TOPIC: So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter

So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 4 months ago #68386

  • Hackett
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Hi folks. Thought I'd post an update. I went all the way to her county on Friday and submitted the forms. Due to traffic I didn't arrive until 3:10pm only to be told they'd shut at 2!! I explained how far Id travelled and using advice taken from here I made a point of being ridiculously nice to every person I spoke to. The security staff on the door appreciated my tone and told me to speak to the guy on the desk. I get to the desk and had to (frustratingly) wait 10 minutes for him to finish a phone call to someone who hardly spoke English. I could tell he was getting wound up and despite my haste I made a point of asking him how he was, making a joke about it nearly being "beer o'clock" and generally built an instant rapport with him. By the time we got round to discussing my plight we were best mates ha ha.

So he tells me they are technically shut now but his good friend worked in "Family" and he would give him a call. Sure enough this guy came out of a side door and I did the same with him, asked how he was and extremely thankful for his help, he took my forms and checked them over, it turned out I needed another copy of some parts and he said he could copy them for me, he then whispered that he would have to charge me but if I nipped 100m down the road there was a place that would copy it for less than a pound. He explained that he could take my paperwork now and he'd phone me Monday morning (today) for payment over the phone.
Sure enough someone called me this morning and took the payment, I'm assured the forms are in the way to the relevant people now to be processed.

So all in all I was hot, flustered, frustrated but kept strictly to my principles of treat everyone extremely kindly. I was in a position where no one would have blamed them if they'd told me to come back Monday, but they didn't, and I made a point of thanking them again today for all their help. I'm sure that the rest of the process won't go as smoothly but so far everyone has been great and I have to believe that it's time for Karma to finally be on my side.

Once again thanks for everything on here, I will contribute as and when I can to the forum to help people in future and will keep updates on this thread to prevent clutter.

Hackett.

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So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 4 months ago #68394

  • actd
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Excellent result not having to go back :)

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So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 4 months ago #68430

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Great that you didn't have to go back again. Sounds like the court staff there are helpful. Good luck, let us know how you get on and if we can offer any support.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 4 months ago #68756

  • Hackett
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Morning guys

Quick bit of advice needed. Court paperwork arrived in post back from the court, obviously I'd done my research and thought I'd get it all back and would have to "serve" the respondent the paperwork. However the court have done this, she has received the paperwork and I've only relieved one copy. The court date is start of November, not really sure what to do now other than prepare for the day, statement etc.

Any one have any advice as I was expecting to have to serve paperwork and send forms back to the court saying I'd done so. This has thrown me a bit.

Thanks

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So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 4 months ago #68758

I had the same thing back in jan , don't worry it saves you the hassle of sorting out someone to serve the papers , start a file of all paperwork and get a short position statement together

best of luck
BD

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So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 4 months ago #68761

  • Mojo
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Hi there

Some courts provide this service, some don't....which as BD says makes things a lot easier!

Have you looked at the videos which can be found in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section? They will be helpful and as BD suggests, a file and a brief position statement is a good idea too.

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 4 months ago #68795

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Heres a screenshot of the format for a position statement and if you use the search tab at the top of the page and search for position statement you will find more info.
Attachments:

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 3 months ago #69590

  • Hackett
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Evening folks

So I'm now 2 days away from the initial hearing. It's with a legal advisor not a judge but I think that's normal isn't it? I have written out a statement, it's all fact based and doesn't slate my ex. It's about a page and a half of A4 I'm struggling to cut it down because all the info is so important and I want it mentioned. Can anyone advise how long I get to read my opening statement?

Many thanks.

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So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 3 months ago #69609

  • Nannyjane
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Hi there

I'm not sure that you would make an opening statement but you could ask if it's ok to read out a short statement that you have prepared....have a couple of copies of it to give to the adviser and the other party anyway. It's quite informal....have you watched the videos, they are in amongst the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section...you may find them useful.

Best of luck for tomorrow.

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Mum and Grandmother, supporting my son who has residency of his son.
I want to see a much fairer system in place, where Dads and their children have a voice that can be heard.
There are many groups of people that have equal rights within our society and its about time Dads were given equal rights too.

So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 3 months ago #69646

  • Hackett
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Hi, a little update for you.

Well the hearing was in a room with a legal advisor and a cafcass lady. I started to say my bit and basically the LA stopped me halfway through and told me everything I had said was my daughters feelings and words and why had I not at any point discussed it with my ex. I tried to say I had but ex would never listen or it turned into a fight. Basically ex was sat crying the whole time and LA spent the whole time smiling at her and scowling at me. The cafcass lady on the other hand was fantastic and paid me many compliments for my commitment as a father. The LA went mad when she asked if my daughter knew I was going to court and I said yes. I tried to respond by saying my daughter was the one that researched the whole process and initially asked me to instigate but she wasn't interested.

Ex lied and said daughter has only ever once asked to live with me and that was after she had told her off. LA laughed and said yeah I've got 3 kids too and they're a right handful full time aren't they!

Needless to say I felt like a fucking moron, I was basically made to feel like I see my kids what more do I want, I appreciate some here may agree, however I'm not there because I wanted to fight for my daughter to live with me I'm there because my daughter is desperately unhappy at home and ASKED me to fight for her. I feel deflated but we've been referred to judge led consolidation next week. It's with a male and I'm just hoping I can at least voice my daughters feelings. It's supposed to be about what is important to the children but it seems to be what's important to their mum. I'm trying to remain positive. We shall see what happens next week.

Cheers

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So guys rate my chances-full residency of daughter 3 years 3 months ago #69657

  • actd
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Good luck for next week - at least there's still more discussion to be had, hopefully it will be more about your daughter's feelings

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