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TOPIC: My ex wife is stopping me seeing my son

My ex wife is stopping me seeing my son 5 years 6 months ago #61765

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I have been divorced for 5 years, and my ex wife is now stopped me seeing my son, after I walk out on her after finding out she had a affair with a gambler and frauded our home etc feed his habits,
Any way I was living in same town as my son only 5 min drive away , the court issued me a order were I could have our son 2 nights aweek , our son at time was only 3 years old , this continued for long time , then I had changed jobs so my hours changed so could only have our son 1 night aweek, so I stayed in same town for 5 years to be near our son
Feb this year I moved back to my home town which is 89 miles away reason of my move was for many reasons but I seen it for best thing to do so found a job mon to fri so now got weekends free were before I had work weekends so was seeing our son every other fortnight
Then Ex wife said she booked our son for rugby which is every Sunday and Cubs every fri night not even asking she say tuff , she only doing this she knows I can't see our son
So during Christmas she text saying he has party's etc so I agreed as I don't want our son to miss out after Christmas this continues for 7 weeks so I phoned her told her this is enough I need our time so was agreed I pick up our son for Saturday morning so I traveled 89 miles to collect our son he got his bags in car we set off 10 mins down road I heard my phone go so pulled over ex wife texted me saying Harry has to be back in swindon for 9am for rugby and I got take Harry else were in town for photos , ex wife never said any of this on phone so tryed phone her she didn't answer so got our son phone to ask if any of this is important she said yes so I had take our son back to his grandads , she dictating our time so sat 9am we would had to leave 7 am it's unreal
So I gad right go at her father as he being idot having go at me ex wife no were to be seen
Now she not answer or replying to phone what can I do I earn to much for legal aid but were I pay my rent and bills I not got enough to take it to court to get order changed ive not spent time with our son in 11 weeks only half hour

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My ex wife is stopping me seeing my son 5 years 6 months ago #61770

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I'll ask CCLC to pop on and give some advice on this with regards to mediation, enforcement or a variation on your existing order.
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My ex wife is stopping me seeing my son 5 years 6 months ago #61786

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Other than trying to agree with the mother directly, the only other options are mediation or a further application to court and CCLC will be able to give detailed advice.

My partner's ex tried to do this with dance lessons, birthday parties etc and they have about the same distance between the homes. Sadly, their case ended up in court and the judge decided in favour of the alternate weekend contact.

To pre empt the mother's arguments we looked into the clubs and lessons ourselves and found sessions that ran midweek rather than weekends and put this in the court bundle as evidence. My partner also offered to swap weekends or spend some of their time in the child's area when special birthday parties were happening.
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Mum and Step Mum, supporting my partner through the Family Court maze. I feel passionately about children having a right to a relationship with both parents and am currently in training to be an MF.

My ex wife is stopping me seeing my son 5 years 6 months ago #61791

Dear Pot Luck

Many thanks for your post.

Firstly, as you were married to the mother of your son, you have Parental Responsibility for him. Parental Responsibility is defined in s.3(1) Children Act 1989 as being: "all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property".

Practically Parental Responsibility means that both parties should consult and consent on issues such as schooling, medical issues, change of name, removal from the jurisdiction and other major issues concerning the child.

The first option we would suggest is attending mediation to try and resolve the matter without attending court. Mediation is a process involving you, the mother and a trained professional third party mediator coming together to try and resolve the issue without the need to go to court. Under new legislation mediation is mandatory and you will need to attempt this before going to court. For more information on mediation and for help organising this you can contact National Family Mediation on 03004000636.

As there is an existing court order in place you have two options on how to proceed if mediation does not successful.

The first option is to enforce the Order that is currently in place. It would then be down to the court to decide based on the evidence put before them whether a breach of the Order has occurred and if so whether to put any sanctions on the mother. Sanctions can range from a reminder of the terms of the order, to a fine, and in severe cases a custodial sentence or community service.

If you wish to make this application the form you require is a C79 which is available from www.justice.gov.uk . There is a fee for this application which you will need to check with the courts however if you are eligible for a fee remission or exemption you will need to complete form EX160a available from the same website.

The other option you have is to make an application for a variation of the current order. This application would be asking the court to look at your proposals for a change to the order in place. You can put down in your application the difficulties that have arisen together with your proposals for the future. Your ex wife would then be able to put forward her proposals and the courts would make their decision based in the best interests of your son.

To make this application you would need to complete a form C100 which is downloadable from the same website as mentioned above. Again there is a fee for making this application but you can complete a fee exemption form if applicable.

When the courts are making their decision they will base this around the welfare checklist as detailed below:


• Childs physical, emotional and educational needs.
• Effect of any change on the child.
• The age, sex and background of the child.
• Any harm which the child has suffered or may suffer.
• How capable each parent is of meeting the Childs needs.

The courts also consider contact to be in the best interests of the child unless any welfare concerns are shown.
Should you require any assistance please do not hesitate to contact our free legal advice line available Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm on 0808 8020 008.
Yours sincerely

CORAM CHILDRENS LEGAL CENTRE
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Coram Children's Legal Centre
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