• Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: First Hearing Tomorrow

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69021

  • ejlmc
  • ejlmc's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 72
  • Thank you received: 7
Hi all,

Thought i'd post a new thread because my old ones have fallen back down the pages.

1st day tomorrow, 10:30 start.

I've just been informed she is moving to Bournemouth instead of Sevenoaks because apparently she's found someone else.
Now tomorrow all i'm after is contact. I've fought to be on the Birth Cert and now i'm fighting to make sure he gets to see me.
This whole move has only come on in the last few months and she is moving on Sunday!...this bloody sunday.



I've never been so nervous. I didn't think i'd get this nervous but tomorrow has felt so long away and now it's here and i'm so worried i'll mess it up and say the wrong thing.


Argh! needed the rant haha.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69025

Hi ejlmc

I wouldn't class it as an rant it is more of a father feeling desperate to see his child which he has a right for.

I can understand how hurt and fustration you must be feeling not being able to see your child. Especially when your ex is moving away. It will no doubt have an impact.

In regards to court try to keep your composure. The aim is to try getting contact as you clearly have said. I dnt no much about your case but I could point out is explain how close you are with your child and how this move will leave an impact on your life. I am not sure how far she lives from you but try to make a plan of contact that you feel is reasonable for you.

I know few people that have tried to stop ex moving via court so that child does not suffer and has not been successful. But then again there are people that are successful.

Keep strong and good luck for tomorrow. Child will always be part of you so keep fighting the system!
The following user(s) said Thank You: ejlmc

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69037

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 8561
  • Thank you received: 1815
I think you need to question the stability of this new relationship, when they met, what arrangements are in place for accommodation and what that is, if she has looked into schools and why the move hasn't been discussed with you and notice given to allow you and your son to prepare for the separation. I would certainly ask that the move is postponed at least for the duration of the case, or residence is transferred to you if she refuses. I would also want to know if your child has had a chance to develop any kind of relationship with her new boyfriend as she is expecting your son to live with him!

Best of luck for tomorrow.
The following user(s) said Thank You: ejlmc

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69038

If I remember correctly from reading back through the posts, the child is just 10-12months, right? Which sadly makes most arguments moot. But Mojo makes a very good point about the stability of the new relationship. Certainly request an interim order to prevent the move from happening while the case is ongoing. You could also argue that the last minute change of location demonstrates that she had/has no firm plans for settling anywhere and proves it's distance for the sake of distance, if you see what I mean?
The following user(s) said Thank You: ejlmc

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69042

Hi There,
.
How did it go, I'm guessing knowing what the courts are like and the amount of hanging around that you may not be home yet, but let us know what happened.
.
GTTS

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69077

  • ejlmc
  • ejlmc's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 72
  • Thank you received: 7
Sorry for the slow reply.

Court didn't really go as well as I'd hoped.

The ex was all nicey nicey and they all seemed to fall for it. I was made to feel like I was silly for letting it get to court stage and it was my communication that has caused it all.

I've been given:

2.5hrs on a Saturday and Sunday two times a month.

Christmas Day but no Boxing Day (she doesn't celebrate Christmas)

If I'm in the area she is moving to (6hr each way) I am allowed to see her.


And that's pretty much it...

We were in the from 10:30 until 2:20.
Sorry this is is brief. I've not been feeling to well.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69081

At least something is in place for contact, was this an interim order? If so for how long?

First hearings rarely go well and Women get away with all that sweet and innocent card for a while.

Have they order fri and sat every 2 weeks?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69082

  • ejlmc
  • ejlmc's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 72
  • Thank you received: 7
They have ordered that the mother has to bring my son up to n.wales once a month, and I'm to drive down on the third weekend of every month. However that means It can be 3 weeks where I don't see him.

There isn't a date set, it's based on me and the mother agreeing. Which she won't agree with progression. I guess it's just a waiting game now.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69084

I see and when is the first contact? How about suggesting to the mother that you could meet them half way or something to make it less of a burden.

What's contact like with the ex at the mo? Did she agree for you to have contact or was she forced? Keep it baby steps for the time being at least you have something to build on you really need to find a way of getting her to agree to working together the courts sometimes leave it open ended for you both to come to some sort of agreement at the final hearing in my case they were loathed to make an order and really pushed us into working together.

That was the hardest part for me constantly chipping away at the ex not rising to anything and been nice through gritted teeth it took for ages but I finally got there all in all she was a nightmare for 2 years solid.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

First Hearing Tomorrow 4 years 1 week ago #69123

  • ejlmc
  • ejlmc's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 72
  • Thank you received: 7
Sorry for the slow reply, been trying to keep busy.

It's starts from the first weekend of next month. Erm...she makes out that shes all fine and happy with it but I know she absolutely hates it when i have him.

Like you said, it's baby steps just hoped for the courts to help me out a little bit and it feels like a punch to the stomach instead.
Yeah you are right, it's just i know shes going to make everything beyond hard.

How did you manage to do it for 2 years? I have upmost respect for you Slim, seems like you've had an even harder battle.
So happy yours is starting to work out now.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: Samantha Downes