TOPIC: False allegations of DV etc

False allegations of DV etc 4 years 2 months ago #56654

Its absolutely crazy.
as far as i am aware she hasnt been to the police. She has no proof of dv. As there never was any. But a friend of mine told me its up to me to prove there wasnt, not up to her to prove there was. That in itself is scary. How can i prove there was nothing there?

There are so many different places to go about mediation. My girlfriend is on the case, how will i know if i can get help paying it?

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 2 months ago #56660

My advise would be to get as many 3rd party witness statements that you can, who can testify that you never abused her. Witness statements from mutual family and friends. Also relevant text messaging, emails, pictures and if she says you are harassing her like mine did then complete phone records direct from phone company. My ex said I took all her money and abused her financially, so i provided my bank statements which shows several transfers I made to her account throughout our relationship. She said she could never leave the relationship as I forced her to stay. Luckily I had an email from her November last year begging me to take her back as I didn't want to be with her anymore as she cheated on me. Basically gather anything and everything. The difficulty is you don't know what she is accusing you of. As she has a case worker her next move is most likely going to be to take out a non molestation order on an emergency basis. Only then you will find out the true scope of what she is accusing you of. Or she will report to the police if she hasn't done so already and you may/will be interviewed. My advise is to refrain from contacting her as any contact direct or indirect will be turned against you no matter how polite and reasonable it is, this is the mistake I made although i successfully managed to cancel the non molestation order it was a long daunting experience.

If you work full time then no chance to get mediation free
you have to be on low income or on benefits

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 2 months ago #56664

This is absolutely crazy.
we were due to get married in july this year. She came home the night before the wedding and found my friend (female) at mine. Called of the wedding.
We had a joint account that she emptied. We split up years ago and she prevented access to our eldest. So i got back with her. We've since had 2more children. I can honestly say that i stayed with her as long as i did to prevent this from happening.
I have texts and WhatsApp messages from her begging for me back repeatedly since july. And the message to say she is only doing it to hurt me.
she even wrote to the sun newspaper and take a break magazine claiming i was a love rat that cheated. In both stories she says she loves me and how good i was as a boyfriend and dad. Surely this goes against her?
Hell from what I've read, its more dv towards me from her. Certainly not the other way around.
ive ceased replying to her messages but she has already cried wolf to all our mutual friends. Not sure how i would get a character reference now. Everybody is on the team of whichever parent gives them access to my sons. Unfortunately that is her at the moment

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 2 months ago #56666

Exactly the same with me, we was due to get married next year, was about to pay her family off(glad i didn't) African culture is you must pay the family of the woman you want to marry.

Keep all that evidence you have, start printing off and file them systematically and add whatever you can whenever you can.

When the judge sees the evidence, they will see without a shad of a doubt that we are the victims here. I have a message from my ex explaining to me why its ok for her to take other mens phone number on the street to be friends considering she just cheated on me a few months back and we have a small baby together and we supposed to be getting married, if thats not emotional abuse then i don't know what is.

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 2 months ago #56669

Its disgusting.
im paying off the 8k wedding still.
ive just got off the phone with mediation as well as having texts from her friends claiming i was at hers last night screaming and shouting at her. I havent been round there in 2 weeks.
She is in cuckoo land.
thanks for the support here. I don't know where else to turn

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 2 months ago #56779

Im being accused of DV .. all horrible lies ... tho it seems the police have believed my ex on the back of witness statements from 3 of her close friends who have said they seen me being abusive to her !

Surely to god that must be seen as biased towards me as these friends of her will say anything to back my ex and her lies up ?!!!

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 2 months ago #56909

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The problem the police have is that if they ignore what has been said, and something did happen, then there would be an investigation as to why they took no action. The only way to stop this is for the courts to apply very heavy penalties if and when the allegations are proved to be false (jail and consequently transferring residence should do the trick), but unfortunately they are reluctant to do so - the fault is with the courts and the system rather than the police in these cases.
The following user(s) said Thank You: kennymac

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 1 month ago #57418

I have recently gone through an accusation of DV and sexual abuse, and assaults on my daughter, apart from the last accusation they are all historic, my ex has a long history of mental health problems and drink and drug issues, yet even though the CPS has said that there is insufficient evidence to proceed against me and apart from the present moment no professional body has ever had any concerns regarding me and my children.

Last night the social worker said that the children are all happy and settled with there mum and they only got upset when they saw me only twice a week and now they have all said they arnt bothered if they see me, im now supposed to go on a course for DV for 27 weeks to learn how to be a better dad while SS allows my ex to manipulate the children.

It seems that some women and men will use the system to destroy there ex partners and there is nothing that the rest of us can do but jump through hoops hoping to get something at the end, I cant say that there is hope at the end of the tunnel because ive not reached it yet, but I do know that a lot of social workers cant be trusted to do the best for the children so we all have to fight hard for what is right.

Good luck in your battle, but the wars far from won.

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 3 weeks ago #58507

My ex accused me of shouting scaring my boy on a visit to her sisters once, as well as hitting her sister with a bottle as I left & slamming the door as I left too.

It was only sent on a letter & they didn't persue it by making actual statements or anything (obviously not, because it wasn't true) but at the time it pissed me right off & only fueled my fire & twisted the knife.

I don't know what DV means so maybe my post is not totally relevant, but I just thought I'd share what I was vaguely accused of.

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 3 weeks ago #58517

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Okay guys first of all, I hope all of you that are suffering from emotional abuse are making notes of it, get a diary and list everything, keep every text/email and don't have any phone contact unless its about your children and even then record it. Its not admissible in court unless the other party knows it is recorded BUT if they involve the police or say you said one thing you can prove the opposite and it gives your legal representation evidence to work with and they can apply for recordings to be used in court if it proves that she is blatantly lying.
If she is posting stuff on social media, save a copy of it, print it and file it. That is all admissible and cafcass if involved will look at it and take it on board.
Emotional abuse is covered under domestic abuse. if she used sex as a took against you, its abuse, if she uses your children against you, it is abuse. Log it all and more importantly log it with the police use 101, they have to take it seriously and they will fill out a form with you. Yes it is hard for anyone to admit to abuse more so for men but, they have to take it seriously and once you have a logged report you keep on reporting and then you can be the one that gets a non mol order against her.
If she has pushed you, scratched you, hit you, slammed a door in your face or thrown things at you that is abuse. Unless you act against it I am afraid these nasty women will continue to use false allegations against men who are often victims without realising it!

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False allegations of DV etc 4 years 3 weeks ago #58520

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The trouble is many men won't report such incidents, the police should take it as seriously but sometimes there is still a flippant attitude towards men suffering from domestic violence. Attitudes are changing but it's a slow process I'm afraid.

Seany25... DV is an abbreviation for domestic violence.

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

False allegations of DV etc 4 years 3 weeks ago #58522

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I know Mojo but the fact men find it so difficult to report compounds the problem. The police are much better in dealing with it now after being pulled over the coals a few times. One I spoke to said they have to be as the incidence of them being called out where a woman has stabbed a man is growing alarmingly so things are much better but, they can only act on what they are told. If men report and feel they are dealt with flippantly then they can complain which is always worth doing but by not reporting these instances it allows these women a power that they will use and abuse.

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