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TOPIC: MIL hassles

MIL hassles 1 year 2 months ago #92831

Bit of background. SIL is a nightmare - wife doesn't get on with her either - never got a good word to say about anyone.

MIL is generally a nice lady but is VERY gullible and take on board anything anyone says to her.

In the past its caused problems because SIL whispers in her ear and she changes. MIL has admitted in the past.

Anyway, I recently dealt with an insurance claim for MIL. Spent ages getting it sorted, got extra payout etc. Just getting paid. First payment of £1400 already done, spoke to MIL few days ago, said the rest £1000 was being transferred to my account this week (we agreed at beginning to do this because it was easier) and I'd transfer to her at some point. All good.

So wife and sister had a bit of disagreement yesterday about something. Which meant SIL got forced to take MIL somewhere when she didn't want to do it.

Literally, 15 mins after MIL got home she phoned me in work. Wants to know where the money is and why is it taking so long because she needs it and wants to make sure I don't forget about it.

Its just so obvious that SIL has said something to her and shes taken this on board. She'd actually seen my wife in the morning and not said anything (when she could have said can you ask me to let her know when I get chance)

Really disappointed in MIL after what I've done for her. Can't understand why she has to swayed like this..... Jeez.

Next time I probably won't help out with the claim. I only did it this time because her other kids are so useless it would never get done and I felt sorry for her.

Do I have a point?

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MIL hassles 1 year 2 months ago #92834

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If it were me I would get the money moved over post haste... with a gentle admonishment about only having her best interests at heart... Money and relatives can be a very toxic mix!

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

MIL hassles 1 year 2 months ago #92835

Mojo wrote: If it were me I would get the money moved over post haste... with a gentle admonishment about only having her best interests at heart... Money and relatives can be a very toxic mix!


Thing is, and I told her this, the insurance company only told me on Friday they were sending the money and it would "take a few days". She knew this.

I didnt plan to check every hour because I don't have time. I checked last night and it got in my account Tuesday so one day. Its sent now of course.

But I basically got accused of either A) Keeping hold of the money or B) Not bothering to sort it out.

Its just so annoying because of all the time and effort I've put into this for her.

Its sad a bit because, lets just say, I'm really not going to be keen next time to get involved if I get hassle because of it.

To be honest, it works against her. All shes done is prove to us that she can be really inconsiderate and rude because she listens too much to what people say to her.

She'd been OK recently and wife and I were talking about whether to invite her on holidays with us in a few months time. Because of this its highlighted what she can be like so wife is now thinking twice......

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Last Edit: by paulfoel.

MIL hassles 1 year 2 months ago #92896

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I think, aside from this, if your wife doesn't get on with her, then the thought of inviting her on holiday sounds like a recipe for disaster, and certainly would mean that you'd be on edge for the whole of the holiday. I would take the opportunity to have a nice time with your wife, and deal with anything like this in the future as it happens, and don't let it worry you now.

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MIL hassles 1 year 2 months ago #92919

actd wrote: I think, aside from this, if your wife doesn't get on with her, then the thought of inviting her on holiday sounds like a recipe for disaster, and certainly would mean that you'd be on edge for the whole of the holiday. I would take the opportunity to have a nice time with your wife, and deal with anything like this in the future as it happens, and don't let it worry you now.


Wife and her mother have a strange relationship. Within days wife is ranting about her mother usually!

BUT, its her mother after all and the kids love her to bits to be honest..... And shes really good to the kids...

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MIL hassles 1 year 2 months ago #92929

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Ah the old mother/daughter relationship... sometimes it can be a bit of a love hate relationship!

I'd let the dust settle and see what's what when you come to book. As long as you have your own space on holiday, it's probably doable, and as you say the kids would love her to go I'm sure... not to forget you'd have a ready made babysitter.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

MIL hassles 1 year 2 months ago #92978

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I love my mother to bits, and we get on very well, but I still wouldn't go on holiday with her these days. :)

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