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TOPIC: FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE

FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53025

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So hopefully next weekend will be the first time I get to see my Daughter in a Contact Centre and I was just wondering what other peoples experiences were after not seeing your child for a long period of time and how the first contact went.

It actually works out that I will get to spend 1.5 hours with my Girl, I've got her a Peppa Pig toy box rammed full of age related, play and learning toys to give her a sense of ownership, I'll be taking some nappies wet wipes ect too.

Obviously the poor kid hasn't seen me for 9 months so I'm not going to go in all guns blazing I want to try and let her crawl over to me in the first instance although I never seen her for the first 6 weeks of her life she was absolutely fine then I took over night feeds and bedded down in her nursery over last Christmas I fed her, got her ready for bed, dressed her in the morning (as her mum was too drunk to bother) so I really built my bond with her then and I'm quietly confident she will be fine again.

Has anyone got any suggestions how I can make things go smooth as possible as I get a feeling the contact centre staff are going to be watching my every move as my ex has been up there telling them that I'm a crazed kitten killer from hell.

Many thanks

Slim :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53026

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It's great news isn't it? You get to see your little girl at last...wow.
When I saw my grandson for the first time after 5 month I was acutely aware that he would perceive
me effectively as a stranger so I decided to let him come to me, rather than shower him with all the kisses
and hugs I wanted to give him.
This paid off really well as it took him no time to come to me ( he had his 1st birthday last weekend)
and he was quite happy in my company. He let me carry him, play with him etc.
Let her come to you would be my line of thinking, she will let you know, of that I have no doubt.
The other thing I discovered was that my grandson likes fruity puddings so I always have one at the ready....

You will be absolutely fine and I sincerely hope you have a great time with your daughter....don't worry about
the CC staff...they are used to it I should imagine. They will see that you are a great dad.

Take care
Kirsten

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Life is simple...it's just not easy.
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FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53030

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Thanks Kirsten much appreciated, yeah I was thinking about taking a selection of fruit ect with me to see what she likes, some chopped up banana, some orange segments, some of them mini grapes too.

I can't seem to get too excited about it as I consider her sister just as much of a daughter as mine if not more so as she is nearly 6, It's awful I have been awarded contact with my Girl and she being left out as I'm only allowed 2 indirect contacts a year with her I feel like I've let her down it's shit.

Don't get me wrong I'm over the moon I get to see my girl but my step daughter has had such a rough life she misses out on so much because of her disability it seems like she's missing out yet again, since I started this I've tried to fight for both girls on an equal footing and my ex and my step daughters father have teamed up to make sure I don't get contact with her it's pants. he has never bothered with her because he didn't want a disable child.

Yeah I'm not going to dive on my girl I'm quite a chilled out person who doesn't like me smothered and my Girl is exactly the same so I won't go in like a bull at a gate :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53032

Weird first post i know but I've been following your story Mr Slim and I really hope it goes well with your little one.

Just one thing though, if you're going to take fruit for your little one, especially grapes and oranges, make sure you chop them up. The last thing you want is the little one coughing over a grape in their throat or over the skin stuff on orange segments and the supervisor writing a good bonding experience up as a bad thing. I was told by my health visitor that grapes and oranges should be chopped up until the child is around two and has a full set of teeth.
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FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53033

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Lol it's cool mate already thought of that one ASDA have these new tiny little grapes they're the size of a pea I've been through 3 cartons of them this week already, yeah I'm not going to give her a full orange and a knife to peal it hahahaha!

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53035

Hey Slim,

Get there early - set up your food/ drink area in a particular section of the room.
Next to that section set up a cleaning area - ask cc supervisor about location of toilets etc (you ask as opposed to be told).

If your daughter likes particular songs - make a CD or get her favourite songs ready & play them just before she comes into the room.

Surround yourself with 2 or 3 toys that she might like to play with & enjoy the experience.
Have the phone/ camera/camcorder/ memory banks ready to store all great memories with your loved one.

Overall make the most of 1.5hr by making the necessary preparations beforehand.

You can request CC Report on your interaction with your daughter - if that helps your court case.

Good luck - lots of emotions - pain & joy at the same moment...
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FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53038

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Excellent mate thats awesome :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53040

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Hi Slim,

Some great advice there.

I wonder are you or is it possible to take a gift for yoru daughters sister do you think?

Bit left field and the mother may bin it but just thinking.

Regards,

Dave
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FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53067

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I've got another toy box rammed full of toys for her too as I thought I would get to see both girls in the contact centre, my ex has said she will just bin them as the court have ordered that I give them to my ex at the nearest contact date to her birthday as I'm only allowed 2 indirect contacts a year with her sister it's utter bollocks I'm not sure if that is an interim order or not but I was going to suggest that her sister supervises 1 hour on both the girls birthdays so I can personally give them their cards and presents bot their bdays are next month

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53071

Just be yourself enjoy and it will be great
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FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53073

Go and have fun matey............. Your gona have a blast. Take some toys, fruit like you suggest and go be a daddy .... :)

I wanna know how you get on too!!!! :)
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Life changed Sept 13 when my son came along, even thoough life is hard, he is worth every effort and my life is complete.

FIRST SESSION AT CONTACT CENTRE 5 years 8 months ago #53116

I would speak with the contact centre about what they will allow. My sons ex would not allow him to take any food or drink for the little one (she wanted to keep in control) and the contact centre would not let him take gifts as they said they had plenty of toys to play with there and also Cafcass didn't want the little one to associate daddy coming along all the time with presents.

I am so happy for you having contact at the centre. Is it supervised or assisted. If it is supervised, don't worry about someone being there - in my sons case it went in his favour as she made accusations that the child was not happy at him being there, which went against everything the contact centre reported. Have a wonderful time and please let us all know how things go.
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Last Edit: by Cuddles.
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