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TOPIC: Divorce petition sent by wife

Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61107

  • MikeD79
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I just heard from my wifes solicitor that she wishes to file for divorce. She is doing this in the heat of the moment. As you might have know, she put a non-molestation order on me citing DV which Im challenging. She only did this out of desperation since I didn't listen to her problems during our marriage and argued with her loads.

I want to ask her to let the dust settle, for our childrens sake, lets spend one year apart and then decide whether divorce is the best course of action with a clear head.

I plan to challenge her divorce petition and ask for a year of seperation for the childs sake before making such drastic decisions. In the mean time I'll be attending various anger management course.

What are my chances?

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61122

Hi There,

From what I understand you can challenge the divorce and not accept the reasons or te divorce, I think I'm right in saying that if you do this and you can't agree then there would be a 2 year wait in order for her to file for divorce where by you couldn't contest it.

I can't say I am 100% right though so I would have a chat with a solicitor and doube check that, you can often get a free 30 min consultation where you can ask a few questions and get some answers.

GTTS

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61126

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I'm guessing she will use alleged DV as reason for divorce. If I contest it I'll guess they'll be a finding of fact hearing or something.

Also do I need a soliciter for divorce? Can I do it by myself

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61127

Hi,

I would imagine your right on the reason from what you've said, I would try and get a chat with a solicitor and see what they suggest, ask them if you are able to self represent through divorce, I can't see why you wouldn't be able too, but if you contest the reason and she has no evidence then her reasons are goig to stand up in the first place so it will fall down.

get an appointment with a solicitor and ask them a few questions, they will tell you if you can self represent, though I would imagine they would try and advise against it as they will want the business, but at least you wil know if it's possible.

GTTS

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61207

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you can self represent as far as I know, though the divorce court may advise otherwise if they think it's one sided. You could use a solicitor on an ad-hoc basis for advice, while you do the donkey work, which will keep your costs down while getting good advice - again mention to the solicitor at the first meeting that you'd like to do this (if that is what you want to do) and see if they are amenable to that.

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61237

Probably the easiest way forward though would be to negotiate through you ex's solicitor and try and keep it out of court.

I know from experience that this isn't easy in the short term as solicitors tend to be quite difficult, I have helped a member from this forum over the past 6 months negotiate with his ex's solicitor and we are just starting to get to the end.

If you can keep things out of court you wil have a little more control.

GTTS

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61239

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Wifes solicitors are a pain in the backside. I'm pretty sure things would end a lot more amicably without them. So awkward in regards to what messages they agree to send my wife and even question they send my messages anyway. More just give her verbal feedback of content of my letters, picking and choosing what to share.

The answers from my wife I'm getting back from them just doesn't sound like her. I've known her for 10 years and she would never be this brutal no matter how much she hates me, especially when it comes to our son.

My non-molesation order makes no mention about me not contacting my wife I just can't attack her or threaten her. Nor can I come near her house or workplace. However there is no mention of texts.

If I send a polite message to my text asking if we could amicably discuss problems via mediator surely i can't get arrested for that?!

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61246

If it says not to txt her then I wouldn't as you are going against whats been said, Solicitors are a pain and make life harder for everyone involved.

The ones I've been dealing with through the member on this site, have been awful, in the responses they have sent, we send letters asking for things in the proposal to be changed and we were told that a proposal isn't open for negotiation, but then when we proposed something they sent back asking for changes.

Bear with it and keep calm about everything.

GTTS

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61247

Hi,

I've asked the member I have been helping to log on and have a chat with you, may help to share some stories, and experiances.

GTTS

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61248

I've been confused about my order as well. My non molestation order states:

1) can't threaten or attack my wife
2) can't go near her house unless it's to pick up son
3) can't go near her workplace
4) can't get someone else to do any of the above


No mention of direct contact, phones or texts. I just can't go near her or threaten her.

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Last Edit: by BMurkin.

Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61251

Hi,

Once you have the order in place I would be very careful about what you do as anything the ex doesn't like she can use against you.

It's better to play it safe and just keep contact to through solicitors or what's been agreed.

GTTS

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Divorce petition sent by wife 4 years 11 months ago #61269

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I'm gonna accept the divorce but I will state that I don't agree with my wifes accusations of DV. I'm just agreeing to the divorce because I think that due to her lies the marriage cannot be saved.

If I sign the divorce papers where she cites DV, what will be the consequences? Will it be used in contact discussions? Wife has not accused me of violence between ME and child, so in theory if we're not together they should be no arguments between us and so child can't be affected.

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