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TOPIC: Dealing with an Overbearing Ex wife concerning My Time with our daughter

Dealing with an Overbearing Ex wife concerning My Time with our daughter 1 year 9 months ago #96872

Hello.

Does anyone have any advice concerning my scheduled time with my daughter and a very overbearing ex wife? Back story- Divorced 8 years. Fairly Amicable with my ex other then time with my daughter. I've since happily remarried and have 2 great step daughters who love my daughter to pieces, so does my wife. And my daughter loves them.

My issue is When its my days to pick her up from school my ex is always there. Our daughter is in grade 4 and is 9 yrs old. I ask my ex Why she is always there on my days (because frankly I don't want to see her) and she responds with-'I'm Helping our daughter "Wash her hands" And "giving her a snack". Then When I take her to her extracurricular activities on my time, My ex is always there! I ask her Why? And she responds with -'I don't stop you from coming on MY days'.

When we take the girls to festivals near our homes she will mysteriously show up and then all of sudden she'll ask to take my daughter for a couple hours....I could go on and on and on but I think you get the idea.

My question is how do I stop this? Its not necessary for her to be there. what can be done?

Thanks for any advice.

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Dealing with an Overbearing Ex wife concerning My Time with our daughter 1 year 9 months ago #96876

Interesting post. It certainly does sound like the ex wife is infringing on the time you have with your daughter.

Is there a child arrangements order in place that specifies a schedule of contact, or are the arrangements made between you and your ex wife with no prior court involvement?

Normally a child arrangements order would state the mother makes the child available for contact with the father and not to actually participate in that contact herself. Even without that, I agree, it is overbearing that she joins in with your time with your daughter.

Perhaps your ex wife has reasons only known to her why she feels the need to tag along. Insecurity, loneliness, FOMO e.t.c.

Maybe in the first instance you could speak to her in a friendly and sympathetic way to see if you can find out why she does this, and explain to her that your time with your daughter is exactly that, your time, and you would like to be able to get on with it without the interruptions. It's obviously frustrating that it will continue, but as well, in trying to get her to see your point of view you don't want the situation to blow up into an argument that could end up upsetting your daughter in the process.

So approaching it tactfully is probably the way to go here.

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A dedicated dad travelling the lonely road to secure the relationship with my son that we both deserve, while helping other lonely travellers along the way.

Dealing with an Overbearing Ex wife concerning My Time with our daughter 1 year 9 months ago #96899

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Hi smhdad71

I notice you said school grades? Does that mean you're in America?

Our forum is based in the UK so any advice we could give you wouldn't be applicable for you over there.

On a non-legal level, it's maybe worth trying to have a chat with your ex about getting some clear boundaries in place about the time you each spend with your daughter.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.
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