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TOPIC: Quality time with you're children

Quality time with you're children 3 years 3 weeks ago #74122

I need some advice. Because of the way the consent order has been worded- as dictated by the ex. This June, they have every weekend bar half a Saturday when they are at home. I have written to the ex and put forward several suggestions that would be fairer on our children, particularly as one of the weekends is my birthday , but falls on the fathers day weekend.

My ex has refused all my proposals, claiming it would take huge amounts of time of him. He will in effect have 3 & 1/2 weekends in June. I will have 1 Saturday until 4pm.

At Christmas the access worked out unevenly as well. Out of 18 days, I had 5 1/2 days out of 18 and they were not together.

My children have asked him for a fairer amount of time with me, but have been refused. Over the past few months they have not spent any time with him on his own, his partner who does not live with him is allway's there. They were bought concert tickets for their birthday's as well. They thought they were going with just their father, but then found out his partner and her child were going. They have asked to spend time with him, but get told they spend time with him! His partner and her child from what my children tell me are quite dominating, and they are left feeling sidelined.

I cannot say anything to the ex as I am made out to be a jealous ex wife. Far from it, I just want my children to be happy. I do try and say to them that they need to speak with their father, yet when they do, they are ignored.

Any advice would be very welcome.

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Quality time with you're children 3 years 3 weeks ago #74123

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Ultimately you cannot do anything about what he does with the children during his contact time. I understand your children would probably like some one on one time with Dad but with the situation as you've described, it's unlikely to be something that you are able to discuss. Perhaps best to focus on supporting your children and trying to be positive about the new partner so that the children become more comfortable with her and her child? If things progress with their relationship it's possible they may move in together and your children will need to adjust to that situation too?

With regard to the month of June, I think you posted about this before? Unless the court order lays out specific dates for this month or is worded so that these 3.5 weekends are part of court ordered contact, there is little you can do. If it's not specified then it's up to the two of you to decide when the children are available for contact.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Quality time with you're children 3 years 3 weeks ago #74133

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BooBoo, if you want to PM me, I am happy to go over your order with you and see if I can help you figure out why the children are not getting equal quality time. For example are there any months or holidays where you get more than the father.....

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Quality time with you're children 3 years 3 weeks ago #74134

Hi Yoda I will pm you. There is no way my children will feel any different about his partner, she has put them through a lot and she has been a nasty piece of work towards me.

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Quality time with you're children 3 years 6 days ago #74569

I used to have a terrible time trying to arrange time with the kids but my ex was always avoiding me. We now use the Droppa app. Seems to have improved things hugely - its just a scheduling app but its just like organising things by text. Now my kids have phones too they are involved in all the arranging. Give it a go - it improved things for us.

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