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TOPIC: Lets all just be honest. eh?

Lets all just be honest. eh? 5 years 3 months ago #59950


I am new! I just found this web site. Shame really I think I could of been some help to other fathers and their advice is definitely needed - Sop if you don't mind lets all just be honest.

So I am expecting to go to court on the 9th, I'm going on my own. The issue is Child arrangement order. The break up tore me apart, Lost my job, signed the house over to her never took a penny even refused 1 third of the total amount of the credit card she ran up. I have burden my self with all them bills to relief her but mainly MY SON from that debt. She got everything but my cloths but I am fine with all that. So I guess I am trying to explain what type of person I am here.

At the same time I got a new job after months of been upset having to deal with her non contractual agreement of contact/access and visit (I hate using them words) --- Al I asked for was nothing more simple the flexibility yet grounded by her terms and regime wasn't to difficult it was that I had no say at all when I could see him,

For example if I text her today and say hey can I come by and pick Samuel I am going to take him to the park (Even when I know she hasn't made plans) I am refused as its her time to bond with him,. She take 2 days a week of and wants a weekend day also. Its not that bad however it hurts if I say look I want my boy next weekend or such and such date where going to my mothers where his cousins and that will be there or anywhere, that is also denied.

Then at the same time we don't not get along at all, I mean I want to I still want her back for some daft reason, I mean who wouldn't want to grew up with there family. 9 out of ten cat turned on me, When I drop him of my requests have no respect, My opinion is lost from when it passes my lips, My concerns and my Curiosity of my sons well been are replied in as little as few words through text, Believe it or not I hate paper work, I am dyslexic and I do have trouble writing and reading, Everything has to be done by text.

So over the last year, I have sent her message after message after message and more messages, Asking about my son, trying to come to agree to a contract arrangement but that can still be miss-understood, Message and message and message is me justifying myself defending my self and trying to ask why and the what and how and when, her short message can be upsetting and leave me down, fed up and she now using my altitude my personality as a lever after not restraining my opinion on her after I receive some thing that's deogarity or upsetting, Its never ending twisiting circule that's got to the point where it just need to stop from both side yet it continues and she twisting the system and using her mothers probation skills and her nursery's nursery work as a lever to get what she wants, I still don't know what she wants

I am afraid and worried its got to the point where I will have to quit working away to see my son and more so that she is going to take him away from me completely. The problem is she isn't give my any say at all and she uses my son as ransom..

On another note, she hasn't seen how well me and my son get on and how much of a good time we have, ... I guess this is just me venting off but if you want to leave some advice or seek further information just ask maybe you can help me....

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Last Edit: by SeanSmith86.

Lets all just be honest. eh? 5 years 3 months ago #60109

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Hi and welcome. Thanks for the offer of help, there are plenty on here who look for advice, and also are here to give advice if you need any help. :)

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Lets all just be honest. eh? 5 years 3 months ago #60392

Hi mate,

Sorry to hear this. Sounds almost identical to my situation. Ex-wife is happy using our children as a weapon and she's not putting them first.

I, like you, wanted my ex back for a long time. We did share some good times including creating two brilliant boys who, if I am honest, I am lost without.

But then I remember why we are not together and everything settles down in my head.

If you ever need a chat give me a shout. Feels good to let off steam sometimes.

Take it easy!

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Lets all just be honest. eh? 5 years 3 months ago #60398

Hi SeanSmith86,

Welcome to DAD. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I can imagine how painful this is for you.

Feel free to vent as much as you like.

I'm sorry that you are having to go to court to arrange contact with Samuel but it is great that you haven't given up and are pushing on with this.

You sound like a very dedicated dad, Samuel is a lucky boy.

How long have you and your ex been separated?

Keep talking


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