i agree, maybe its time to go to solicitor and get a no contact and apply for pr to be removed that was my original plan and post but after members reply's and support Ive been trying to sort it but as you say, there is no real end to this drama and i cant live like this forever.
Its difficult. And the added difficulty is that if you go to court, which is a possible option, SS might well do the reports instead of CAFCASS. However the positives of court action is the SS wouldnt be "in charge of contact" which appears to be what they want, the courts would.
Additonally whilst it is likely you would start with supervised contact, which is what SS want anyway, it is much more likely that it would progress quickly onto unsupervised, and onto decent contact. I think leaving it in the hands of SS / your ex means you will be messing about with this for much longer.
On a positive note, i have known of several cases, where DV has been alleged, but no back up police reports, where contact has gone supervised contact in contact centre - 3 months
supported contact in contact centre - 3 months
During this time the chaps were chomping at the bit, but once supported contact had all gone smoothly and the DV programme & parenting programmes had been done contact very very quickly moved on to full day contact. In a couple of cases, weekly overnights were taking place 4 months after supported contact had finished. Although admitedly in the one i was involved with a newborn, overnights were deemed inapproriate until the child was 2 - but the father was having 1 full day every weekend, and 3 half days/evenings.
There was a meeting with my ex and ss 2 weeks ago and ss are doing everything they can to make her use a contact center for my contact with my son which is something i will never do. there is a meeting in January and they have said if she doesn't use contact center they will start legal proceedings. they wont make it clear if its me they are gonna take to court or if they mean care proceeding for my son, im seeing him tomorrow for 5 hours unsupervised at mine so gonna make the most of it lol.