TOPIC: HOLIDAYS ABROAD

HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76430

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In this instance I would probably say your best (and cheapest bet) is to write to court and explain the unfair circumstances of your predicament so to speak. The sad thing is that to alter it would need agreement from the other party which a her Solicitor could always confirm agreement to and the order can then likely be amended without further need for Court.

You would be very unlikely to be asked to pay her costs as it is for the interests of the kids. They have a right to some time with you as well. Its malicious matters which result in this.

If court says no you would have to start a negotiating process with your ex.

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HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76432

Thanks

SO who would i write to as the last judge is not going to change his view.

Basically back in March i backed down to her demands to finish it there and then ... but when she got all she wanted she then decided to continue to the very end to go for custody and make it as nasty as she possibly could.

So CAFCASS and the judge said she should get this vast amount of holiday that was earlier agreed to, and if i want to take her during a half term to give up some of my other holiday.

But i'm not going to be giving up my time over Xmas with her, i've a week at Easter which as i won't have seen her during the last half term so will ant to spend time with her then. So ive 3 weeks at summer which is not exactly a lot of holiday to be used for trading. Too add its basic common sense that the kid is going to be shattered after spending the half term at the mothers where she is going to get spoiled and stay up late ... its just basic common sense to me she should be back a night before going back to school so she is rested.

The childs interests were never paramount in my case, it was all about the mother, there is no way a judge would have made such a court order had it been the other way round.

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Last Edit: by simonses.

HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76435

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I would still write to the Court. It would be a legal adviser/judge who may give a response. Its just a way to exhaust another avenue of costing you more.

Failing that you could write to Solicitor asking to relinquish a week or two of half term. Ignore the day before thing as yes while it is common sense its not an end of the world thing.

If she will not budge, its time to consider a variation to ensure you get a holiday opportunity that doesn't cost a car.

Also for what its worth the Family Court is mostly and oxymoron and Mums are the main concern overwhelmingly in my 5.5yrs experience.

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HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76436

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I think the reason she was granted the half term holidays in full is because she only sees her for one weekend everŷ term time, this is fairly normal when contact cant happen more regularly.

With this in mind I think you would be on shaky ground if you tried to reduce her contact. I would try and work with this, but if you find that your daughter is overly tired on the Sunday's when she is dropped off try negotiating an earlier drop off with the mother, and if that fails then you could think about raising a Specific Issue Order to get the drop off time changed...but give it at least 6 months.

Try and look at the bigger picture, you have residency and as well as that you have vastly more quality time with your daughter than the mother does. If she disappeared for two years and then came back demanding you to change, you quite rightly feel resentful, but the court case is over now and I think you would be better just drawing a line under the past and letting your hate go....it will just keep you in a bad place IMO.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76437

Thanks will put something in writing.

I sent the mother some nasty emails after separating and on 2 occasions in court the judge brought it up and i had to apologise for sending them.

However not one of the 3 judges i had made any comment at all about the mother buggering off for 2 years and not seeing our kid and constantly missing visits on her return (she even done this during the court case), at a wild guess i'm going to say that the latter will have much more of a negative effect on our kid.

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HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76439

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Of course it's up to you if you want to take it further, but my feeling is you will just get the judges back up.

Why don't you wait and see, if she's unreliable and keeps letting your daughter down, you would be within your rights to suspend contact when this starts happening, she would then have to apply for enforcement and you could then argue your case for reducing contact, as her primary carer its up to you to protect your daughter and letting her down can cause anxiety and emotional damage.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76440

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I do agree with Mojo (hadn't realised the only time seeing child was once a term). If you want a non-term holiday you would have to negotiate for one of the half terms.

If your ex sees your child for 7weeks plus 3weeks over summer it may be somewhat worthwhile ceding some of your time elsewhere to ensure a better time abroad.

The bigger picture is that your ex sees your/her child for what I would say is a large chunk of the year relatively speaking when compared to the short straw a lot of dads get.

I still think if being priced out of a summer holiday in summer is the driving factor surely its not unreasonable to look to a more fair alternative that to a rational person should be fair for the child in respect of the circumstance.

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HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76442

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Many parents pay the £60 levy and take their children out of school during term time if they can't afford the huge pice hikes during school hols. Might this not be an option for you? That way it wouldn't infringe on her time and you would be able to afford to take a holiday at hugely reduced cost.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76443

Thanks

My ex is not rational and is anything but fair, her wants and needs come first.

I could suggest she gets the first 4 days of summer and the last 3 weeks to get 1 week of half term so a holiday can be arranged but she won't back down.

But like i say i've not much holiday to negotiate with and my parents who have lived with her for much of her life would like some time in the holidays with her.

If the mother was so bothered about seeing her kid she would have moved close by instead of getting pregnant by a man who lived 200 miles away when she cleared off for 2 years.

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HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76452

Mojo wrote: Many parents pay the £60 levy and take their children out of school during term time if they can't afford the huge pice hikes during school hols. Might this not be an option for you? That way it wouldn't infringe on her time and you would be able to afford to take a holiday at hugely reduced cost.


The mother wouldnt have it, if she found out we'd be back in court with her going for custody.

The holiday which i initially posted about meant my daughter being out of school for 5 days in the run up to the Xmas holiday when she was just 5 and as anyone with a little common sense knows this week involves zero academic education. The wretched mother claimed it would have a negative effect on her education and was the reason she used to try and stop the holiday.

And then the mother hasn't got a penny to contribute to the childs extra curricular activities.

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HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76454

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Well, thankfully there are legal precedents currently in force that mean you can take your child away during term time.

As long as your child regularly attends (threshold over 93% now) but still being debated and trying have loopholes closed.

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HOLIDAYS ABROAD 3 years 3 months ago #76467

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All sorts of emotions get fired up during a court case. I really hope you and your ex can allow things to settle down now, with a little space and time maybe some of the wounds can heal and you can start to at least be civil with each other and get on with co parenting amicably....at the end of the day that's what's best for your little girl too.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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