them have more than one child, if things were that bad would they have had a 2nd or 3rd child?
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I have a 14 year son and a 14 year old stepson and we are now expecting a baby in September, it can be hard and money can be tight but there are so many more positives than there are lows.
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GTTS
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It can't be all bad....can it? 3 months 1 week ago #90798

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I agree about the stress, doom and gloom, money etc, but it is all still worth it.
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It can't be all bad....can it? 3 months 1 week ago #90803

Forget about the stress worries late nights ect that people are saying about, every child is different my first well I’m sorry but she was so easy didn’t know we had her virtually slept from day one we thought what was the worrying about... but sadly my second didn’t really sleep always cried and was like this for over 2 years that was tough....

We are still here 18 years later and the worries are still here lol but different....

My late mum said I was still a worry to her even when I turned 39 lol

Everything will happen when it happens and you will instinctively know how to cope be there for your wife and share everything good and bad use grandparents sometimes to take time out with your wife quality time...

Parenting is a big responsibility but an amazing journey to go on... nothing I don’t think compares to it.. to see a baby that you both have created for the first time is a feeling that you will never of had in your life

Just relax and enjoy my friend and congratulations to you and your wife.. everything will be fine
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It can't be all bad....can it? 3 months 1 week ago #90808

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Thank you so much to everyone who's commented here.

It's really good to hear the positive experiences.

I think we know it's going to be hard work but I needed a bit of reassurance that I wasn't going to go insane (all the time!).

I think this forum is great BTW. A really helpful source of info.

Looking forward to any more comments.

Tom

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