Hi everyone just new to site and looking for some general guidance
Been separated 2 year and divorce absolute is currently in process awaiting court finalisation. Apparently 12 week process. We haven't included child care/custody in the divorce as we agreed from the outset that we would split the nights 50/50.
However their is certain things regarding the child care that I require guidance on before I go to mediation. My ex partner will not pay any child care for the children for pre school and after school. My ex partner works shifts and I work around her shift's to accommodate her. she doesn't have a shift pattern with working for the NHS its basically done every 6 week and their is no commonality to it. So I tend to have the children when she is at work so I am paying the child care. to me the fairest way is 50/50 but she wont.
My plan at mediation is to have a set timetable for the children so for instance 4 nights with me 4 nights with my EX, which she will not except due to her shift working.
has anyone had a similar experience or any advise off how I could best approach this. I just don't see why I should foot all the bill when she is at work.
The point of mediation is to try to come to some mediated arrangement, but if that can't happen (because there is no agreement) then it goes to court for them to make a ruling.
I assume, at the moment, you are paying child maintenance? If so, I would open a case with CMS quickly (costs £20) to formalise this, and the courts won't then overrule this. This fixes your payment at the CMS level, and you are under no legal obligation to pay any more at all. The court can then set a contact arrangement and you are again, under no obligation to take your children any more than the order states, but of course you can agree between yourselves to do so.
If the children are with you, then any childcare will be your responsibility, but if you can change it so that she has them at certain times, then she is responsible for childcare at those times.
Alternatively, you forget the 50/50, and go for residence (an old term, but the idea is the same) and she pays you maintenance.