Confirmed by my solicitor today, if you've been accused of DV and have a non molesation order you don't have to go to mediation. You can just apply straight to the courts.
Despite putting a non mol on me and accusing me of DV, my wife is happy for ME to have contact with our son. She flat out refused shuttle mediation and wants to arrange contact arrangements through the courts. She wants a legally binding official agreement that I can't break to protect her and our son. In short, she thinks I might run off with her son but she hasn't said so in writing.
No idea when they're going to apply to the courts. Told my solicitor I'll give them until next week. If I hear nothing I'm gonna apply myself.
I'm in a similar boat. I have no proof beyond my word against my wife's allegations. Her evidence against me, which includes photos of bruises, is compelling but not true. The painful part is that she has been planning this for years. To leave on her terms. Since she knew I wouldn't let her leave with our son. Not that I would have held her hostage or anything but if she left without a NMO her control over where our son lives would be a lot harder. If that makes sense. She has a lot of power now.
A small part of me is grateful she did this. Yes the NMO was OTT but we was heading for a split and I was getting concerned about the arguments our son was seeing. I just never had the guts to walk away. Now that we're apart we can just be good parents.
My solicitor has advised me to request an undertaking with no facts of finding or keep non molestation with no facts of finding. Im pleading innocent but my fear is that I could accused of perjury or lying and sent to jail. I refuse to accept her allegations but I have no evidence to defend myself.
Just don't see this ending well for me but I'll keep fighting for my son. No matter how long it takes.
I am up on a charge of harassment for sending text messages asking to see my children. Nothing threatening and no abuse, all very calm.
She claimed mental abuse which is totally untrue but when I was charged I decided enough is enough and I opened up about what I had been through for years with her. Controlling, loss of friends, isolation, bullying, financial control of our money.
Not seen the children for almost two months and they are only five months old - twins
It hurts but there is some pleasure in fighting for such an innocent and just cause. I will be the father they need as soon as I am granted contact.
I was worried I was imagining what I went through but a family counsellor, a mental heath practitioner (I went for a check can you believe - to prove I am sane), the National Domestic Violence Helpline and the police have all taken me seriously. It was humiliating and difficult to relive the abuse and along the way I identified things I didn't even notice at the time but it was something I'm glad I did.
Should have my first Cafcass interview next week by phone so we will see what they make of it all.
I had police come to my house late one night after my partners sister went to police and made allegations of torture and abuse and that my partner was being locked up
when the police came to my house they saw she wasnt locked up or tortured so spoke to her alone, I was accused of emotional abuse by her nothing else
Police didnt arrest me or take a statement,
there was not any non molestation order
I went to court for a child arrangement order because i could not have contact with my son.
because of the allegations the judge ordered a police indident log to be filed to court
i saw a copy of this and on it clearly stated by my ex...i was not physically abused, i was able to come and go as i freely wished, i was allowed to see friends and family when i wanted
she went on to say that she involved the police because she wanted a house and thought by calling the police they would give her a house ...so essentially admits it was a con
she did say to police she was emotionally abused but they marked the case as no further action against me within 1 hour of her interview
she was refered to womens aid refuge ...which is standard protocol i believe
i asked my child arrangement solicitor if this is perverting the cause of justice but was told that it was up to the police and CPS to take action against her at time which they didnt
What i want to know is...can i pursue this further...surely its a miscarriage of justice and she has admitted she did it in order to get a house or in other words exploit the loop hole in the system that is DV and use it to her advantage to get legal aid, accomodation and a fast track ticket to the welfare system.
realistically, there isn't a lot you can do. The CPS base their decision to prosecute on 1) the realistic chances of a conviction, and 2) is it in the public interest to pursue the cae through court - in your case, it's doubtful whether they could have got a conviction, more likely just a telling off.
You could possibly go for a private prosecution, but the cost would be astronomical.