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TOPIC: Non Molestation Order help

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 6 days ago #94890

Hi, I have applied for a Non Molestation order against my ex wife. The contested hearing is in 3 weeks.
Obviously as predicted she has refuted all of my claims and claims to be whitest of white. That is fine, I expected that.
I have obviously done my statement and the judge has ordered her to do hers which she presented to me last week. My question is, how do I respond to her statement where she has claimed that it is me lying?
For instance I claimed that she had assaulted my wife last year and received a caution after admitting the offence and similar flash points occur during handovers currently which is why I applied for this order. My Ex wife claims that she never admitted the offence and doesn't have a caution at all.
I spoke with the police today who have confirmed that my information is indeed correct. Do I present a small statement to the court focusing on the more important parts. I just dont want to bombard the judge with lots of stuff.
I am also to cross examine my ex wife (neither of us have representation). This makes me very uneasy as it is and i almost feel that by being cross examined by her is yet another form of abuse. I am prepared to question her, minimal questions which will allow the court to see that she is indeed a liar.

Does anyone have any advice on this at all?

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Last Edit: by Sporadic.

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 6 days ago #94893

Regarding the police caution, you've not long to get the polcie disclosure and tbh not sure they would give it you as you're asking about it for someone who is not you.
however, it may be worth asking the officer you spoke with if they would be able to send you an email or police log that show she was cautioned. i managed to get a copy of a police officers notes from her notebook that helped me prove my ex was the agressor in a claim that she made against me.
if not then when you are at court say you have evidence but you need the judge to order police disclosure so you can provide evidence to support your claims due to lack of police disclosure.

For responding to her statement, that's for you to do in court and have proof ready to submit as evidence. You should have already submitted your own evidence with your statement to prove your claims if you had any. if you have not then you need to get that submitted in advance of the hearing if possible if it's only to prove your self against her lies. Or you can make sure to take 3 copies with you on the day and then offer it to the judge and the other side when in court.

for example:....if she says you did "this, that or the other"....and you reply stating you did not and you have evidence with you here (Hold the evidence up) for the courts to review to prove this.

for cross examining it's difficult, make a list of questions against your ex's statement and stick to them. if she answers something that may highlight a new question ypu'd not thought of then make a note and ask that question. then return to you original questions.

it's going to be difficult to get questioned by her, just remain calm and answer honestly, don't let her see you are getting upset or angry, best thing i was told was to take a moment to think about her question before you answer.
if you have evidence with you to prove your answer then highlight it to the judge as i mentioned previously.
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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 6 days ago #94895

Thank you that is really helpful. Ah, I see. I submitted a statement but didn't know I would have to submit evidence. I had hoped that she would have accepted it and wouldn't cause yet further distress and stress with another court case.
She has gone down the route that it is absolutely ludicrous that I have accused her of this, even going as far as to say that she didn't admit the offence or caution. This makes me think why because the court have access to those records. I wonder if she will be believed because she is so good at lying then worry if the judge will believe me. She does have a historical list of assault's and aggressiveness. She is trying to state that I have pestered her and harassed her by contacting her to discuss our child. This was at the recommendation of CAFCASS during CAO proceedings. Am I allowed to cross refer against that court case or is it best to just stick to the more pressing matters of this one?
Also, am I able to say "I believe that she is saying the right things bother behaviour is very different to that os what she displays" things that basically incriminate her?

Thank you once again

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Non Molestation Order help 1 week 5 days ago #94908

If CAFASS recommended you discuss thigns between you about your child then you should reference that, the only thing i'd be wary of is sending too many texts or emails etc...
my ex tried to claim i was harassing her but i took screen shots of every text and email to prove i was not or to prove she was the one kicking off at what was deemed "reasonable requests".

I would draw the Judge's attention to the fact your ex has a history of agression and assaults - you must be able to prove it if she denies it. for me it was always her way or no way, the fact everything for years was in texts and emails made it so much easier to prove in court. you can't argue with something written down.

my ex has been proven to say the right thigns in court and in front of the right people then stick two fingers up as soon as she's not. i've lost count of how many meetings and reports with CAFCASS have said the same, basically that she won't stick to a court order. yet the courts still naively think that she will and give her chance after chance at my cost and our child and my emotional expense.

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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 4 days ago #94911

Thank you. My ex's statement does have 5 pages of text messages printed out. But.. they are between both of us. Also, she has also put 5 entries in there (obviously typed out) for a date that I was out of the country and definitely didn't send those text messages.
Same with my ex, her way or no way and it is easily identifiable from her texts that she tells me what is happening rather than asking. I have asked for a NMO twice so far to do with the CAO and out has been denied so I am only going to end up in court again if it goes the same way.

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Non Molestation Order help 1 week 4 days ago #94934

If you end up needing to ask for a Non-Mol again and it get refused then ask that she take an undertaking to the court to say she will not harass you or whatever it is you want her to stop doing and the reason you need it is to protect yourself and your partner, family etc...

if she refuses then ask the judge why she won't take an undertaking to the court, as to you that would mean she intends to do those things.
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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 4 days ago #94935

Thank you.
We have asked for NMO because of the risk of violence and aggression. She has already flaunted 2 undertakings which have been recorded with the court for the family matter of CAO.
She has suggested a joint undertaking which I am not willing too agree to because she will flaunt it again and it is not me posing a problem.

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Last Edit: by Sporadic.

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 3 days ago #94966

OK in my opinion you should make sure the judge see that and show evidence if possible to prove it.

Good luck and keep posting

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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 3 days ago #94967

Thank you, you really have been very helpful :)
I have an admission from the CAFCASS worker whereby my ex told her she had breached the undertakings so could I use this during my cross examination? I am not sure if I can give evidence from another court case?

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Non Molestation Order help 1 week 2 days ago #94977

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I don’t see why you couldn’t use that, it’s in context and pertinent to your case.

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Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 2 days ago #94985

If you have that in writing use it...

In my opinion the worst that can happen is the other side may want to argue that it's not relevant to the case you're in court for, but you can at least argue that it is evidence of your ex knowingly breaking undertakings.

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Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Non Molestation Order help 1 week 2 days ago #94986

Well, not only do we have the admission of the CAFCASS officer stating that my ex admitted that she had breached previous undertakings on 3 separate occasions. I also went through the paperwork last night and found a position statement from my ex from January 2018 stating "I accept full responsibility for my previous detrimental actions, behaviour and destructive and aggressive behaviour, including alcohol misuse"
I am only going to be asking about 10 questions, all of those questions I have proof for that she is intact a liar and then I found that. I am just hoping that the Judge doesn't fall for her act and do the cross undertakings.

Thanks everyone, Im feeling more confident about this.

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