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TOPIC: Stressful Ex

Stressful Ex 2 months 1 week ago #92995

  • LiamH28
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Hi
People probably use to me posting in here every month or so, but long story short my ex left my son to live with her mother while she went to live in another part of the country, after months of court and being told my son was settled etc, they agreed to have him reside with myself,
so current order is, Sun 6pm - Fri 3pm with me, weekend with Mum and Nan... Mum now resides 2 hr drive away from were he lives.

on occasions my sons been invited to partys and holidays of a weekend so i give plenty of notice an offer days back during my time for them to make up time back..

My ex is starting well not starting always has been a problem...

She keeps wanting to speak to my son every night constantly asking for her mum and sister to take him out, and when she calls its pointless and always promising my son toys etc at the weekend so hes unsettled then in my care..

My current partners not happy i keep getting txt everyday when its not important.. any advice?

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Stressful Ex 2 months 1 week ago #92996

Hi There,

It may be worth getting a cheap pay as you go phone, and telling her that is the one to call, then block her on your main phone, you can then set out when she is able to make contact, and leave that phone off until those times.

GTTS

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Stressful Ex 2 months 1 week ago #93012

  • LiamH28
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Thanks for advice she wants to go to mediation again even though theres a court order when she didnt turn up last time, court order says both willing to be flexible, my idea of that is if we need to swap days etc thats fair
her idea is call when she wants and visits when she wants? so frustrating

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Stressful Ex 2 months 1 week ago #93015

  • Mojo
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Hi there

Perhaps mediation might be the right place to explain to her that daily random contact is unsettling for your son, perhaps try to agree set times in the week when she can call, maybe a mid week call before bedtime. The same with the constant requests for her family to take him out when he's at school, tell them that during the week it's your time with him, as it is you don't have weekend contact at all, so you're missing out on quality weekend time, to a certain extent.

I think you just have to firm with them, you're the parent with care and you have a right not to have constant disruption to your family life.

As GTTS has said a good way to disconnect from the constant interference is to have a separate phone for them, you are then taking back control, it's up to you to,decide when you check it and when you respond.

All the best

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Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!

Stressful Ex 2 months 1 week ago #93034

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I wonder whether you should simply stick to the order, and allow calls at defined times on defined days, and keep a copy of that agreement, and a diary of when she calls. If she isn't happy with that, then she can apply for mediation, rather than you running around to accommodate her whims. If she is more reliable, then you can extend the calls if you wish.

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