• Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC: Stopping contact any advice?

Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25115

Hi All,

Not sure if here is the correct place to post?

If there is a court order in place which shares residency Dad has 3 weeks Mum has 1. Mum's was reduced due to emotional abuse. Child is on a child protection plan which has been breached hundreds of times (no exaggeration!) by the mother. Social services on our side, but cannot comment in court next week as our former social services were asked to report.

Social due to see mother tomorrow, our social worker + head SW and their boss due to see mother tomorrow at home. We have stopped contact now, which we know will breach copurt order, but we believe that if the child is at risk we can do so.

Partner is panicking now, we both worried as mum will loose the plot big time when she is told (as she is due half the school holidays also).

Any advice?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25199

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10640
  • Thank you received: 1647
what have children's services said about contact being stopped?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25213

  • Nannyjane
  • Nannyjane's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Nanny knows best!
  • Posts: 5430
  • Thank you received: 1583
...My son has Residency and has also recently suspended contact. If there are sufficient grounds for this, and it is felt the child is at risk, then the court will not act upon any breach of the contact order. My son has kept the mothers solicitor and Social Services informed, and they said he was within his rights as the resident parent to stop contact if he considered his son was at risk. My son has applied to the court for a variance of contact and is asking for supervised contact and no overnight stays. He served the papers on her solicitor about 10 days ago, and we are due in court for the Directions Appointment on 13th March. When my son went to her solicitors and served her the papers, her solicitor counter served with an C79 Enforcement order!

The best of luck for court next week :)
The following user(s) said Thank You: tiredoffighting

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25227

Hi All,

Thanks Nannyjane was hoping you'd input some info! ;)

It was the social worker who "suggested" my partner "could" contact. I say suggested, she could not comment per se, but we read between the lines. She was protecting herself. We had official evidence which meant the suspension didn't come out from the blue. The child has been hugely effected by goings on recently - she finally opened up the SW tonight by telling the SW that basically her mum has been emotionally blackmailing her (she is 9) by saying "Don't tell or write anything bad about me, or else they will stop you from seeing me"....

SW told us on the qt that mother had been warned if her living conditions were not inproved within a week then contact would be suspended.....That came as a shock to us as we don't ever see her house, so to know it was THAT bad, was a shocker. The Guardian has started sniffing around ( a week prior to court and 5 months of nothing!!) she spoke to my partner the other day and he told her that he was stopping contact. Once the SW speaks to the Guardian tomorrow, I think we stand a better chance of getting contact reduced AND supervised. Social are in TOTAL agreement with us - suspended, pending hearing next week, then supervised thereafter.

I hope this does all come to fruition next week, as we've fought "flippin" hard to get someone to see the mother for what she is.... Hopefully the light at the end of an exceptionally Loooooooooooooooooong tunnel!! SW could not believe, given mother's back catalogue of "issues" that we are still in this position.

I suspect that mother's Sol will file something to say we are breaching order, but I am on the understanding that for issues around "abuse" you can stop contact. We have a statement of the child which corroborates everything we have said, we have the mothers contact with SW as evidence and we have the views and comments of the school/Guardian etc. I doesn't look good for the mum, but fingers crossed....

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25338

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10640
  • Thank you received: 1647
I've stopped contact in the past as soon as I applied to court for a variation to the order - my ex was made aware of the suspension of contact, and it was about 3 months before it got to court, so it was for a while, and I stopped it because my ex was being completely erratic about when she was bothering to come to contact, so there was no danger to my daughter. Even with that, the court said nothing at all to me about breaching the existing contact order - I think that, as long as the court sees that you are acting in the best interests of a child, and are not acting unreasonably (as opposed to stopping maliciously), the worst they are likely to do is tell you you shouldn't have done it, and at best, they won't even mention it.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25406

Well....... had emailed copy of guardians position statement today...talk about last minute Larry (in court in 10hrs time!!). But FINALLY the guardian has seen sense and is going with the Social workers reccommendations: 2 weekly contact SUPERVISED for 12 weeks, to be reviewed. I hope and pray after ALL this time and money that FINALLY we'll have some kinda resolution. The Judge is rather set in his ways - so, hoping he does not do his usual and lay blame on both parents.

Will update when back from court (later today)..... My finger etc are VERY VERY crossed. Plus I have my trainers ready in case we have to leg it from the court! lol.... Could this be the "end" of FOUR YEARS worth of fighting for justice?.......

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25417

  • Nannyjane
  • Nannyjane's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Nanny knows best!
  • Posts: 5430
  • Thank you received: 1583
....fingers and toes crossed for you! :)
The following user(s) said Thank You: tiredoffighting

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25536

Update: Mother's barrister kicked off (after arriving over and hour late!) saying that because Mother was not informed of the SW's intention to make contact supervised, mother is contesting the matter. Back in court in March!!!!!!

Judge has NO idea as to how to proceed, but we have measures in the interim: Contact stopped, awaiting info from SW as see if this includes calls (she has missed 4 calls now), the SW to file recommendations and witness statement on matters which I think can only help us out as it will cooberate all we have said. Given the child opened up during wishes and feelings work to say mother was emotionally abusing her, we have all the supporting evidence we need. The guardian appears completely guided by the SW, which I hope helps us as it appears SW is on "our side" as she can see the wood for the trees!

Maybe not there yet then?.......

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25549

  • ak57
  • ak57's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Expert Boarder
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 623
  • Thank you received: 128
Hi makes you wonder if its ever going to end. But it does sound like sw are indeed fighting in your corner ...

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25554

  • Nannyjane
  • Nannyjane's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Nanny knows best!
  • Posts: 5430
  • Thank you received: 1583
Ak, Tof..it's never ending! the Social Worker I spoke to the other day about my sons case said that to me... its all about control and she said that its likey to go on for years!....Great eh, but she didnt tell me anything I didnt already suspect! :x

When are you next in court Tof?

It sounds to me that you have the upper hand now....The truth usually comes out in the end and people like the mother in your case, ak's sons case, and my sons case show their true colours!

We shall overcome! Just keep on keeping on..... :)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25555

March 8th in court next, really lucky as they have transferred it to OUR local court, which saves money and travel/childcare etc. Let's see what this judge makes of it all? fresh eyes?

Before we moved I asked the then SW would the mother ever stop, given we had new SW/Court/Police etc and she said NO!..

It's funny really, she agreed with the supervised contact - contact was 3 weekly, but 2 weekly through SW, so she was win win. But by contesting, I believe that it will hinder her future as there will now be evidence of all the times she kicks off and has contacted SW when she needs not to be involved. Bizarre. Our barrister said that Mothers barrister was only going before the judge to appease the mother... maybe he really know it would hinder her and not have to represent her?!... She shows her true colours every time we're in court - no bra, trainers, leggings with holes in, unbrushed hair, uncleaned teeth and a tesco bag for her overnight stay in a hotel!!!! LMAO!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re: Stopping contact any advice? 6 years 7 months ago #25558

  • Nannyjane
  • Nannyjane's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Nanny knows best!
  • Posts: 5430
  • Thank you received: 1583
...Just a few days before us! Dont forget to keep us posted and best of luck! x

My sons ex turned up in court for the Residency case having made no effort...jeans, t-shirt....no bra either! :lol: ...but her barrister must have had words because the second time she arrived in a suit! However as you know, it didnt help her in the end!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
Moderators: Samantha Downes