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TOPIC: life

life 1 month 4 days ago #101635

Hey guys,

This is the first time I’ve ever posted a topic, I’ve recently separated from my wife of 8 years, we have a 4 year girl and a 2 year old so . We both share PR, I see both my children from a Friday to a Monday morning when I dropped them off at school and nursery. My wife is an Australian and has mentioned a few times she would love nothing better than to move back, she currently has both kids passports, I’ve involved a solicitor requesting she allows me to have one passport as I believe she could be a potential flight risk, she still has not after 5 weeks receiving the email relinquished one, any thoughts on how to progress this matter?

Also can anyone offer some straight up no BS advice on how to raise your children as a single dad with mental health- ADHD/ASD, I’m struggling, I hate the fact I’m going through this separation but I literally feel alone, it’s upsetting and heartbreaking, thoughts of anxiety and constantly doubting myself and my ability as a father, the thought that how I react if she (ex) meets someone else how will I react? How would I feel about another man being in my kids lives? Will they see him as dad?

Any advice and support would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Andrew

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Last Edit: by AndrewRobinson.

life 1 month 4 days ago #101640

Have you looked in to a Prohibited steps order? If you have PR, i believe it is illegal for your wife to take the children out of the country without your consent if the children are under the age of 16. .

With regards to your concerns about your ex getting a new partner, I do not know what to suggest, other than just continue to be the dad you are to them. I worry about this too, but i saw my children recently for the first time in months and they did not forget how i am, or forget that I was their dad. they are 5 and 2 years old. Just assure them that you will always be there for them, no one will ever replace you as their father. I will hate to see my kids being looked after by another man, but I know it will happen , but I know they love me and always will. After our separation, I felt really low and felt i had let people down. I had a short course of CBT and it really helped, you might want to investigate this yourself maybe?

Good luck with it all!!

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life 1 month 4 days ago #101644

hi Andrew,

ferfer made good suggestion with the Prohibited steps order. use solicitor and fight it as she will likely just take the kids and move to australia. then you will have to spend a fortune to fly over there when you want to see your kids.

as for you worrying about your ex getting a new partner, I would advise you to focus on yourself & seeing your children and move on with your own life. if she can get another partner, why can't you?

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Last Edit: by Bill337.

life 1 month 3 days ago #101669

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Hi - definitely consider applying for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent her moving abroad. Do note that Australia is part of the Hague Convention though and she can't just up and leave, she would likely be brought back.

In respect of coping with the emotional side - I have some understanding of ADHD/ASD and appreciate all your emotions are heightened. CBT may or may not help. It would depend on what the counsellor understands about ADHD emotional / nervous system.

Do you have an ADHD nurse? Perhaps look at joining an adult ADHD group on facebook or looking for a support group in your local area. You'll probably find people with the same condition will have a better understanding.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.
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