Separated with the wife 6 months ago, two kids 11 & 9. Neither of us has made any moves towards divorce yet.
I moved into my own place. I'm paying half the mortgage on the family home plus child maintenance, which comes to £1k a month.
The money bit has been "agreed" informally with no legal involvement, although she complains that she doesn't have enough money for the "extras" for the kids like hobbies, days out etc, which I'm sympathetic about.
I'm also skint and considering moving back in with my mum in 6 months time, as it would effectively save me a grand a month.
If I do this, would she have a case for wanting more money off me because my living costs would be reduced?
I'm giving her the exact amount as recommended on the gov.uk website based on my earnings. Advice gratefully received.
i would say do what you can to save more money, if it means you have to move in with parents. sounds like things are quite civil between you and the ex, so try keep it that way, especially in terms of money. do you have any plans to buy her out, get half the equity on the house?
I don’t have any thoughts regarding the future of the house at the moment. I don’t want to uproot the kids (plus it’s still early doors) so I’m paying half the mortgage at the moment, although more than one person I know has asked me why I’m doing this, and that if she can’t afford it by herself then we ought to sell it. That doesn’t really sit right with me though.
If you go for a divorce, don't put child maintenance in the divorce, leave that with CMS (in fact, I'd open a case with them so that she can't open one without your knowing and then claim you aren't paying - it's happened a lot of times), let your ex know you are doing it, and that she'll get the same amount of money.
Would also be worth maintaining your stake in the house if you are continuing to pay half, with a proviso that if it's sold, you get your share, and equally she buys you out or sells when your youngest reaches, say, 21, or if she remarries.
I understand this, and make sure you get plenty of advice here, but your viewpoint will get you nowhere IMO.
The court is likely to rule your ex keeps the house for a varying period of time and at significant expense to you and upon selling is is likely to get more than half. A divorce means the severance of the bonds you had when you were married, these include financial.
By asking her to agree to a sale in a polite way, you're probably not going to do any harm.
Just by way of comparison, I paid the joint mortgage for 2 years solo, she did her best to sabotage her career, got awarded a deferred sale (2 years), 70% share from the sale and I pay half the mortgage until then - nowhere was my good behaviour in not halting mortgage payments rewarded or compensated. I give this example not so people can play their violins (and I think I'm in a better situation than many), but just to show you that the courts are inherently biased to the mothers and that the process is a scam (they award custody to the mother almost always, then from that your resources are significantly given to the mother).