Not done this before hoping to get some help.
My sons monther has taken my son from my care which i have had sole custody for him for the last 12 years because she didnt want him and couldnt cope with him.
So we had an argument a few weeks ago and he refused to come home he is only 14 and he has caused nothing bit trouble over the holidays so he wasnt my biggest fan already.
Now i have a non molestation order on me and went to the first court date where they adjourned it till 2 weeks from now because i had no evidence but i cant afford a solicitor and will not get legal aid because his mother is already doing that.
I really need some help with what sort of evidence i can provide that i dont hit my child.
Other then statmemts from people i know..
would really appreciate anyone that has been through this aswell commenting
Before you look at trying to find evidence, the question is does your son want to come back to live with you? It sounds as though he doesn't and at his age, a court is going to take his wishes into consideration, so even though he has lived with you for so long, I'm not sure that you are going to achieve anything by going to court if your son isn't going to help your argument.
He has said he does not want to right now but his mother is not in a fit state to keep him and the social wont let him stay with her either i do not think and i also do not want this order hanging over me and mking my son a child in need as they call it
Thank you for your reply
It might be helpful if you prepare a brief position statement to take with you to the hearing, also some copies to give to the other parties (your ex and cafcass and a copy for yourself). Just to outline what has happened.
Has your son stated that you hit him? If he has, it will be difficult for you to prove otherwise, as has been said, at 14 he will be listened to .
At the end of the day, it will be down to your word against theirs, and it will boil down to who the judge believes. It's might be better for you to accept an undertaking without accepting guilt. However, if the non mol includes conditions to stay away from your son, you will have to fight it, as this would affect your ability to have your son back with you.
Generally the non mol will need to be dealt with before the issue of where your child should live can be looked at. Have you spoken to Social Services about what has happened, what advice have they given?
It might be helpful if you can attend at a Families Need Fathers meeting, here's a link to their website, where you'll find details of meetings nationally
thank you for the reply.
can you help me with what to put in the statement maybe as I literally can't understand what I would need to explain my son has a great life and now this
I have regular contact with the social services and they are very helpful but even they were confused as to what evidence I should provide.
my son has now said to them apparently that I have hit him in the past but I am devastated that he has said that as I have never hurt him and never would.
also I am supposed to send exes solicitors the details of my evidence but I cant really understand why I have to do that either.
As your ex has a solicitor, has she got legal aid funding?
Who said you have to send her solicitors details of your evidence? If the court asks for it to be filed, at that point you would also supply it to the other party. I would hold off on that to be honest.
If you have evidence, you can mention it in your position statement, and say that you have it with you if the court wishes to see it, but don’t attach it.
A position statement, should be brief, just a couple of pages. You want to give a little background, for instance that your son has been living with you full time for 12 yrs and the reasons for that,
Talk briefly about what a good life he has had with you and the boundaries that you have set as a responsible parent, boundaries that you feel he is rebelling against, which may have led to the current issue... so he went to spend time with his mother during the holidays, and that’s when the allegations have been made, explain that they are groundless and mention any evidence you have.
Also mention Social Services involvement and their concern for your son should he stay in the mother care, ask the Social Services if they support your sons continued residence with you, if you have that, you can also mention that in the statement.
I’ll get some links for you to help with the format etc.