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TOPIC: Christmas Fallout

Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70221

Hi all,

I'm not sure if anyone can help, the ex and I have had a bit of a falling out regarding when I can have my little one over Christmas & New Year.

Resulting in her saying that she will keep my little one for both now, and that I will have to take her to court if I don't do as she says or wants.

So right now I don't know what to do....... I think half of me thinks that we would be better off getting this dealt with and formalised but i have no idea about costs etc.......court seems like quite a daunting process and not one that would be sorted out before Christmas.

I wouldn't be going for custody, but I don't know what exactly I would be filing for, whether it would simply be just for access?

I imagine this is something quite a few would have gone through at this time of year. I will most likely be trying to find legal help tomorrow......even then no idea what makes a good solicitor, or how much I would be expecting to pay........HELP

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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70222

Apologies, I'm on my phone......this should have been in legal eagle -.- feel free to delete it

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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70230

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Hi there

I've moved it over to the legal eagle section.

You're right it's too soon until Christmas to get this sorted out in court. However it is now mandatory to attend mediation before a court application can be submitted, so that would be your first port of call.

If you attend mediation and discuss what you would like help with, the mediator will then ask your ex to attend and hopefully with the mediators help you can both talk through the issues and reach agreement. However if this fails, the mediator will sign the C100 form which will enable you to apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order for contact.

There are many dads here that have self represented, it's doable. Check out the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, there's lots of helpful info there about Child Arrangement Orders and the court process, as well as some helpful videos.

If you were looking for a solictor you would look for one that specialises in family law, a good indication of that would be a practice that is accredited by Resolution or offers mediation services. Some offer a free initial consultation and you may find this useful.

Best of luck.

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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70237

Thanks for moving it.


I don't think that she would attend mediation. Does this have to be offered and denied? Also how much would that cost.?

Am I right in thinking that I would just be applying for access at this point??




[/spoiler]

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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70239

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Yes I'm afraid so, you would have to make an appointment and go and talk to the mediator and if he/she felt mediation was suitable, they would contact your ex to arrange an appointment. If she ignores or refuses the request to attend then the mediator will sign the form which will enable you to apply for a court order.

The fees for mediation vary and you could ring round and get some prices....you're looking at anything from 90 - 120 per session, plus extra to sign the form. If you are receiving benefits or are on a low income you may be entitled to legal aid funding for this service and you can discuss this with the mediator. If your ex is entitled to funding, you will also get the initial MIAM free. Here's a link to the mediation services

www.nfm.org.uk

You would be applying for Child Arrangements Order for contact.
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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70241

Cheers mate that's a start, I'll be looking for a solicitor tomorrow.

I know she works ~16hrs a week, so I would assume she maybe entitled to help

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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70243

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If she only works part time it's likely she will be in receipt of working tax credits and may well be entitled to help with mediation costs.

Good luck
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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70248

I am on a laptop this morning, and able to look through the stickies a little easier.

I think while I will try and find legal representative, for advise given the time of year and my financial situation, I would be better off doing the bulk of this myself. I can see a fair amount of information about "what" mediation is, or that you can still get funding for it......however not a huge amount of what I need to do to be able to start mediation? & would I inform my Ex or would I pass her details to mediation to contact etc etc.

Thanks

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Christmas Fallout 3 years 11 months ago #70275

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... There should be a search engine on the NFM website to help you find mediation in your area. It might be a good idea to call a few to see what they charge. Once you have selected the mediation service you want to use you should make an appointment to discuss the issues and what you hope to achieve. The mediator will then contact your ex with a brief explanation and ask her to contact them to arrange an appointment.

It might be a good idea to let her know that she will be getting contacted about mediation, perhaps explain to her that mediation must be attempted first and express your hope that, with the help of the mediator, you can both reach agreement for the sake of your child.
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