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TOPIC: Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school

Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 6 months 1 week ago #95567

I'm in the process of court proceedings at the moment. I've had the initial hearing, and we are now having mediation (I couldn't find the post I'd already made about the proceedings to add to).

I reported a whole bunch of concerns I had about the behavior of my ex towards our daughter during Cafcass' safeguarding interview. There was one thing that Cafcass were particularly concerned about so they contacted social services to alert them (I already had, as well as reporting several other things, but when Cafcass originally enquired, social services told them I had never been in touch to report anything - thanks for that!). Anyway, social services carried out an assessment of the situation, and went to my daughter's school to talk to the teachers.

The assessment has now come back saying that the school told social services that I said a couple of things that I didn't, and what's more of a concern, they said the school raised concern about my behavior.

I've never been anything other than friendly and polite with the school so I was baffled to read this. I thought it surely must have been a typo. Anyway, I told my solicitor about all the inaccuracies, etc, and she emailed Cafcass (we're yet to have a reply, surprise surprise). She said I could speak to social services if I wanted to. I phoned them up today and told them about the two factual errors in the assessment report, and asked if they could enlighten me about what concern the school have about my behavior. They said that the school had told them that they had found my behavior 'odd' because in coming in to speak to my daughter's teacher (under social services suggestion) about some concerns I had regarding her mum, I had asked the school if I could take my daughter out of school once or twice a week to question her about her mum's behavior (I never asked this. That would be absurd. If I did ask that they would have a right to call my behavior 'odd'. But I didn't. However, I did say to my daughter's teacher that social services had suggested that I ask the school if THEY could check in with my daughter once or twice a week), and because I offered them a free poetry workshop (Full stop. Apparently that's enough to be accused of being 'odd' these days. I'm a poet and I have a couple of books out. Workshops for kids is something I've been wanting to do for a while. It came up in conversation that I write poetry, and having received an email from this teacher asking for parents to come in and share what they do with the children, I thought maybe offering a free session at my daughter's school would not only be a good place to start before offering it to other schools, but also just a nice thing to do for the children - how I was wrong!).

When I explained to social services they were very empathetic and could hear how upset I was by this, and suggested I contact the school. I've tried, but as usual, I can't get through to them. My daughter's current teacher isn't replying to my emails lately either. I'm starting to feel very on edge. Like most of us here, as the non custodial parent, and a dad to boot, I've been given a pretty raw deal over the years, and have been subjected to a lot of suspicious responses and reactions from people (nursery, GP, etc) as if I've got a sign on my head that says 'approach with caution'. Having had some bad experiences with my daughter's nursery, when my daughter started going to school and I had positive first contact with them I thought 'Finally, I can get the acceptance I should get as her father', but now I'm not so sure, and right now I'm a bit afraid to go into the school. I feel like I don't know what they're really thinking. What they've said about me seems a bit sly, and I'm not sure where I stand with them.

If you've read all this, I commend you. My head is spinning and as silly as it might sound, I feel quite hurt by this. I really believed that the school thought I was an alright dad, and an alright person. It's one of those things of the more people treat you like you're odd, or tell you're odd, or whatever it is, the more you start to believe it.

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Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 4 weeks ago #95819

Update: I've spoken to the school who have said they didn't make any comment on my behavior, and the other two things that were inaccurate weren't said either, in short. They said they would contact Social Services to correct all this but haven't been able to get hold of them as of yet. It's all a bit bizarre. The saga continues...

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Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 4 weeks ago #95827

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That’s something at least... a saga indeed.

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 4 weeks ago #95840

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It makes me so cross when things are reported in this manner. It sounds like a complete saga and no wonder your head was spinning.

At least it sounds like it will now be corrected and that is a step forward!

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 3 weeks ago #95860

Well, the saga really does continue...

The lady dealing with the report asked for the school to get in touch with her if there were indeed inaccuracies (which there were) and that she would then make the necessary amendments. The school haven't been able to get hold of her (it's been about a week), so I thought I would give Social Services a call. They refused to put me through to the lady who was dealing with the case because she has now signed off and is working on other cases. Even though she explicitly told me what she did. They have now told me to ask the school to email their gateway team and explain what's happened. It's ridiculous, You can't make a load of stuff up, say you will amend it, and then do a runner. It's going to be a bit of a faff now for the school to explain everything to the gateway team. It would have been so much simpler to talk to the lady who already knows the case, as it's all getting a bit complex.

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Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 3 weeks ago #95869

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It's quite often the case that things get like this with schools and Children's Services or any other external agencies. For example when CAMHS or other additional needs crop up. The red tape is always immense and far more complex than it needs to be!!

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 3 weeks ago #95896

Try to get the school to confirm what they have said to you in an email or letter.

If push comes to shove you can present this in evidence - which may actually do you a favour as it will call into question much of what is reported about you by CAFCASS etc.

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Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 3 weeks ago #95904

Yeah, the school have got back to me to say they are going to email the children services' gateway team, as we've now been told to do, with the inaccuracies, and they said they would CC me in. So I'll print that email, and if nothing gets sorted, at least I have that I guess.

I spoke to Cafcass as I had to ask them about something else and they said it had nothing to do with them, and that they only report what's been said to them. Which they do, but they've been known to make errors before when transcribing conversations.

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Accused of 'odd' behavior by the school 5 months 3 weeks ago #95907

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If there are any inaccuracies once reports are complete, they can be challenged at court.

Cafcass won't correct things prior to court unless they are factual errors such as dates, names etc etc

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