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TOPIC: advice from all you dads please...

advice from all you dads please... 5 years 1 week ago #44778

  • ceejay
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my babys dad has recently walked out on us and has disowned his stepson he only wants to see his 2 year old daughter with his girlfriend and at his girlfriends house who hes moved in with.he says hes going to make my life so hard that i end up killing myself and he hopes i get cancer and die a slow painfull death,can anyone explain to me why he only wants to see his daughter with her , why hes speaking to me like this and why hes disowned my son who has autism since hes got with his new girlfriend coz im lost and confused ...please anybody?

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advice from all you dads please... 5 years 1 week ago #44797

Sorry to hear of your situation,

It seems like you are very confused with all this at the moment
It must be a very difficult and emotional time ,

Sadly i think when people have taken on step children they do not feel the same responsibility if the relationship ends, not all , over on the legal board a guy is going to court to get access for his daughter and step child,
In this situation the father is being unreasonably nasty,

You need to keep evidence of this as if you need to formal arrangement in the future then it’s best to have these behaviour recorded , text message screen shots etc

You could say to your ex you will offer him contact but as your daughter is very young feel that it may need to be a progressive introduction to the new girlfriend, is there a family member where he can see your daughter?
Please do not feel bullied into things , i do agree children need both parents but if this is met with him demanding and not compromising etc you may need to go to mediation to see if this can be resolved,
Keep calm and remember any form of abuse to keep a record of it etc

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Started the Court process at the beginning of the year (2014) applied for full residency.

Acting as Litigant in person - Over the Moon
All my children now under one roof forever

Final Order Dec 2014 Full Residency to Father

advice from all you dads please... 5 years 1 week ago #44798

  • DaveR
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Hi Ceejay,

It sounds like he is very angry and selfish for whatever reason.

Unfortunately there is little you can do to change his behaviour as it is he who is responsible for that but you can change yours.

Dont let what he says get to you, get as much help and support around you as is possible and love the children with all your heart.

He is entitled to see his the child you had together and it is best, usualy, for that to be the case as long as there are no safegaurding issues.

With regards to his stepson, he cannot be forced to be a part of his life. Did he adopt your son or get parental responsability?

He may only wish to see your son with his new girlfriend for a number of reasons I guess. Scared he cannot do it himself, show off, I dont know.

Be strong and get as much support as you can and visit here for advice and support.

With regards to finding a way forward have you considered inviting him for mediation to discuss things?

Regards,

Dave

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advice from all you dads please... 5 years 1 week ago #45001

  • actd
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There may well be some influence from his new girlfriend - she will understand that he wants to see his own child, but if he sees his stepson, she may see that as him wanting to keep up ties with you, so it may be insecurity on her part, or it could be simply selfishness.

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advice from all you dads please... 5 years 6 days ago #45357

Hi,

Best advice i could give is to everything you can to get everything in writing and talk to people about it. Do your best not to sink to his level and try and harden yourself to his assaults.

Personally, i find this behavior disgusting. Not only is he giving up on a child with special needs he is damaging the image good fathers are desperately trying to make the courts see.

I wish you luck on going,

Vaz

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