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TOPIC: court order help please

court order help please 5 years 5 months ago #60737

  • eric14
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I knew it wouldn't be too long before back here ......... sorry all but life after court has not been plain sailing if anything it's worse in some ways

I now have CAO in place stating the children live with me and are to have visitation with their mother,

It was my understanding that the ordered contact schedule arranged in court and sent out in the final order, for school term time simply because it states
mother to collect children from school and 3pm and return to fathers at 7pm 2 nights a week with an alternate Sunday, no overnight contact

I distinctively remember the judge saying holiday contact is to be arranged between the parties as it has been for several years previously, Parents should note contact is not set in stone these are young children and things change and it is the courts hope that the parents adapt to this accordingly, contact for children can never be set in stone.

However this is not said in the order it states contact to be set out as per schedule attached the attached schedule is only from school as how could you over school holiday have pick up at 3pm from school etc
also I don't see how the judge would not allow us to go away ever if mum had to have weekly contact as per the order

as i read the order it means to me that the order we have especially as it states collection from school is only ordered for school terms, and half terms, summer holidays are to be negotiated between parents ,

however my ex has been nothing but difficult since court , not allowed the children one single item from her house, not supported the children, lost the home work, let them play out on their own etc etc then went to the police to try and get me and my wife charged with harassment few weeks bak as we were contacting readings the children's belongings, holiday and if she wanted to go down the csa route or pay directly all of which no reply so she could claim too much contact ...

I offered her half term contact to which only tonight she has accepted - this is too late as Ihave the week of work and have booked and planned things with the children.

I really do not feel I am breaking the order by not allowing contact I am keeping with the Sunday contact but their are a few sundays we have plans for but have offered alternative dates again which she wont reply to,

I have had enough of her games, this woman doesn't even want her children overnight it's all to get at me and keep causing me stress

do you think going to a solicitor to get them to put in simple terms what the order is and what it isn't

do you think it's a breach if a sunday needs to change especially as judge said not set in stone but that isn't in the order - very short doesn't offer any holiday contact ,birthdays, special occasions etc just very basic

not worry more annoyed want to stop her keep trying to control me and using the kids again

it's a year since starting the case and really hoped it would settle down I really wish contact could be limited to once a month she is messing the girls head up seeing them after school 2 nights one week 3 the other plus the sunday seems a little too much but don't that way as no nights

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Started the Court process at the beginning of the year (2014) applied for full residency.

Acting as Litigant in person - Over the Moon
All my children now under one roof forever

Final Order Dec 2014 Full Residency to Father

court order help please 5 years 5 months ago #60738

  • Gian
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Hi Eric

Im a fresh boarder on here, so I can't answer your question, but I see that you managed to get full residency and you did it by yourself.

I am not sure whether to go for shared or full residency as I feel the latter may be difficult. My ex has for a petty argument all but stopped me seeing my daughter when previously i had cared for her everyday since we split [1yr]. I would like to think the courts are allergic to one parent using the child as a weapon to hurt the other and would give the alienated parent full residency.

Can i ask if that was your situation or was it that the mother wasn't interested in having residency....I guess Im trying to get my hopes up that the court favoured you as the reasonable parent...

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court order help please 5 years 5 months ago #60740

  • Nannyjane
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Oh Eric!

Once an unfit mother, always an unfit mother.....she isn't going to change and you'll just have to accept that she's always going to try and throw a spanner in the works. I feel sorry for the children that she can continue her treatment of them, denying them their things and not supporting them properly. The one consolation is that they are getting older all the time and will vote with their feet in a few years time. The more their mother continues treating them badly, the quicker this will happen.

As far as the problems over contact, you've got a couple of options. The first option, and worth a try, is to write to the judge who made the order, as I remember she was scathing of the mother, explain how you are being held to ransom and how badly the mother is behaving, continuing to use the children as a weapon to try and hurt you, reporting you to the police for trying to negotiate contact and maintenance etc.. Everything that you have mentioned here. Tell her how unsettled and upset the children are when they come back from the mothers and the games she is playing with the children's belongs, homework etc.

As far as I am aware, if issues arise up to 12 months after an order has been made, you can request the case be reopened for new directions. So in the letter respectfully request that she reopen the case for urgent new directions so that arrangements can be further defined to avoid the continuing distress to the children and the family as a whole. Copy in the children's solicitor and guardian.

The second option and one to be considered if the letter doesn't work, would be to return to court for a variation of the current order so that more definition can be written into the order and possibly reduced contact during the week so that the children's school life isn't affected because of her attitude and lack of caring. If they could drop one of the weekly contacts and move the other to a Friday and alternate Sundays but ask for flexibility on this, when holidays or other family days out have been arranged.

Further get definition of contact during school holidays in as much as it has to fit around family arrangements, work etc, suggesting that you send her a schedule of contact a month before the school holiday commences that she can agree to in writing within 7 days. This to avoid what has happened this half term, when she didn't get back to you and so you made other arrangements.

You would also request that the new case be listed with the same judge for continuity as she will remember her closing speech about the need for flexibility etc.

Best of luck with it.

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
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court order help please 5 years 5 months ago #60869

  • eric14
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the thought of court fills us with dread and we come away with a very positive result ..... but that's some really good advise we are giving her one last chance and have sent her a very formal and directive letter if she continues to play games which we do feel she will as she doesn't have anything else in her life really it's very sad .... the children are having a good week and have not been bothered by not seeing her which is good asked if they wanted to call her or pop round her parents to see her this week they both pleased please don't make us we don't want to ....speak volumes

gian - my ex did want the children as they were her income and way of living she had a solicitor and barrister who she self funded and yet we had a judge that saw thought all her lies and rubbish - but I did see my children every week and had nearly a shared care agreement so the children being with me just took the power of control off her which she still try's to remain in control but it's not been 3 months yet so give it time it may settle - the woman basically choice her boyfriend over her children that's the bottom line I was seen as the parent best able to care for them and provide for all their needs etc proud moment
wish you the best of luck

thanks NannyJ your a star x

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Started the Court process at the beginning of the year (2014) applied for full residency.

Acting as Litigant in person - Over the Moon
All my children now under one roof forever

Final Order Dec 2014 Full Residency to Father

court order help please 5 years 5 months ago #60920

  • actd
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Nannyjane wrote: Oh Eric!

Once an unfit mother, always an unfit mother.....


I would love to disagree with you NJ, but unfortunately, my experience with my ex backs you up on this. :(
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