TOPIC: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son 7 years 4 weeks ago #20852

Thanks there is no way i would do the dv course a part or it even deals with sexual abuse to your children WTF!! I went off my head with him on the phone after he said check out the course on line and then i will refer you, He really has upset me even putting my name to s*** like that i really dont fancy letting this guy in tomo and if i do im not sure he will walk out lol (joking)

the other thing that is making me suspicious is my ex is being to nice all of a sudden

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Last Edit: by leelondon.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell 7 years 4 weeks ago #20868

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Hi Lee :)

I am so happy you've has a rethink 8) He's a beautiful baby!

Ok, this is my opinion...I would allow him entry but explain to him that as far as you're concerned its just a formality, because you have sorted things out with the mother and you are both ready to move forward with unsupervised contact. Be calm and reasonable and apologise for being upset, but explain that it was borne out of frustration for being accused of behaviour that you are completely innocent of, namely DV. Explain to him that your ex's behaviour and attitude towards you is now back to normal and has settled down, and that you can only put her emotional state of mind down to the changes that happen during pregnancy and birth. You could say that you feel confident that you are both ready to put all of the unpleasantness behind you and get on with being the best parents that you can be. Tell him you appreciate that he has a job to do and thank him for all his hard work. Believe me flattery gets you everywhere! ;)

I would also ask to meet with the ex to talk things through. Again start by thanking her for giving you such a beautiful son and for allowing you to move forward. Reassure her that he will always come first and you will always be there for them both and hope that you can both work together to give him the very best in life.. Dont forget she is the mum and that means she's going to be a permanent fixture...if you can make friends and get on, it will make everything so much easier.

Maybe give her a call before the SS visit and talk it through, as you seem to think she just wants to get on with things now, she might back up what you're saying. It's their job to make sure that a child is safe and being cared for... so try not to take it all personally. I dont think they can do anything about taking it forward if both parties involved dont want to. Your son isnt at risk and is in a safe and loving environment, the mother doesnt want to take it further, so I think their powers at this point are quite limited.

Good luck with everything Lee and keep us posted! :)

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
Last Edit: by Nannyjane.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell 7 years 4 weeks ago #20872

ex seems a different person we talked many times this week, so i will post what ss say during the visit tomo and what the contract contains.

[img][IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/25s68v7.jpghttp://[/img]

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Last Edit: by leelondon.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS H 7 years 4 weeks ago #20878

i think my access today was a one off im basically s****** just keep cards and write letters to your boy as im doing he will get them one day as mine will
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Last Edit: by leelondon.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell 7 years 4 weeks ago #20886

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Awww Daddys boy, he's absolutely gorgeous! Got tears in my eyes here 8)

Try not to think like that Lee, be positive!
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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell 7 years 4 weeks ago #20950

QUICK UPDATE:

I spoke to the social worker who was going to do a home visit this eve and told him a legal rep would be present he said he didnt want that and it made him feel uncomfortable! i told its my right to have one here if i wish so he told be he wont be attending this eve. . . . .

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Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell 7 years 4 weeks ago #20965

Social services are now requesting that we have a home visit/meeting and home risk assessment all in one at mine this week with my ex, the baby and her parents attending.

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Last Edit: by leelondon.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell 7 years 4 weeks ago #20968

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...I think telling him your legal representative would be in attendance was a master stroke! They're now back peddling!

I also think that this meeting they've arranged at your place, and are calling a risk assessment, is a way of them being able to walk away without as much egg on their face! As i said before, I dont think they've got much control over the situation, as you're all singing from the same hymn sheet now!

Their noses are most likely well out of joint, but wether they have a bad opinion of you or not, they have to behave professionally at all times. Dont forget that their resources are spread really thinly these days, even when there is obvious neglect they are notorious for doing the very least that they have to....theres lots of members here that will agree with that, its been mine and my sons experience too.

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS Hell 7 years 4 weeks ago #20971

i will decline the planed meeting at mine this week, and state if they have any concerns or wish to visit me to put it in writing.

At first my ex said if i cancel the meeting she will stop contact but now shes is saying she wont.

I really have had enough of this and want to stick to my original plan of not having contact and having my pr removed,

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Last Edit: by leelondon.

Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS H 7 years 3 weeks ago #21084

update:

Today ex said ss have said they advise against unsupervised contact and want her to sign an agreement about contact basically letting them take over and arrange/decide what contact should take place. She said shes got to sign.

SS still refusing to do home visit to me if i have legal rep here, but nothing in writing

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Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS H 7 years 3 weeks ago #21089

I know that but by going along with them and playing their game, one minute she is and then shes not shes getting the one thing she desires the most. . . ATTENTION!

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Re: How do i remove my PR from my 9mth son, - SS H 7 years 3 weeks ago #21092

Lee,

This is a difficult one because on one hand I do think you should jump through all the hoops required to gain access to your son, but on the other hand I can also understand that if your ex is doing this sort of thing for the attention it is never going to go away, and can become very draining to live with.

With regards to SS saying she has to sign this is nonsense. Absolute nonsense. The only difficulty is they may be telling her things like
"if she doesnt agree to supervised contact only then she is putting her child at risk, and then they might have to investigate that" Is your ex going to be willing to stand up against SS if they threaten to take action against her?

Why and how do SS feel so strongly that you are a risk to your son that they are going to these lengths to make supervised contact happen?
How did SS get involved in the first place?

If you have got a SS person who is strongly against you, hes not going to just go away, and it can be really difficult to deal with. Your ex cant just choose to uninvolve SS now they are involved unfortunately and if you add to that she is an attention lover you might well have a real problem that could be ongoing for a substantial period of time!

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