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TOPIC: Sound Recording my wife and children

Sound Recording my wife and children 3 years 11 months ago #78264

Hi guys,

She moved out to her friends last week, took the kids and then 2 days later told me they weren't coming back until I move out. She basically took them without my permission and now seems to think that she is the primary carer and is making all kinds of rules and demands. I've seen them once in the space of a week and even then she was trying to make excuses so I couldn't see them. 8 did manage to have them for a few hours yesterday and they spent all day telling me that a) they don't want to go back to her, b) they hate being where they are and c) they want to live with me.
Now so far, social services, the police, cab, and a solicitor have all been contacted by me and I have a visit tomorrow from a lady from social services to check the house, and to interview me, which I'm quite positive about.
I agree with you about the recordings, im keeping them to myself until they're required.
She has threatened me with mediation, which I said excellent. But I think she was just calling my bluff so I'm going to a mediator tomorrow to get the ball rolling.
The solicitors said that it could cost me between £2k and £10k to see this through to which it made me feel sick....... I don't have that kind of money.
It looks like I'll be representing myself.

I'll do whatever it takes to make my babies safe and well.

Thanks guys and I hope you're all doing well

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Sound Recording my wife and children 3 years 11 months ago #78267

How old are your kids? Feel free to PM me or one of the long term posters if you want to. If you are in a position to look after them and you have PR there is no legal reason, as far as I know, for you to have them stay with you until the court decides. It could cause more hassles but there are ways to sort that out as well.

I cant stress enough about the importance of having a good relationship with social services. If your kids are able to express their wishes and viewpoints social services will speak to them. I would be inclined to let them listen to the recordings.

The £2k figure would be only if you can come to an arrangement with the mother early on, If it goes full hearing even the £10k mark would be looking cheap. If you got some finances to spend on them, they could become useful in writing one or two statements during the court process.

In my case I did get a solicitor involved later on. It saved some stress but saying that I would have get main residency without their help.

Has Mother got the finances for a solicitor? If not, level playing field anyway.

You seem to be doing all the right things at the moment. I would not go down the "worry book" way though.

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Sound Recording my wife and children 3 years 11 months ago #78341

Just my 2p worth. I agree that you should let Social Services listen to the recordings but i would not do it at the initial meeting with them. The reason i say this is, in my case i had a very young social worker who had only been on the job not even one year. When i played her voice recordings of my son in distress when his mother was going off the rails the SW didn't bat an eye lid. I then showed her a video recording of my ex being violent towards me and yet again the same reaction. In the end the ex managed to convince the SW and courts that i had been planning things for a long time and had staged everything to make her react.

I would let her spin her story to the SW first and then perhaps use the recordings to disprove her.

The recordings you have made are not illegal. but it will be up to the courts to decide whether they can be used or not after hearing arguments from both sides.

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Sound Recording my wife and children 3 years 11 months ago #78390

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That's very good advice in my opinion, about not mentioning it at first.

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Sound Recording my wife and children 3 years 11 months ago #78424

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It might be worth considering an urgent Prohibited Steps Order to get the children back. With this type of emergency order you don't need to attend mediation. You would need form C100 to apply for this and it would also be advisable to fill out form C1a to tell the court about the safeguarding concerns.

If you decide on this course of action you should take the forms in personally and impress upon the court office that in your opinion the children are at risk of harm, if they have been removed from school mention this and the fact that they are very distressed at having been removed from their home, that you don't know what their accommodation is and that their contact with you is being seriously limited. Once in court you could mention to the judge that you have recordings and they may then listen to them...there are no guarantees though.

It's something worth considering, with the fact that you have involved the various agencies is possibly enough for the court to make an interim order for the children to stay with you whilst the situation is investigated.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

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