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TOPIC: Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu

Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu 4 years 1 month ago #68423

I am splitting up from partner and arguing about how to keep the kids and her in the house whilst she either tries to buy me out of the mortgage. I am still living in the family home and its been seven weeks since she decided to end it. We keep falling out about the equity in the house and have had two estate agencys value the property at quite a good price, but now she has gone to the mortgage lenders/bank of which they have said without viewing the property that its not worth as much and have gone on other houses that have sold in and around the area. Our house has more outside space and other attributes that these houses do not have. She is wanting to go on the word of the bank/mortgage lenders value instead of estate agents of which came to view the house. Obviously the reason why is to not have to give me as much equity money as well as a 60/40 split. but i wanted to see what other people thought. Also we came up with the idea of maintance for our two kids that are stuck in the middle of this, i keep around have of my equity in the house which comes to the amount of ten years worth of maintance until the kids are 18. This way she doesn't have to sell the house and unsettle the kids schooling and friends to go to another part of the country back home and i haven't got to struggle to find monthly maintance money as she will have it in the equity. I haven't vot much to live on at all and yes i do work. I do think the 60/40 % is far to much. I will be having the kids 2-3 days/nights a week. She also earns a lot more than me. I am doing this to be able to live a half normal life and be able to do the odd day out with kids. She has said alot more but i think i have said enough. Sorry. First time I've put anything on here and first ever message on Dads Info.

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Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu 4 years 1 month ago #68437

  • Yoda
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Hi and welcome to the forum

I'm sorry to read your post, it must be a very difficult time for all of you, especially as you're all living in the same house.

It might be worth contacting your local CAB, they will hold lists of local solicitors, many of whom may offer free 30 minute consultations. If you ring round a few to ascertain your legal position on the finances you should be able to get a more clear idea of how to move forward.

It's also worth considering looking at a Parenting Plan to decide on how you will deal with things for your children.

dadinfo.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk/home#getStarted

Good luck and keep posting and we will try to support you.
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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu 4 years 1 month ago #68471

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OK, two issues here.

Firstly, between the two valuations (estate agency and the bank), realistically how much difference financially will it make to you? Bear in mind, that if you fight it out using a solicitor, then you could be looking at a few thousand extra in legal costs, so if the equity difference is only a few thousand, then it's better to compromise (and there's no guarantee that a court would accept the estate agents figures - they may go somewhere between those and the banks).

With regards to the maintenance, under no circumstances should you come to an agreement that she keeps equity on the basis that you don't pay maintenance, because 12 months after the court settlement has happened, your ex can go to the CMS and open a case, and they'll assess you on your income and will totally disregard the fact that you gave up equity, so you'll lose the equity and still have to pay the maintenance. Work on the basis that you will have to pay maintenance at the CSA rate, because that's what you will have to pay whatever is agreed in court.
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Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu 4 years 1 month ago #68484

Hi Millington, you are in exactly the same place as myself, however I am in the position of being the primary carer and will be having the majority of the time with the kids which has fortunately taken Maintenance payments to her off the table for now, but the equity on the house is the current big issue and causing the most pain.

I am in the position of wanting to buy her out so I can stay in the house with the kids, she wants 100% of the positive equity on the house, I have offered a 50/50 split of the equity which is more than reasonable, but she is not willing to accept it as it does not give her enough to go and buy a new house of the value that she wants.

I currently earn more than she does, but I have just found out that she has turned down/postponed 2 opportunities for promotion/considerably more pay in the last 2 months until such time that our divorce is finalised......

As stated above it is really important that you dont concede anything to her now with regards the equity or anything else, as it will count for nothing in 12 months time when she changes her mind and comes after you for more.

Take the option to speak with Solicitors the free sessions are a really valuable resource, also it might be worth looking to see if there are any FNF meetings in your area as they can be a really good source of information/help.

Is there any option to have the kids for more nights?
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Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu 4 years 1 month ago #68488

Hi There,
.
I agree 100% with actd, you need to pick your battles, obviousely we don't know the difference in the valuations, but you have to consider the cost of fighting for the larger amount against the loss in revenue if you accepted the lower figure, even after having to pay a solicitor you would still be a few thousand better off it could still be worth accepting the lesser amount as this will wrap things up quicker, often when solicitors get involved the agreements you have already made get thrown out the window as each solicitor wants to get the best deal possible for thier client, so the 60/40 split that has been agreed could easily change to a 70/30 split battle in her favour. If you can keep solicitors out of the battle then you should be better of financially and keep your sanity too.
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Again with regards to maintenance, you need to really pay your ex rather than let her keep extra equity, as actd has said there is nothing stopping her from going to CMS at any point after the 12 months have elapsed.
,
GTTS
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Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu 4 years 1 month ago #68612

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I have agreed on a 55-45 split on the equity and a compromise of the valuations. But the maintance issue still lingers. I understand what you all are saying about my ex coming back for more and i have seen a solicitor. They seem to think with it written up in an agreement which would be taken to a solicitor to go through and both parties signiture on , it would be very difficult for her to change. This is the only way for me to afford a flat to rent as well as keep kids in same house and town. How can this be done without the kids having to be unsettled and me not having to find maintance money so i can rent a normal one bed flat for them to visit. The kids have been through enough heartache in the past. Again thank you for the advise and i will look into them. Done c.a.b and they were crap. And yes I'm still in the house but hopefully not for long now.

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Splitting up with partner and sorting finance issu 4 years 1 month ago #68687

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I'll re-iterate, even if you get a court order signed by everyone including the court saying that you give her equity in exchange for paying no maintenance, in 12 months time she can go to the CMS and ask them to open a case, and you will be assessed purely on what you earn - the court order and agreement will count for absolutely nothing and there will be nothing you can do except pay the maintenance as ordered by the CMS.
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