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TOPIC: Child contact order- Help please

Child contact order- Help please 2 years 8 months ago #82245

I am hoping you might be able to share your advice with me,

I am currently going through court trying to get access to my daughter as her mother withholds access if I refuse to give her more money or be her babysitter,

I have asked for every 4th weekend as I work full continental shifts and do not have any other free time. I have also asked for time in all school holidays.

She is rejecting this saying it is not enough time and I must either have her more or not at all. Is it possible that the judge could agree with her? She also says that when I do have her I must drive her an hour to a swimming lesson sit and wait two hours and then dirve an hour back.

The issue here is that I also have a 2nd younger daughter who comes to stay at the same time which I wanted taken into consideration as it is not fair for her to spend her only weekend with me a month sat in the car for 3-4 hours on the Saturday but the Judge said she does not matter?

Any advice at all would be really apprciated please as I cannot afford a solicitor and cannot loose access to my child.

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Child contact order- Help please 2 years 8 months ago #82246

Hi

Regarding

"She also says that when I do have her I must drive her an hour to a swimming lesson sit and wait two hours and then dirve an hour back."

No, this is incorrect. If you have Parental Responsibility, it is considered fundamental that you are able to decide what you do during your parenting time. It is considered to be an infringement of your PR (and the rights of the child to have a relationship with you unhindered by the other parent) for the other parent to attempt to "dictate" what is done during your parenting time (and vice-versa).

If there was a special reason why the child needed to swim (say they were competing at a very high level, or it was medically related) the mother could argue it is in the child's interest to be taken swimming...but I would be very surprised if a judge / court ordered this....it is a blatant disregard of your PR.

After divorce, it is quite common for some parents to "magically" find that their children suddenly want to do extra-curricular activities every day, and that said activities are more important than the child having a relationship with the other parent.....Judges/courts don't usually fall for this nonsense...and I guess this is a case of a "bitter ex" being encouraged by a solicitor to "try it on".

Any sane judge / court order would stipulate that contact must be worked around work patterns and shifts.

Hope helps.
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Child contact order- Help please 2 years 8 months ago #82248

  • Yoda
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Hi there

A court cannot force you to take contact or change your job in order to do this, nor can they order you to attend a swimming lesson during your contact time, unless they are asked to make a decision on that specific issue and it is written in to an order.

If you're only having contact 1 weekend every 4 weeks, it wouldn't seem unreasonable for your child to miss their swimming lesson that weekend. Also, it's worth bearing in mind - there are usually swimming lessons available midweek that they could attend.

Whilst your non-party child isn't the subject of these proceedings, your responsibilities towards that child will need to be considered.

Most judges are fairly reasonable and will expect you to be able to make your own decisions about how you spend time with your child
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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Child contact order- Help please 2 years 8 months ago #82258

Hi,

I cant really add anything better than what has already been said. Ill just back up the fact you can do what you like with your visits, if you were in a contact centre or supervised in any way then thats a different matter but as you have PR then its you who decides what happens.

The mother is clearly trying to be difficult and look for a reaction, i equally went through this. At the start the mother didnt want me anywhere near my child, then when i finally got access i got a new job in Scotland which didnt effect visits in any way but she then used it as leveridge in court saying i wouldnt see my daughter enough blah blah blah. So it was from one extreme to another, alot of these women and men included have agendas and will chop n change to suit themselves. Also bear in mind if you dont follow what she asks then she could get funny about the one visit you have in place, sometimes its better to keep shtum and do what your told.

Anyways, best of luck

Paul

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