TOPIC: Is this reality...

Is this reality... 7 months 1 week ago #94879

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If she's not filing evidence, then there's not much you can do to make her. As mojo says there is case law regarding late filing, but it's often glossed over and hearings are adjourned to a later date.

I know how frustrating it is when the other party don't provide evidence and police disclosure is taking ages at the moment, but have a realistic conversation with your lawyer about whether an adjournment is seeming likely and if it's appropriate for them to raise this with the court now.
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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Is this reality... 7 months 1 week ago #94899

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It's a full trial not a hearing next month if she doesn't concede in the PTR next week. I'll ask my lawyer when I meet her before court on the FDHRA Wednesday if she can set her evidence aside.
You'd think a woman claiming rape and saying I even got arrested for it (never happened) and 30 other bullet points of abuse over 4 years (even before marriage!) would have a stack of evidence.

It's all lies she never in a million years expected me to refuse the undertaking. What happens if she's not submitting because she has nothing? It's more strange since her lawyer not answering mine.

I on the other hand have evidence showing her lying on two dozen points including her own order with discrepancies.

Please tell me I'm doing the right thing challenging the occupation order, I spoke to someone from CAB today that's helping my mum with something else and he said I should give my tenacy to my wife as she needs a place to live and wont want to live with me... I was thinking WTF! She's cheated, commited immigration fraud, put my children in danger being around a violent sex offender that throttled my step dad in front of my 3 year old, lied to the police and calling me a rapist to the family court. I should roll over and reward her with my home?

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Last Edit: by Marco.

Is this reality... 7 months 1 week ago #94941

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It does sound strange giving you that advice - I would go with advice from your solicitor.

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Is this reality... 7 months 1 week ago #94952

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TL:DR Ugh! Cafcass and then 4 hours in court. However wife forces have conceded ground and the old guard sex offender, took a pummeling! My time with my beautiful boys has increased 2.5x! Exactly what I asked for.
Up from 2 hours a week with each child to 4 PLUS Every other weekend.

An interesting day in court, my lawyer was in 2 minds to speak to wife before court to get her agree to my terms of extra time. My gut said go for it, wife is fed up with the children almost 24/7 and I was right, she agreed.
Interestly just after my lawyer got the Cafcass report saying wife won't agree to extra time. Plus all her allegations against me that show even more discriptences. For example I never knew I was taking medication everyday, even my doctors report doesn't show that...

Then it was my turn with the Cafcass officer, she didn't seem very clued up on the situation on the ground. Wife told her nothing about sex offender and Cafcass thought I was just throwing allegations about him. Then I told her it's a fact that he is a 4 time convicted sex offender that's on the sex register and banned from females under 25. Her face was priceless, knocked for six doesn't describe it, it's like Chris Gayle knocked the cricket ball for six into her face! Then I said about how he commited assault on my step dad in front of the children and sent me a death threat.
I also told her about how I'm still paying rent on my home in my sole name yet I can't live there, she looked absolutely disgusted. My lawyer said after it went fantastic!

Cafcass called wife back in 5 mins before hearing, when I saw wife in court she was so flushed. Wife blanked my existence, not 1 second of eye contact. I guess she hates me more.

PTR next week and section 7 due in December.

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Last Edit: by Marco.

Is this reality... 7 months 1 week ago #94984

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I think you can be quietly pleased with how things went, good news on the increased contact. Hopefully the Section 7 will cover all of the things that the CAFCASS officer is now aware of.

All the best

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I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Is this reality... 7 months 3 days ago #95058

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Now I see the true face of the family court.

Me and barrister made offer I keep the non molestation order on me promising not to commit DV which is easy as I never have, have seperate rooms from wife, get the occupation order over turned so I can live in my home with my children. Me and my barrister thought it was a good offer.

The judge looks at it quickly and not even asking wife what she thinks about it and says "They are Not living together"

He's not seen our statements or anything. He could have asked wife what she thinks about it. She can say no I don't want to live with "Marco", ok fine.
Just maybe she has regrets being taken in by a professional sex offender and got herself into a legal pickle and would agree to it and we could slowly reconcile with marriage counciling. We all make mistakes.

What's left for me now, if I win the occupation order, I'll get an empty house and be a lonely hermit waiting to see my children.
If I lose I be stuck in my little room at my parents with my mum's noisey oxygen machine pumping away all night in there never having children over night. I can't live like that. I don't know what to do, if not for my children I would already be dead. The pain hurts so much.

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Is this reality... 7 months 1 day ago #95086

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Hi Marco

I’m so sorry that you are feeling so low, court puts a terrible strain on those going through it.

It’s probably not wise to think about reconciliation too much, if your wife wanted to try again, she would most likely have contacted you about it.

I understand that you can’t see any way out of your situation right now, but it’s best to focus on the here and now and not try to think too far ahead, it will only make you feel worse.

When is your next hearing? I would concentrate on that and putting the best case you can forward.

All the best
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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Is this reality... 6 months 2 weeks ago #95377

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I had my Cafcass telephone interview today. I don't know what to think about it... It seemed too short and sweet? It lasted only 10 minutes. I followed Slims advice to bad mouth mother but maybe I was too soft.

Cafcass asked asked if I committed any domestic abuse. I said no. Then she tried to trip me up asking why wife got a non mol. I replied because I gave my wife an ultimatum of divorce if she doesn't stop seeing other man and she would be deported from the country if that happened, so she claiming DV to get a visa.

She asked about where I'm living now and why I can't have children over night.

She asked about my mental health, that went ok

She asked do I have any concerns about wife's parenting, I said only if she is seeing other man. Cafcass asked why are you concerned about other man? I said he committed an act of violence in front of my children and is a sex offender.

That was about it and she said then she will write up a report for the next hearing, then she said " it is possible that" then suddenly stopped and asked a question about my wife's current immigration status which I didn't know the answer to.
I feel paranoid about the it is possible part... pessismist in me says it's possible that I'll see the children less... since the family court is crazy

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Is this reality... 6 months 2 weeks ago #95378

Marko

Regarding the Sargent, he has not done his job correctly, failing to follow the use of the guideline for Sarah's law as such, he falls short of proper conduct. You do have an option here.

Call 101, speak to your appropriate force and put a request in to make a complaint against the Sargent (make sure you have his badge no and name if possible). A more senior officer will look into your complaint and issue, in my case the Chief Inspector of custody had to look into my complaint.
They also have a duty to find a resolution, it may be another option for getting the information required.

I managed to get Police policy changed nationally when I was arrested as they failed to follow approved custody guidelines (available on request from the cells) sent down from the home office. In my experience they will try to solve a fixable issue.

It sounds like a horrible situation, stay strong. The best advice I've had yet is (try) not to overthink things, it's like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.

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Is this reality... 6 months 1 week ago #95428

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My lawyer finally sent me my wife's final statement yesterday... What a damp squib it is! Only 3 pages (mine is 10 pages) her only evidence she is exhibiting is the orginal single assessment that I got quashed by my MP for being bias, mental discrimination and failing to safe guard. My exhibition proving my innocence and her lies is 77 pages long of text messages, bank statements, photographs, medical evidence, you name it it's there.

Also she has backtracked from her rape and violence claims, no mention of it at all now, since her own police disclosure/statement shows her lying. Still no mention of her sex offender sugar daddy.

A real kick in the teeth she is whining she only gets £1100 universal credit a month. I'm getting £400 ESA and from that I'm paying £425 rent on my home I can't even live in! She's living rent free and has free lawyers unlike me. She also lied she has no savings yet I can prove she has £3000!
I can't work out how she gets £1100 however? Joblessness, child benefit and eldest son's disability (which was about £200) I'm wondering if she falsely claiming housing benefit? Any way to find out?

The one bit that made me chuckle is that she is whining thar my Landlord from a housing association is ignoring her and her lawyer, begging the court to hand my tenancy over to her. What she doesn't know is that the domestic abuse wing of my housing association doesn't believe her and my landlord off the record told me as well she's just a squatter.

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Is this reality... 6 months 1 week ago #95437

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I’m not sure who you would talk to about housing benefit, but you could contact the council and tell them that you are making payments on the property and see where it goes.

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Is this reality... 6 months 1 week ago #95450

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Everytime I feel a bit positive... My lawyer just blind sided me with a £3100 office work bill! That's wiped me out :boohoo:

How would I go about ringing up the council? "I think my ex is claiming housing benefit, but I'm paying the rent on the property" feels a bit sleazy

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