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TOPIC: Changing my son's name

Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54009

Hi guys, hope you can shed some light on this..
My ex and I have split up and now our son has started school. His name on his birth certificate is Flynn Lewis (same surname as mine) however, she has registered him in the school as Flynn Duke (her surname). I'm aware that she can call him by whatever she likes in school as it is know as a pseudonym! But now she is wanting to change his name on his birth certificate to Flynn Duke-Lewis (double barreling both our names). I have found out that his birth certificate can not be changed!!! But it can be changed by deed poll. We are both named parents on his birth certificate so it would need both of our signatures to go ahead..
However, I have been told that if we both disagree then it will just end up in court eventually and the judge will rule what is best for the child's interests?? I.e how he will feel and what will be best for him! Always resulting in double barrelling his name as he spends his time with both of us. Apparently this is a common case which always ends in double barrelling?? Will it even go to court or is she stuck with it being Lewis unless I say otherwise? Really don't know how it works..
Let me know your thoughts guys and appreciate your help!

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54011

Just posted this for someone else with the same problem, bud..

Basically, she cant do that..

At the beginning of the year I had made an appointment with my daughters doctor to check on the progress of the illness my daughter has, and when I spoke to the receptionist, she referred to my daughter by a different surname. I challenged this straight away and was told that the name had been changed upon request of her mother. I took the details of the practice manager and called her the next day. I made my position clear on my position that her name is NOT to be changed and her name is to be changed back immediately. The practice manager agreed and apologised that it should not have been done without both parents consents. The manager also wrote a letter to both me and my daughters mum stating this and apologising that it had been done.

i then made a appointment with the courts stating that she had violated my PR rights and also the contact order which states at the bottom of the order that 'No child may be known by another surname..'

Needless to say, when I got to court i handed the letter to the judge. He asked my daughter mother why this had been done and she gave them a phony-bologny excuse that it had been done by the doctors office because her surname is too long. The judge did not accept that excuse and added to the court order that 'The mother will not change the childs name or have the child be known by any other surname..'

Win for dad!.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Chimp

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No Justice, No Peace.

Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54012

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I think you are about right, to change his name by deed poll would need your consent. Cases of this nature can end in court and you are right that the court will often allow the "double barrelling"...the mothers argument being that as the resident parent the child should also share her surname.

You could have a word with the school and make them aware of your child's official name. Later on with GCSEs and other certificates his official name has to be used, and of course a passport would also have to be in his official name too.

Legal Aid isn't available for private family law cases so there will be a financial cost, or at least an ability to self represent in court...this may put her off!

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54013

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...if he doesn't have any kind of court order Danjamw, then it's much easier for her to use a " known as" . You had redress because its part of the warning notice attached to your contact order.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54014

Also, the school should be aware of the correct surname as they will have a copy of the birth certificate. I would also make sure that your details are entered in their database as being the childs father with all your contact information there too.

When I first showed my face at my daughters nursery, the school staff didnt know that i even existed as her mother had left out all of my details. Now I make sure that I have open communication with the school asking how my daughter is doing, etc. So they know I am very involved in my daughters life.

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54083

Hi, thanks!! I don't believe I have a contact order, never heard of it. Myself and his mum have always got in amicably and sorted things out ourselves.. Until now where she has gone too far! So I don't believe I have a contact order?

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54091

Hi mate,

If this is the type of behaviour your ex is starting to exhibit, then I would really get a court order arranged just to protect yourself and your rights as a father. However, When my daughters mother decided to change my daughters surname with the doctors surgery and I found out about it, I immediately voiced my protest at the change being made. The only thing the office used to refer to was my daughters birth certificate, I have a court order already and they did not request to say this. They stated that my daughters name should be the name stated on her birth certificate and that BOTH parents must agree to any change of name for the child. They also put this is writing in an official letter to both me and my daughters mother. I also presented this letter to the courts, in which she was reprimanded for attempting to make this change in a sly and unlawful way..

I would certainly raise your complaint with the school. The last thing they will want is to think they are violating your rights and assisting with an unlawful action. They will or should have your childs birth certificate with them already. They will be aware of the 'rules' as I am sure these are not uncommon situations which they have found themselves caught in the middle of..

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54119

So what is a court order then? And how do I go about it??

Also, if I refuse to agree to double barrel his name, will it just end up in court eventually? The judge will then apparently rule it for the child's best interest to double barrel the name as he actually lives with his mum?

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54132

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Do you think your ex is willing to go to court to get the name changed? You could go for a prohibited steps order to prevent her from having your son known as, but I'm not sure on what your chances of success would be - she could put up a reasonable argument that it is sensible that she and your son should have a link in their names, and also that there is an acknowledgement in his name of her heritage. Alternatively, you show her the rules stating that she can't change your son's surname without your permission, or an order of the court - that way it would be for her to apply to the court (and incur the £215 cost). If she is prepared to go to court, then the question is, if she has a reasonable chance if success, is it worth opposing it as it will sour the relationship you have with her (which you say is reasonable, apart from this) and if she wins, she may then think that she can win in other areas, and push the boundaries further.

Another thing to consider - if you agree to this double-barrel name change, the chances of her later going to court and successfully arguing for another name change is very unlikely, so if she gets married in the future, she won't be able to double barrel your name with her new surname - just a thought. Ultimately, it's up to you whether you think it's worth the fight against the possible outcomes.

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54157

This is a subject that worries me. We split after I discovered my wife was having an affair . She now lives with someone else in our original family home. To avoid upsetting the kids we didnt tell them or neighbours etc the reasons for the split. Over the years familes have come and gone and to anybody new they appear to be the perfect family. That goes out the window when they then work out the kids have my surname which is different from the new partner. It would not surprise me if in the future they marry and then apply to change my kids surnames. So unlike the previous posters my concern was not about reverting to maiden names or double barrelled it was worse still that they take on the name of her new husband.

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54240

Much appreciated guys!! Thanks for all of your help and input!
I've thought long and hard about it and aslong as my son is happy and feels loved when he is in either home and part of both families as he's growing up then I dont care! I wouldn't want him feeling left out from either family and a surname is a big part of his identify.. So I've decided to go ahead with the double barrelled name. He loves his mummy just as much as his daddy and he himself said "why can't I share mummy's and daddy's name because you both share me"
So for his best interests and emotional needs I think it'll be for the best!
Then when he is older if he can make a decision himself!

Thanks again all

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Changing my son's name 5 years 1 month ago #54244

Hi Flynn,

By putting the needs of your child first you have shown great care and support for your son.
You obviously love your son very much and I for one think your descision is the right one.


Tc
Kirsten

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