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TOPIC: Having issues with feelings

Having issues with feelings 4 weeks 10 hours ago #97930

Didn’t know where to post this, first time really discussing any of these feelings but i am 19 in England, me and my girlfriend for pregnant by accident after a few months together and we’ve had ups and downs through the pregnancy. As of recently I’ve just been very miserable just hating my day job in sales, not feeling overally happy about being a father. Even starting to question myself on what I want in life, I obviously still love my girlfriend very much and she has been very supportive the last weeks but I get these really bad feelings towards the baby who is due at the end of June. Is it natural to start to resent my life and start to just give up on everything, can’t even hide how miserable I’ve been the last few weeks as people in the hosue we live in are starting to notice and it’s worrying my girlfriend who I don’t want to be stressed

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Having issues with feelings 4 weeks 7 hours ago #97931

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Hi there

Don’t worry where you post, if it needs to be moved we can take care of that anyway. The important thing is that you’re talking about how you feel, which is a good first step!

Without wanting to offend you, you're still very young to have such a huge responsibility thrust upon you... an unplanned pregnancy is a very big deal for someone of your age... it’s no wonder that you’re finding the prospect of fatherhood hard to deal with.

Becoming a parent for the first time can be daunting for men that have been in a relationship for a lot longer, what you’re feeling is absolutely natural and many others have felt the same way... full of self doubt and fear for the future.

It’s great that your partner is supportive, as no doubt she will have the same fears and doubts. It’s important that you talk to her about how you feel, bottling it up isn’t a good idea.

Perhaps you could talk to your GP about how you’re feeling, it might be that you can be offered some counselling... if you’re depressed, even a short course of anti depressants might help too.

How about your family? Is there anyone that you can confide in... my own son broke down to me when he was 19, when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant, he had been planning to break up and move back home, when she dropped the bombshell.

He had many of the same feelings as you through the pregnancy, but when he witnessed the birth of his son and took him in his arms for the first time, everything changed for him. He stayed with her for over a year after the birth, but they couldn’t make it work. He’s a fantastic Dad and has custody of his boy now, and couldn’t imagine a life without him.

It’s really good that you’ve looked for somewhere to speak out about how you feel and hopefully it will be the beginning of getting back on track.

All the best
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dannydedad

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Having issues with feelings 4 weeks 7 hours ago #97932

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Just to mention, I’ve deleted your other post, it’s not a good idea to have two identical posts running on two separate threads, it can get a bit confusing!

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Having issues with feelings 4 weeks 6 hours ago #97933

Thank you for responding. All of this has really calmed me down I guess I’m just really scared of going from zero responsibilities to having this little man to look after and care for. I’m going to talk to my gp and see what can be done because I don’t want this to affect others around me or my work.
Me and my mother are quite close so I’ll probably have a talk with her about it and she had me at a similar age of 16, for me right now I just see around me so Much I could of had and how hard I worked to get into uni and I’m very resentful for it to be taken away. Like your son I know I’ll have the exact same change of heart when my little guy is born I think after trying to be strong for so long and keep putting on a fake smile has really taken its toll
Thank you for all the advice

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Having issues with feelings 4 weeks 6 hours ago #97934

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I think it’s a good idea to talk to your mother about how you’re feeling, she will be supportive and I’m sure she can reassure you and help you to realise that you’re not alone.

Life throws us curved balls and we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t panic and feel overwhelmed, but we can and do surprise ourselves, no matter how scary it seems at first... I’m sure you will step up when the time comes and be a great Dad to your little man.

Not everything goes to plan, don’t think of an opportunity as being taken away, you haven’t missed it, you just have to find another way to get to it. I’m sure if you set yourself new goals you will achieve them, you have time!

I have a great deal of respect for you and the way you have recognised you have a problem, and have been brave enough to open up and ask for help... you’re stronger than you realise.

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DadTalk Moderator...

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I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

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