• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Sons ex Girlfriend Expecting and Excluding him

Sons ex Girlfriend Expecting and Excluding him 5 years 8 months ago #61165

  • rob3770
  • rob3770's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 29
  • Thank you received: 0
Long story short...

Son met a nice girl, got pregnant and sadly miscarried 3 months later.
Almost immediately she was pregnant again and things looked OK. 6 months down the line she has dumped him citing he has changed etc and wont allow him to go to scans or appointments.

He is in bits and does know where to turn.

This is turning on warning bells for us for when she has our grandchild.

What can he do now and after the baby is born.

How does he ensure he is on the birth certificate?
She has just said that he wont be allowed in the labor ward.
When can he see\look after\act like a real dad after the birth?

We are pulling our hair out here as we can see that the future doesn't look bright.

Any advice would be great.

Cheers

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Sons ex Girlfriend Expecting and Excluding him 5 years 8 months ago #61172

  • Nannyjane
  • Nannyjane's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Nanny knows best!
  • Posts: 5427
  • Thank you received: 1583
Hi there

I'm sorry to hear that your son has been excluded at such a precious time. Unfortunately there is nothing he can do before the baby is born.

Once the child has arrived and the mother is still refusing contact then your son can start the process of applying for Parental Responsibility and a Child Arrangements Order for contact. If he has been left off the birth certificate he can, once he has a Parental Responsibility Order, apply to have his name included.

His first step would be to attend mediation, the mediator would then ask her to attend but if she refused or mediation wasn't successful, the mediator would sigh off the form to enable your son to apply to the court for an order.

Hopefully things will settle down, she will be very hormonal and this could be a contributory factor. I would advise your son to write her a letter and tell her how much it would mean to him to be around for the scans and the birth and to be allowed to visit them both in hospital once the baby is born, but that he fully respects her decision whatever that may be. He should let her know that he is there for her as much or as little as she would like and that he hopes that she will understand that he only has the best interests of her and their baby at heart and will do whatever it takes to be the best father he can be. No pressure, just a nice letter written from the heart. He could also offer to help out financially with anything she may need for the baby.

Best of luck with it.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
Last Edit: by Nannyjane.

Sons ex Girlfriend Expecting and Excluding him 5 years 8 months ago #61177

My ex was similar to this when we split during our second Childs pregnancy, in the end I think putting across to her that I wasn't expecting the baby alone and that I understood she wanted to breastfeed again and that I understood she would feel anxious about being away from him when he was little helped... Along with giving her around £800 for baby things throughout the pregnancy, and taking little gift such as chocolates, Mum to be bath oils, anything I knew she'd liked from the first pregnancy.

I ended up being there for his birth and put on the birth certificate, as well as having contact with him from birth albeit with her always present.

It still led to massive problems 6 months on as she still has to be in control and I may now have to go to court as she has stopped contact but that was more relating to my requests for more contact with our older child.

I think to try not to miss those first important parts of their lives its sometimes worth putting her in control of everything then going down the court line once contact has been established in some form.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Sons ex Girlfriend Expecting and Excluding him 5 years 8 months ago #61187

  • rob3770
  • rob3770's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 29
  • Thank you received: 0
Is the mum allowed to deny access and still expect him to pay for the baby?
He has already paid for everything so far and I mean everything.
He's not saying he will withdraw money but it doesn't seem fare.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Sons ex Girlfriend Expecting and Excluding him 5 years 8 months ago #61197

  • Nannyjane
  • Nannyjane's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Nanny knows best!
  • Posts: 5427
  • Thank you received: 1583
...yes I'm afraid so, maintenance and contact are two entirely different issues and paying child support does not entitle a father to contact, even when they are named on the birth certificate....it doesn't seem fair I agree.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.
  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: Samantha Downes