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TOPIC: FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE

FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78031

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Well after a torturous whole of 2014 through court just to get access to see my Daughter I have just received an order which has given me 50/50 shared care.

Since the final hearing at the end of 2014 we had 18 months of peace building up to every weekend fri-sun with my girl until 2 months ago when I put in an emergency application for full custody of my girl which was ordered and reversed 2 weeks later.

Although I never intended it my ex got a taste of her own wrong doing it nearly broke her not seeing our daughter for 10 days and cost her a fortune in solicitors fees to get her back, we were in court on Friday and got the court to write into an order what me and the ex agreed between ourselves so I now have an order which states I have my girl every friday pick up from nursery and drop off at nursery on Monday morning every week and pick up from nursery wednesday and have her over night and drop her back to nursery on thursday every week until she is at school age which is 2 years away.

I'm over the moon as I never wanted every other weekend I've always pushed for every week and thats what I've ended up with written into this final order so job done!

Slim :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78032

Congratulations!!!

I know that you've helped me with advice in the past and I'm chuffed for you. There are success stories!

Out of curiosity, what grounds did you apply for full custody and why reversed? More details please we need inspiration :)

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FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78034

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You did what you had to do this time and because you did it with a true heart and never wanted to keep your girl away from her mother, I'm sure that shone through.

It was the wake up call she needed and I hope that you never have to take that step again...you have equal input into your girls life and a finger on the pulse if your ex starts to slip again. To be fair, she has a lot on her plate with her other child at the moment too so a little empathy won't go amiss....something you have in spades!

Well done Slim, youre a number 1 Dad!

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78038

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Thanks I did actually write to the court and withdraw the application but because the useless cafcass screwed up they wouldn't let me do it and because my step daughter was in hospital we agreed the above to her solicitor who drew up the order and the judge ok'd it on Friday.

As always the judge was fantastic it seemed he was more behind me this time as he knew I mean't business and stuck up for me previously when dealing with her solicitor, top man.

The relationship with the ex has actually improved since this round 2 she knows i'm not messing around I've even started building my relationship up with my step daughter again it's great having both girls round for tea ect

I've actually got my girl full time now whilst her sister is in hospital I've just made her pack lunch for nursery which is a first it feels so good I've always wanted to do that.

My ex has defo had a wake up call and she has sorted her life out I can see it with my own eyes and she knows I won't hesitate in doing the same again if need be, as I said before I didn't intend it but at least one of these women who do what they do have a taste of how it feels we're on so much more of an even keel, we are friends again now and I have forgive and forgot this time now she knows how it feels, it did nearly break her mind.

Slim :)

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78039

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Paul I got reports of her house being a right state and dangerous for the girls, reports of drug abuse, drug dealers looking after my girl and sexual relations happening around my girl I applied for an emergency custody and got it straight away for it to be reversed 2 weeks later as she got a s*it hot solicitor can't really go into too much detail but thats the top and bottom of it but this time round the judge was spot on and really fought my corner insisting I kept my weekends with my girl every week which was cool, same again he pushed us both into working things out which we did once my ex faced up to her issues and got help.

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78046

Well done Mr Slim. You have had a long battle and hopefully this will be the start of a less stressful time for you.

Your posts had been helpful in my case so I wish you the very best.

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FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78047

21 months or so to get what should have been the right thing in the first place and it took safeguarding issues to get there. The main thing is that you got there!

I wish you and yours a happy future and lots of fun together :) Well done Mr S.

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FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 4 months ago #78048

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Congratulations Mr.Slim.
The sad part is this outcome should have been the starting point, bot the end after several years of struggle.

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FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 3 months ago #78153

Hi Slim,

I have just recently joined the forum and am now having to fight the path towards shared care. I had to abandon my pursuit of "living with" due to a steer given by the judge at my last hearing two days ago.

I've decided to represent myself at the next dispute resolution hearing which will be towards the end of January. I'm trying to gather as much evidence of the benefits of shared care as opposed to the every other weekend arrangement.

My I ask how old your daughter is? My boy will be 2 in December and it seems his young age is the main factor in assisting the judge to prevent contact being increased more rapidly.

Do you have any advice or tips in terms of how to present the case that shared care is better for the child?

How long did it take from start to finish to achieve shared care?

BTW congratulations. I can only imagine what it must feel like. I only 3 months in and have already had four hearings.

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FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 3 months ago #78166

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Fantastic news Slim, so pleased for you all! Well done :)

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 3 months ago #78194

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Nilbo, don't settle for every other weekend I point blank refused to even entertain it throughout my case. I argued that seeing as I never seen my baby who was a few months old and I never seen her until she was one that every other weekend was a joke to build a relationship with her and as it happened all the judges agreed with me. In reality shared care is something you have to work up to but if thats what your child is used to then you can argue it will be detrimental to your child for changing his routine.

I had a year of hell through court and 2 years of very hard work working with the ex to achieve what I have now but I have forgiven my ex now and we are friends again it seems like we are even stevens now she knows how it feels to have your child taken away from you. My girl is nearly 3 and completely none the wiser of what had been happening.

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I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)

FINALLY GOT 50/50 SHARED CARE 3 years 3 months ago #78195

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Thank Yoda it really feels like it's all over now and I finally feel an equal parent in the eyes of my ex and the courts, the judges were fantastic as always I've just had my girl full time whilst her sister has been in hospital I'm dreading now not having her next week it's been awesome picking her up dropping her off for nursery, packing her lunches every day we've had loads of daddy daughter time it's been amazing :)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

I'm no way trained in Family court matters so don't take my ramblings as gospel but I've been through the Court mill and learned so much along the way I just like passing my experience on to other Dads who face this absolute nightmare from hell, you might not be able to beat the system but don't let it beat you :)
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