• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Advice on my rights

Advice on my rights 5 years 11 months ago #38135

  • RC
  • RC's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Thank you received: 3
Would really appreciate some advice please. will try and keep this brief. My wife walked out on our marriage in Feb this year, We have 2 daughters (5yo + 2yo) and they are staying with her, we have had our ups and downs, we had an amicable agreement in place where the girls stayed with us equally but in the summer we had a blow out and she said i wasnt to see girls again so i went to a lawyer and to cut it short i then got a letter from her lawyer in august suggesting that i could have the girls from friday night to sunday night and she had no difficulty if i wanted to see the children on any midweek evenings. Things had got a whole lot better after that and i never went to my lawyer to reply because my wife and i agreed to make an effort and as i work most weekends we even worked out a more suitable agreement between ourselves so i had the girls staying with me 2/3 nights a week. Things were going well but my wife was getting mixed signals and thought there was a chance we could get back together, but that was never my intention as i was only ever being civil for the girls sake and i would never go back with her as she had already used my kids as a weapon in the past, so it came to a head last weekend and now she says i cant see the girls again unless i do it through a lawyer and she wont reply to my texts to see how the girls are or answer my calls. so basically i was thinking of going to my oldest girls school when she finishes tomorrow just to say hello and see how she is, though i know my wife will be there with my youngest girl, but would i be within my rights to do this? I have got an appointment with my lawyer but its not till next week

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Advice on my rights 5 years 11 months ago #38210

  • actd
  • actd's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 10761
  • Thank you received: 1670
Strictly speaking, you are within your rights, but I would strongly recommend against it - the last thing you want is a blazing row in front of your daughter and with half the school watching. It seems that you are able to have meaningful communication with your ex on some occasions, so I would say that the best way forwards is through a mediation, and I think you ex is likely to agree to this as well, as a court would not look kindly if you have asked for this and she has refused. Try www.nfm.org.uk
The following user(s) said Thank You: RC

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Advice on my rights 5 years 11 months ago #38222

I did a similar thing and it helped things along- but it could have gone wrong,

The first thing to know is that your children will be missing you and asking mum why they can't see you, and she wont have an answer for them. This could pay dividends in court as when asked they'll say they want to see you but mum won't let them- and let's face it you need to go to court as once this starts it's not going to stop. Awful woman to tell the children who they can and cannot see.

What I did was turn up at the bus stop after no contact for three weeks. My kids were in tears instantly, and she ended up relenting and letting me see them that weekend. It takes a hard faced parent to see children crying for a parent and still deny them. However, she could have said I was harassing her (this is where the system is majorly at fault, wanting to see your children when they are being witheld is not harassment!) Make sure you audio record it if you do go to see them and make sure your words are just to the kids- 'i miss you so much, I'm hoping you can come and see me really soon' and if a row starts, say that you don't want to argue and walk away.

Really, if you can hold out a few weeks until she relents and wants time off, do that instead. But get your C100 in asap as you want this to be sorted by the summer.

Do everything you can to show that you are the responsible parent. Im angling to gain residency by being able to say I have never witheld contact with the children, never taken them back late, never missed a CSA payment, which puts the focus squarely on the awful stuff my ex continues to do :)
The following user(s) said Thank You: actd, RC

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: Samantha Downes