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TOPIC: I need some help regarding my next step please

I need some help regarding my next step please 1 year 9 months ago #84446

Hi, this is my first post and I was hoping I could sort this myself but I need some advice from anyone that's been or going through similar
Firstly can I just give you the background to this

I used to be 26stone and lived with my ex partner and 2 daughters (age 14 and 8 now) I then saw the light and went on a year plan to sort myself out and wasting my life away so I lost 11 stone in a year and then I made the huge decision to leave the home and my kids - this was just over 4 years ago.

At the start she said she would never stop me seeing the girls and I had them every weekend and they helped me get though the grief of leaving my ex having been with her for nearly 17 years - not married I might add - PHEW !,,,
Then I met someone .... after 6 months and we have been living together for the last 3 or so years and to be honest she is a diamond.
My current situation is I've had no contact with my girls for about 9 months since an incident around her house when picking one child up where she falsely accused me of harming my child, punching her new husband in the face and hitting her in the stomach - I was slung in a cell and let out on bail but eventually charged with assault by beating on my 8year old which I attended court about 8 weeks ago and was found NOT GUILTY surprise surprise that's because I didn't do it.
Since this my ex has brainwashed both children's minds and now they don't want to see me as I'm a bully etc. I have attended mediation which was a total waste of time and no agreement was made she keeps saying all the right things - I don't want him to see them as they don't want to see him etc etc she has poisoned there minds so I've asked a solicitor and basically IM STUFFED is what there saying as if the girls say they don't want to see you then the courts have no power.

So have I just got to accept that I won't be in either child's life until maybe there adults or is there something I can do as I'm going out of my mind here - Sorry for the long post but want you to get the whole story

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I need some help regarding my next step please 1 year 9 months ago #84448

my eldest is 15 and youngest 10 and with what you have said about the solicitor is interesting... I have a current order that states to send birthday cards , letters and gifts ( indirect contact ) Gifts can be money and what child does not want birthday money.....

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I need some help regarding my next step please 1 year 9 months ago #84451

  • Yoda
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If you make an application to the court, the court would order a Section 7 report and probably speak to both your children. They are usually pretty good at sussing out if children have been influenced, so surely it's worth a shot?

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I need some help regarding my next step please 1 year 9 months ago #84456

Thanks for your replies , does anyone have an idea how much all this costs going to court etc

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I need some help regarding my next step please 1 year 9 months ago #84459

  • Mojo
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....I disagree with the solicitor, you do have the power to test the status quo in court. If mediation has failed you can ask the mediator to sign the C100 form to enable you to make a court action. To submit the forms costs £215 and if you decide to self represent, thats about it for costs. If you instruct a solicitor to act for you, well you're looking at four figures; anything from a couple of thou into the tens of thousands, depending on the duration and complexity of your case.

Many of our users have self represented with much success, it's doable and we would advise and support you as much as we can. Have a read through the stickys a at the top of the legal eagle section, where you'll find lots of info about the court process.

I agree with Yoda, it's worth a shot.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Last Edit: by Mojo.

I need some help regarding my next step please 1 year 9 months ago #84587

seems your ex is using parental alienation against you. this is shameful but lots of women use the kids against their exes. 14 and 8 is still difficult ages. if the 14 year old has a phone and you know her number id send a text every week asking how she and her sister are and asking to meet up. keep the texts and if they say no dont keep harassing them just keep sending text each week saying you love them and dont put down their mum. hopefully in time they come round. keep sending them birthday cards as well.

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I need some help regarding my next step please 1 year 9 months ago #84608

  • actd
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I disagree slightly with BigFra about texting to meet up - just text to see how they are. If you you keep asking to meet up, she might ask you to stop texting at all, so just messages to see how they are, and perhaps every 2 or 3 months, a message to say you are going somewhere for a coffee if she wants to meet up, and no more pressure than that. Go for the coffee anyway, even if she says no, she may just be curious, but you need to be subtle.

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