TOPIC: Contact complication!

Contact complication! 1 year 9 months ago #96856

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 8561
  • Thank you received: 1815
If you don’t feel like responding, I don’t see any reason to, theyre going to receive the paperwork for your enforcement application soon enough.

There’s a subtle difference between not promoting contact and stopping it, I wouldn’t be surprised if your ex has exaggerated what was said, but things will become clearer once you have the CAFCASS telephone interview.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Simon7580

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Contact complication! 1 year 9 months ago #96864

Just thought of something, the solicitor has written in the email to you that "They will be grateful if I refrain from attending the family home." and you state there is "no non mol order or prohibited steps order, just an informal email".

That there to me says that if you go to the family home you could find yourself with repercusions such as being on the receiving end of a Non-Mol or police through false allegations.

I am not a lawyer or have any legal training but based on that i wouldn't go anywhere near her until you have this in court and even then after i'd be wary of being their without witnesses.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Simon7580

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Dad-i-d

i'm not legally trained....i'm just a Dad going through hell to see his child grow up and become a decent man and human being.....my goal is simple...to be the father to my child like my father is to me...my hero.

Started this battle 2010.....who knows when the fighting will stop!

Parental Alienation is real and is abuse!

Contact complication! 1 year 9 months ago #96866

dad-i-d wrote: Just thought of something, the solicitor has written in the email to you that "They will be grateful if I refrain from attending the family home." and you state there is "no non mol order or prohibited steps order, just an informal email".

That there to me says that if you go to the family home you could find yourself with repercusions such as being on the receiving end of a Non-Mol or police through false allegations.

I am not a lawyer or have any legal training but based on that i wouldn't go anywhere near her until you have this in court and even then after i'd be wary of being their without witnesses.


For sure, I definitely won't be going on Saturday. There's absolutely zero positives that will come from it, and will only serve to give the ex and her solicitor ammo to sling at me. So I will be staying home this weekend.

It's really frustrating at the moment not having any idea what these allegations are, but being treated like a criminal nonetheless.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

A dedicated dad travelling the lonely road to secure the relationship with my son that we both deserve, while helping other lonely travellers along the way.

Contact complication! 1 year 9 months ago #96902

  • Yoda
  • Yoda's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 2661
  • Thank you received: 450
In theory she could put in an emergency PSO / Variation application, but that would likely be done ex parte anyway and the first proper hearing would probably take a few weeks to list.

I would say don't reply to the solicitor as you don't want to ignite things.

Wait for the C79 to get listed and I think you would be fine going as a LIP and waiting until a final hearing / fact finding hearing to pay for assistance.

It's likely that a Section 7 Report will need to be carried out if the mother is making allegations.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Contact complication! 1 year 9 months ago #96961

I was tempted to reply to the solicitor but didn't, as it wouldn't benefit me in any way to do that. Likewise, there were only downsides to attending contact as per the court order, so I didn't make the journey.

C79 application is in, so am just awaiting a date for the hearing.

One thing that mystifies me is the way everything seems to be going on behind the scenes and I'm the only one being kept totally in the dark. As it stands, there are allegations, and because of those, my ex and her solicitor are telling me SS are involved. I suppose it's a joint decision between SS and my ex to stop contact. It's baffling that nobody will tell me what is actually going on though.

Is that normal procedure?

Do SS conduct an investigation based on the allegations and not ant any point speak to the accused person to ascertain their view of the allegations and their response? Surely speaking to me, as a parent, would be a crucial part of the investigation.

Seems odd that they would do it the way it's currently being done. In theory they could investigate and turn up nothing, and since nobody has told me anything and I have been warned to stay away from the ex by her solicitor, I could just be waiting and waiting and waiting (had I not applied for enforcement). It seems like the system doesn't give 2 figs about the father who has the court order.

Is there anyway I can address this with SS? A complaints procedure as such?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

A dedicated dad travelling the lonely road to secure the relationship with my son that we both deserve, while helping other lonely travellers along the way.

Contact complication! 1 year 9 months ago #97020

The court sent me the date for the enforcement hearing. It's listed for 12th March for 1 hour. A 7 week wait!

So that's another 7 weeks of not seeing my son, on top of the 4 weeks that I have already missed out on. The fact that it's listed for 1 hour means we know that nothing will get sorted that day, and another hearing will be listed for sometime near to July. By then I haven't seen or spoken to my son in almost half a year!

This is absolute madness. The ex can peddle allegations and just destroy my relationship with my son as easy as that. And there's absolutely nothing I can do to sort this out in the backward family court system.

I'm one absolutely morally destroyed dad right now...

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

A dedicated dad travelling the lonely road to secure the relationship with my son that we both deserve, while helping other lonely travellers along the way.

Contact complication! 1 year 9 months ago #97031

  • Mojo
  • Mojo's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 8561
  • Thank you received: 1815
I’m so sorry Simon7580... you could write to the court and express concern for the length of time your child will be without contact with you and ask for time to be allowed at the hearing to discuss an interim order for contact to resume. Make a point of the fact that your child has formed a strong bond with you and will be distressed at the sudden and unexplained cessation of all contact.

Once at the hearing, if there’s no movement on direct contact, supported or supervised contact, push for the resumption of FaceTime/Skype.

I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful, it’s very distressing for you right now, stay strong.

All the best

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Moderators: Samantha Downes