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TOPIC: More holiday troubles

More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77096

This may be a bit long winded but some advice would be much appreciated.

Three years ago my partner took the mother of his children to court to be able to take them on a short holiday abroad. Although he initially applied for a SIO, the judge decided to change it to a contact order because his ex was quite clearly very difficult and had been making false alegations.

Since then, everything has been ok. We've alternated the summer holidays annually and last year we took them to Spain for a week without any objection. Now, she didn't take them anywhere this year but we had already planned to take them back to Spain next year as the children enjoyed it so much. However, I have friends, who i've known for almost 20 years who have very kindly invited us to stay with them in the USA. They also have children who are roughly the same age. He informed her of this and she has now started coming out with all kinds of excuses as to why it's not a good idea. It's too far, my friends might be crazy, blah blah. Bottom line is, she doesn't want them to go because they're my friends and i am enemy number 1 as she believes i've caused all the problems.

She has muttered a few times that she might want to take them somewhere next year as she didn't go anywhere this year. I have a horrible feeling she will go ahead and book something as she knows exactly when we would be travelling. He has written her a letter explaining everything, asking for her consent.

What happens if she does book at the same time? We may not be able to go for a few years as my partner has his time off allocated and it's not always during the holidays. He doesn't want to cause any problems but she surely can't dictate when and where we go with the kids? She has the passports and has never previoulsy asked for his prior consent as she feels that she doesn't need to.

I realise that mediation may be the next step but what could be done to stop this ever happening again.

Any advice will be much apreciated.

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More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77100

  • Yoji
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Hi,

Unfortunately without an order in place or an order that stipulates he is allowed to take children overseas he's on the back foot.

If he has told her the dates and she books I could bet good money a Court would question why she chose to book it then and then ignore the reason given.

Mediation will be your first step along these lines, if she fails to attend you could request a SIO/CAO to incorporate an overseas holiday.

Its always a shame reading these threads as recently I lost nearly a thousand pounds on my daughters place. However I hold the incompetence of Court responsible.
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~E=mc2~

More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77102

Thanks for your response, We are still keeping our fingers crossed that she will eventually agree as she didn't come off to well in court last time and that has hopefully put her off. Like with many other cases, she is exercising whatever control she has just because she can.

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More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77103

Hi There,
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As you have said hopefully she will back down, if she doesn't Yoji has given you good advice.
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Although It's really unfair a resident parent doesn't have to seek agreement to remove the children from the country for a holiday, It's mad that it works that way and isn't at all fair.
.
GTTS

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More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77106

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And GTTS even more crazy a Court has to consider if a holiday is a good thing for a child eh? :)

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More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77107

Hi,
.
This is very true Yoji.......
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GTTS

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More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77141

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Hi

Given that the holiday is so far away, if you cannot get her to agree in writing, I would definitely make it clear to her that you will go down the mediation and court route if necessary.

Please try to keep all correspondence with her to a written format so that you have evidence should it need to get that far.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77172

Hi There,
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As an addition to Yoda's post send all letters recorded delivery so that you can prove she recieved them in case she ignores them and states she didn't recieve any letters.
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When I had to do this with my ex, I had someone she didn't know write the envelope so she couldn't refuse the letter at the door when the post man knocked I didn't want her to spot my hand writting and decide she didn't want the letter. That said I'm sure that the postman would have had to make a comment on his machine that it was refused at the door.
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GTTS

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More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77184

I will never understand why a parent would ever behave in a way that makes things so difficult for everyone.

Anyway, she must have either realised or been told that she would be unwise to prevent this trip as she has now said she doesn't haven't a problem with it.

It's just very hard to trust someone to do the right thing when they have done so much wrong.

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More holiday troubles 3 years 11 months ago #77194

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Get her agreement in writing

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~E=mc2~
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