TOPIC: Implacably hostile

Implacably hostile 3 years 8 months ago #74604

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So we have an official descriptor for the evil ex, she's implacably hostile. A rare species apparently but a deadly one. The court date for the breach is set for 3 weeks time. Her solicitor is not responding to calls or answering letters. Cafcass seemed sympathetic, but were last time until she got them onside, said they were surprised he got such inadequate access in the order and that he is doing the right thing going back to court. But then crushed his hopes by saying if she repeats the allegations of harm to them, and believe me they are super ludicrous, then an S7 will be ordered, another one God help us, and he's unlikely to get interim access. So he's taking her back to court for breaching his contact order and who is being punished here ... oh yes three innocent little boys and their loving daddy who puts himself through all this totally draining and damaging mental torment to see them. Six months of rebuilding relationships with them wasted. I'm just wishing karma one day catches up with their woeful excuse for a mother.

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Implacably hostile 3 years 8 months ago #74607

Don't kid yourself with regard to "Implacable Hostility".

My saga has run for 11 months now and seen me in criminal court, police cells denied contact for six months, evaluated by every agency and organisation you can think of. All due to a manipulative and controlling ex who pulled the wool over my eyes for over four years - I thought she was sweet and lovely. Everybody who knows us thinks she is sweet and lovely.

Don't knock the court process or CAFCASS - yes it's slow and yes they can be sent on wild goose chases as a result of allegations a three year old wouldn't believe but all the time, the clock is ticking and they are running out of lies - the Court and CAFCASS are watching..

I went to collect my babies today and contact has been refused.

Letter to the judge, C79 enforcement application lodged and a clear message given that residency should be transferred to me so I can ensure contact with both parents proceeds as it should. I'm told there will be a URGENT hearing this week.

The point is, there are hurdles and the ex will try every disgusting and manipulative trick in the book but in the end, if you are honest, if you are a good parent, you will win.

We used to know "Implacable Hostility" by a different name, it's nothing new. We used to call these people "A wolf in sheeps clothing". Keep calm, take the knocks and the pain and carry on working towards a future where you can protect and educate your children on how best to deal with a personality disordered parent. Trust me, they need you more now than ever before.

CAFCASS can and do make mistakes, so do the Court. You need to be on the ball and above all else, squeaky clean.

Good luck.
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Last Edit: by justdad.

Implacably hostile 3 years 8 months ago #74627

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Thanks for your inspiring reply JustDad. It's good to hear from someone in a similar situation who is doing OK. I thought his ex was pretty unique but it seems not. Underneath her pretty exterior beats a purely black heart, the allegations she makes are truly horrible, but she's got a bad memory and the cracks in the lies are starting to show. It's the lies she tells the children that are the worst, that Daddy tried to kidnap them and the police had to stop him, total fantasy. It just takes patience I know but it's so hard to live a normal life while all this is going on and the end of the tunnel looks so far away.
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Implacably hostile 3 years 8 months ago #74664

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Great to read Justdads reply there, wishing you good luck.

Harli, I hope things go your way at the hearing in 3 weeks, please keep us updated and keep posting if we can do anything to support you all.
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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Implacably hostile 3 years 8 months ago #74678

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Thanks Yoda, I will certainly keep everyone posted. I think it's important that people know to manage expectations. I really thought this was a case of ex breached the order, she gets her wrist slapped and contact is restored. Instead he's paying, yet again, for the privilege of being treated like a minor criminal and investigated by all and sundry. It's demoralising and I can't see how it helps anyone apart from Ms Implacably Hostile. If someone doesn't work out she's lying this time then there really is no hope. The emotional and financial toll is hard to bear when there is no benefit.

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Help needed 3 years 7 months ago #74907

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I don't know how much more we can take. The S1 is a horror story. She's alleged he's a drunk, turns up to contact drunk, doesn't focus on the children at contact and instead wants to have a go at her, assaults his children at contact, has upset his child so much he's been referred to mental health services. Cafcass want his access cut until an S7 is done and he gets a hair strand test, a letter from his GP to say he's not suffering depression (he's done this before) and all sorts of other stuff. God help us is it worth it. He's got contact witness statements from his brother and a female friend, both parents themselves, his brother was actually there when she claimed he tried to assault his child. He's calling the school tomorrow as she's alleged they are concerned about his sons mental health but he's been in regular contact with the school and it's the first he's heard of it. What else can we do. Ask the play centre for CCTV? Do we need legal advise fast? The hearing is on Monday and I'm really worried.

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Help needed 3 years 7 months ago #74912

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Harli, do you have any help from a solicitor or MF?

If you pm me I will try to help all I can. I will send you a pm now.

If the allegations have been proved false before and you have witnesses, I would certainly be trying to challenge the CAFCASS recommendations and getting information from the school and GP.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Implacably hostile 3 years 7 months ago #74913

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Hi

We have no help at present. He really can't afford help this time. He's calling the school tomorrow. He is very despondent and I'm all out of ideas

I'll PM you back

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Implacably hostile 3 years 7 months ago #74915

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No problem, I will try to help if I can. Pm'd back
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Update 3 years 7 months ago #75058

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Thank you for the offers of help, they were so much appreciated but we decided that being a litigant in person just won't work with this woman and serious legal help is needed.

We found a solicitor who offered the lowest fee she could but it's still a lot and he will struggle to find the necessary money but it's got to be done. He can't instruct until after this first hearing as we were late getting help so he's alone for this one, but we did get helpful advice and he's fully briefed as to how to handle this hearing.

Right now he's waiting to go into court, and things aren't looking good, she's got a barrister and has instructed an officer of the court whatever that is, Cafcass refused to talk to him for some reason but have spent a lot of time with ex, I can only assume this doesn't bode well. He's been talking to her barrister who is trying to agree some sort of order, I'm not sure what and I'm sure it won't be in his favour. I am scared, this woman will seriously stop at nothing to prevent him seeing his children, and everyone so far is sucked in by the pretty little pregnant woman, if only they could see the pure black heart she's hiding. I can only hope the solicitor, who was very confident she could win this for him if he decides to use her, is true to her word.

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Implacably hostile 3 years 7 months ago #75063

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OMG bit of a turnaround. A Cafcass S7 addendum from last year which basically slams ex for not promoting contact and actually uses the words 'parental alienation' has surfaced. This has never been considered so the case has been adjourned by the magistrates and referred to the county court and a proper judge. I'm hoping this is good news although it's taken hours and has been emotionally draining

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Implacably hostile 3 years 7 months ago #75065

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...I'm sure you must both be exhausted! It is so draining and it will take a few days to recover....try and take some time out from it all and put it on the back burner for a few days...or more!

I think it's much better to have it moved up to County Court with a judge who will have far more experience and knowledge of your situation. magistrates are lay people, not trained in law, so it's a good step in the right direction.

I don't understand why CAFCASS refused to talk to him, or what instructing an officer of the court entails...but I'll look into it, perhaps Yoda may know.

All,the best ....and get some some rest!

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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