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TOPIC: SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS

SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 5 years 10 months ago #37948

After 7 years of protracted court proceedings I find myself back in the firing line again after I made a specific issue application. At a final hearing 2 years ago I was awarded Shared Residency and a great deal of contact. My ex has never accepted the SR order and made 4 applications to change it (which the judge rejected). I made this application after problems over my ex not discussing our child's schooling and threatening to move away. After a hearing, judge asked for statements and as usual in all cases, Cafcass to do their report. I have many texts and threats from my ex saying she is going to "ruin me" and she has tried (and failed) over the last 6 years. She has also involved my family saying my mum abused me as a child and my stepfather had threatened to kill her (he was dying of cancer at this time and died weeks later age 84). Obviously she has never had any evidence and when it's proven to be lies NOTHING is said to her, it becomes very frustrating! I have been accused of being mentally unstable, accused of being an alcoholic (I don't drink!) and now I find myself being accused of sexual abuse to my own daughter! I feel very annoyed about how she is allowed to carry on the way she does, slandering me when my character is unblemished outside of court. I find myself writing this and I'm not sure what advice I'm after, maybe to hear from others who are in a similar situation. It just wares you down esp after 7 years of being accused of things you haven't done. The judge has never made any findings against me and described me as the "perfect father" However each time I walk into court I feel like a criminal!

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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 5 years 10 months ago #37957

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Hi there,

It's shocking that false accusations can be bandied about with no apparent comeback...I think there are many here that can sympathise with you, it appears very common for a party to make serious accusations falsely which when proven to be lies they are not held to account....it is contempt in my opinion.

You might find this link interesting, it concerns the powers of the court to stop vexatious litigants from continuing with needless proceedings.

www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed82227
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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 5 years 10 months ago #37965

Hi i really sympathise with you buddy! As i understand what you have probably and currently still going through. I too am currently going up against some filthy allegations made by my wife. I have been to court yesterday regarding allegation in a scott schedule the worse being the i sexually abused my 3 month old son at the time, out cigarettes on his face, threatended to rip his nails off (because according to her i am jealous of the childs attention), and that i wanted to adduct him.

I have not seen him in 15 months, my wifes statement are so contradictory the judge if we went to a fact find could have ended this there and then if she was cross examined, but he didnt allow it. I will give an example on the last day i saw my son she claimed that i attempted to sexually abuse my son. Yet the same day via evidence texts she is sending me very intimate messages that contradict this claim!!!!

Because she claimed that she made police logs which i believe were untrue as i have never been pursued, contacted or been arrested with the seriousness of allegations i could not continue. The judge crippled my position saying either i deny she called police (which is what i believe or know), or to go ahead with fact find i accept the police were called and that we go ahead.(The latter weakens my position and credibility) If the moron judge just read the evidence we would have a solution to the problem.

They have now adjourned 7 weeks to delay the matter so her (non reported police) reports can be obtained for the judge to continue for a fact find. She refused supervised contact because she wanted the court to decide if contact should be granted.

It is very distressing and we have to just keep spirit and keep hope. It is harder for you as it has been going on for so long i can guess i have it all to look forward to! But dont worry, stay positive.

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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 5 years 10 months ago #37984

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Wow - that is a fantastic article - I can see that being used more in the future. Will put that in a sticky :)

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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 5 years 10 months ago #37989

Hi Sid4u, sorry to hear your story! I was stopped for 11 weeks while the police reports were sought and even a psychiatric report as she said I was found by police trying to jump of a motorway bridge amongst other factitious reports and lies!

When the report came back nothing was found so my contact was reinstated and I actually received additional overnight contact. So hang in there and use these next 7 weeks to prepare a rock solid case to reinstate your contact and prove her allegations to be false. Don't do or say anything that she could use against you and keep a diary of your movements. Copy those texts (if you have a iphone - screenshot them) and print them out. I wish you luck!

Years ago when all these allegations started I was completely shocked but as I read more and more on forums like this it becomes apparent that I am certainly not alone! What is evident as I look back is that there is a pattern formed with her allegations... when I applied for PR, she applied for residency, whenever I have had genuine concerns, she tries to turn things on me with rubbish yet serious allegations making it look like six of one and half a dozen of the other. These latest allegations came after I found out my daughter witnessed her seriously assault a member of her family, she was arrested and charged. My daughter was warned not to tell me but I found out from the person who was assaulted and spoke to my daughter who broke down with the build up of emotion. The police wouldn't tell me any information so I spoke to social services and they told me what happened. When my ex found out I had spoken to social services she reported me for sexual abuse! This all happened in August but I have only just found out as she wrote it in her statement. I contacted SS and they said they had closed the case so I don't think they took it seriously!? Like you have experienced tho often the court will not consider evidence that can prove her lies. I'm not saying all judges are like that but I have felt like stating the obvious solution to them on many occasions but that would look very bad you just have to accept it.

It is distressing, I was more stressed a few years back when my daughter was younger but as she has got older she can see what is happening and although she does love her mum she also hates her for the things she has done. Her older brother moved out when he was 12, she will choose with her feet soon too.
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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 5 years 10 months ago #38003

Thanks for the advice, its great encouragement your words give me a little hope. Even after losing her credibility in court i cant believe they can still listen to what she says in court i find that extremely appaliing.

i had to make a tough decision and not see my son at his mother parental home as they were not letting me see him when he was 3 months old. i applied for contact order when he was 9 months old and he is now 13 months and i still havent seen him which is a joke. I missed his birthday, and on top of that i have no idea if he is walking, talking etc.

She is refusing to give any info and has done so as she is jealous of the attention i give my son over her, and that what it comes down too. After i refused to reconciliate with her even after the games she was playing using child as a weapon she made things difficult.

As soon as she learned contact order was made thats the first i heard and came across these serious allegations. Im miffed too we requested indirect contact that i send gifts 2 times a month in return for latest photographs. she accepted indirect but refused to send any photo. My solicitor said 'oooh the courts wont like that'!!! now its been two month 2 hearings it hasnt even been acknowledged why i have not had a picture!!! I almost feel 1 year has gone by maybe its not meant to be and cut my losses. My solicitor i feel is trying but she gets really annoyed by my wifes behaviour, and i feel like im feeding off false hope going into court where they say..oh it will be fact find day and a decision will defo be made, but then when you attend court expecting that they adjourn it over stupid stuff.

I just want to see him, i know he is very young but i think these years im missing are extremely valuable i feel that whats the point if i miss out now and the courts dont recognise that. If the allegations are as serious as they are then why the hell did the courts not take on the matter!!!!! Really Peeeved
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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 5 years 10 months ago #38089

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As well as keeping texts etc, keep a diary as well - Johnstone's post above is a perfect example of why - that pattern of behaviour by his ex can be a very powerful tool in court to discredit any allegations she makes.

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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 3 weeks 1 day ago #101351

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Hi Guys.. I'm also in the same boat to. My wife took out a non molestation order against me in June 2019. Basically long story short, she's been cheating on me again, and did the same to me in 2012. Back then she made a 22 page statement against me. It got NFAd by the police 4 weeks later. We stayed together, begun to work on our marriage, in and out of couple therapy for about 18 months. Fast forward 2019. She's been cheating again, and after a week of arguing she went out and didn't come home with our children.. That night, I was arrested again for the same allegations as in 2012,this time a bit more added on.. I've not seen my 4 children in nearly 4 months, and now she's made more allegations against me.. I've seen her out. she in the car, me on the pavement, not looked at her or acknowledged her...I don't get all this.. I really thought she loved me. I'm struggling emotionally with it all. I ve sent in my C100 that's been acknowledged and now have a hearing in October. After a 14 year marriage, she just changed. Over about a month. All I want is to see my beautiful children again... Anyone have advice please? I'm so lost its unreal... Thank you..

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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 3 weeks 1 day ago #101357

hi Devo,

its good that you got the ball rolling with c100. I hope your hearings go well. Are you planning on hiring a lawyer?

mine was 8 year marriage. after break-up she mutated into some kind of monster lol. completely different person. theres no turning back now.

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SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS 3 weeks 9 hours ago #101365

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Hi mate.. I know exactly what you mean.. Mines the same, just turned on me with such viciousness. I've never seen this side to her... And on it goes...

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