TOPIC: Is this reality...

Is this reality... 6 months 2 weeks ago #95452

  • Mojo
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Just find your local council number and ask for the housing benefit section. If she is claiming benefits when she's not entitled to, it's fraud. They may have a reporting fraud hotline for reporting this type of thing.

I get that it doesn't sit well with you, but do you think she would hesitate to report you if she thought you were doing the same thing?

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I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Is this reality... 6 months 1 week ago #95543

  • Marco
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I got my safeguarding report from Cafcass.

They recommend:

Wife's partner (sex offender) should be requested to consent to checks

I should provide a letter from my GP on my mental health (I've done this a month ago?)

The Steps Order on the sex offender to remain in place until further order. (Seems to me, wife wanted it removed? Why mention it otherwise)



What I take exception to is the Cafcass officer seems to have an old fashioned view on mental health by the tone of her report. I have OCD it in no way impacts on my parenting and symptoms are self contained, no one would know, and it's even useful sometimes. But she writes mentally ill people are at risk of making unsafe and inappropriate decisions regarding their children! She makes me sound like I have schizophrenia or another psychosis disorder. Very offendending and if not discrimmary. Even my wife and her 101 lies never mentioned my decisions. At the end of the day it's not me running off with a 4x sex offender, commiting immigration fraud, possible benefit fraud and about to commit Purjury.
My mum won custody of me with much worse OCD with symptoms she pressed on me, like being super clean. So why would my mild form be highlighted like this?


Tomorrow morning the Vicar is taking me out for breakfast to strategize on my occupation trial on Thursday, should be interesting.

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Last Edit: by Marco.

Is this reality... 6 months 1 week ago #95586

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I had my "final" trial on the occupation order / non - mol today...

Family court is not a court, it's an insane asylum. Straight of the bat my barrister saying give up I could get findings against me. Only 30% chance of winning (gone up alot from my orginal 1%)

She meets "wife's" barrister in next room with thin walls, sounds like he's dominating and leading the show.

She comes back tells me have I made a decision, before I can answer, she goes off with wife's barrister again. She comes back with a sparkle in her eye, I thought something amazing happened, she said other barrister raised that lay magistrates are too low level for my complex case better a judge.

We go into court meet the magistrates they seem nice 2 old men and 1 old woman. Wife's barrister gives his spiel, they say they can deal with case but if Barristers want a judge they can.


Case delayed until Jan £1300 wasted on Barrister for me, Wife's barrister makes a Scottsdale of wife's key arguments and I assume discard others. They are now her lie of attempted rape (no longer lie of rape in order) A strange case where I asked my wife for biscuits, money control and clothing/make up control.


I had to give my answers to my barrister. Denied rape, attempted rape or whatever the claim is next.
Biscuits I said it's a load of nonsense, I was very sick with pneumonia, I saved a plain biscuit to take with my bed time antibiotics as they were the only thing I could stomach for days, wife ate it, I asked her to buy me some more, she comes back with chocolate cream ones, I refuse then goes hysterical how ungrateful I am. My barrister said it was abuse, I said no way, it's a simple request, she says my thinking is too rigided (hinting at my mild autism I assume),
I felt like I was in the twilight zone, talking about biscuits! She then asked did I shout at her. I said I lost my voice with my red raw throat, I even have message evidence to a aquantence on that day saying I could talk in whispers. She didn't bother to check or say anything.


Money I said wife gave me her card and signed the paper closing the joint bank account. She asked if I had proof of that, I was thinking wtf and said no. I then raised the stakes and said then wife must be claiming I frauded her signature to close the account, the bank can confirm if made a fraud signature, barrister said nothing but didn't look impressed.

Clothing and make up I just denied, couldn't be bothered, I said wife has no proof.

Because of delay I can't afford to keep paying for my house and barrister said it could be used against me, ya know paying for a house in your sole name not surrendering it due to false allegations, very controlling.

Wife's barrister told my barrister that the other man is very well known in the lawyer circuit, I dont know what that's sposed to mean, but he has his fingers in many pies.

I have to self rep now, almost broke, junior barrister treating me as guilty and getting dominated by wife's barrister. But I'm terrified and feel mentally broken and spent now. Facing a final trial by my self against a good barrister head hunting for findings against me and then that will be into section 7. I can't cope. Lost my home, my few hours with my children under threat and lost to an infamous sex offender. I dont know what to do, if not for my children I would have killed myself long ago

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Last Edit: by Marco.

Is this reality... 5 months 3 weeks ago #95931

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I have a fact find on 19th Dec. 'Wife's' barrister put forward the 4 best allegations on me in a Scot's schedule. 2 of them I've can prove are outright lies. (I decided to raise the stakes and contact my bank's fraud department asking if my wife's signature is genuine closing the account, I'm shocked how helpful they were, they confirmed it is and even sent a copy of the form!)

I don't understand why I could only reply to her allegations and not make 4 of my own? For example conspiracy to fraud (Immigration) with the 4 time sex offender. Also since she chose her 4 best allegations, does it mean the 101 lies she said before get a get out of jail free card? Her police statement and non mol are wildly different and contradictory!

Does it mean I have to try and weave my 80 pages of evidence into her 4 chosen? I've managed to scrape the money together for a £800 pupil barrister, he has a background in immigration law which will be very helpful and cleared one father before of unfounded rape claims.

I feel so worried and sick, and now my mum is in hospital with a 50/50 chance of survival.


@Mojo can you have a read through of my statement and see if I have any hope?

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Last Edit: by Marco.

Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95933

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I understand your frustration, but the courts will only want to deal with the first/most serious 4 or 5 allegations, because of the time involved. It’s probably to your advantage that everything else is dropped, so that you can concentrate on the core of allegations.

An 80 page statement just far too long, so yes it would make absolute sense to do some strong editing.

If you’re tasked with providing a statement, you could mention yourconcerns about the bank fraud and the conflicting police statements, just be brief.

If she has committed fraud it would be a police matter in my opinion and not a matter for the family court to deal with, your barrister should advise you on that.

I’ve PMd you

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Last Edit: by Mojo.

Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95937

Raising the fraud issue won't help - in fact it could harm him. Had similar in my case.

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Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95942

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Keep the fraud issue separate.

I take it that your fact finding is now in front of a proper judge and not magistrates? That will help you a lot if you are self repping.

Your statement needs to be no longer than 4 or 5 pages of writing if possible & then the additional evidence.

Deal with the scott schedule allegations in turn. Give your version of each allegation and then attach the evidence for each one. You don't need loads of pages, just a few key pieces. If there are any issues you want to add that you feel are relevant and have evidence for, do that at the end of the statement.

Best of luck

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95953

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Sorry I should be clearer, my actual statement is several pages. My evidence exhibition is 80 pages. It's all been submitted as we were about to have the final trial that day but wife's barrister decided in court he doesn't want magistrates due to the nature of his clients allegations. So that day turned into a Scott's allegations day when there wasn't a Scott's before, seems like some sort of poly by him. My junior barrister only put replies, no allegations of my own as it could "stir the pot" which is strange as my best defence is exposing the plot. £1300 wasted that day.

It will be in front of a circuit judge next, I've managed to get the money for a pupil barrister, can't be any worse than my last! The case is a very complex chain of events with immigration fraud as the motive (if you claim DV you won't get deported in a divorce), if it's chopped down into 4 allegations, she's being given basically a deck of get out of jail free cards, and I'm left at the mercy of a judges opinion with no evidence against me.

In her Scotts it seems her barrister found her best claims from the 101 lies with such classics in them such as I stopped my son from walking! A bit problematic when he can be observed running around! And that I'm unsafe to care for them, even though she left them in my care while seeing other man. Thats conviently vanished. She is now running with she was sexually assaulted not raped on the night of my arrest (no arrest for sexual assault as well), that I tried to stop her from calling police (She called them fine after a bad connection at the start and no report of struggle on police phone log) that I didn't let her have friends (how does she explain other man? Plus I have photos of her with normal friends) and that I didn't allow her to spend money and I left her penniless, so poor I had to pay for her police disclosure (I have bank statements of her withdrawing £1000s this year)

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Last Edit: by Marco.

Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95955

Is the next hearing a Fact Finding? If not, perhaps save the money you are paying out for a barrister and self represent that day.

If you get a decent judge, you should be able to put everything you are concerned about to him / her and come out of the hearing with a clear idea of where you are and where this case is going.

It's never a good idea to overload the court with allegations but, certainly, genuine issues that relate to your ex's care of the children should be raised. The trick is seeing through the fog of war and understanding which issues are relevant and which are not.

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Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95956

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You will find dealing with a Circuit Judge is a whole new ball game. They are extremely experienced and will make sure you get a fair deal in the hearing whether you are represented or not. They cut straight to the chase and do not mess around.

As previously said. If the next hearing is a DRA, save your money for the fact finding.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95962

It's such a shame we end up having to second guess this process. No matter how may times I've been before different judges, each has their own way of dealing with things.

Yoda is right, a circuit judge or even and experienced district judge will always cut to the chase and give you a far fairer hearing than magistrates or deputy district judges.

Remember to present yourself as calm and reasonable no matter how frustrated you are. One of the primary weapons in the armoury of a barrister or solicitor is that they know they just need to press the right buttons to make you look angry or, indeed, make you look anyway they wish to portray you. Be ready for this treatment, it works wonders, and catches them off guard as often it is all they have to fight with.

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Last Edit: by justdad. Reason: Typos

Is this reality. 5 months 3 weeks ago #95963

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Thanks guys. It will be a fact finding hearing. The 'final trial was hijacked into a DRA last month. Also they merged the children's proceedings into the non mol proceedings. The section 7 due in January.

I heard the circuit judge I'm having will be the highest in the western circuit.
I don't have a hot temper so I will be able to stay calm in that sense, from barristers questioning however I'll be very anxious. My barrister has put forward that I will need lots of breaks due to being a vulnerable person.

My bank has came through with great evidence for me today. I predict that her barrister will say I took out the money on joint bank statements. So I got my bank to confirm it was her chip n pin used to take out 200s and also she took 1000s out in branch with Russian passport.
Will there be any punishment for her? Because in first hearing she was claiming destitution and judge ordered me to pay for her police disclosure. Yet I can prove now beyond all reasonable doubt she was sitting on 1000s in cash.

£1000s in cash, 1100+ monthly universal credit, free lawyers, living rent free while I pay for rent on my home I can't live in and lawyers on £450 a month on disability.

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Last Edit: by Marco.
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